I've come to realize something. Actually, I seem to have this epiphany 4 times a year...very seasonal. Sometimes I sit around and sulk over the seasons of life that I used to be in and how much I enjoyed being "there." During "that" time, I was a great evangalist. Or during "that" time, I was thinner or like a gazelle on the treadmill. One of the longest seasons of my life was diapers and babies. I don't think I made a trip to WalMart without purchasing baby cereal, baby food or diapers. At one point in time, I had Evan, Emma and Avry in diapers. There was a season when I never, never, ever got solid night's sleep as either a baby or toddler would wake us up and I would drag myself out of bed to feed someone or comfort someone. Then there was this lapse of time....time literally evaporated and I woke up to find that I have a teenager going into high school, 1 in junior high, 3 in elementary and 1 in preschool. I'm a bit overwhelmed and the level of responsibility that comes along with raising 6 children. One child is a great responsibility, let alone multiplied times 6. During this season of life, I feel as though I am on information overload. I'm constantly looking to the calendar and trying not to forget things.
I don't feel "at the top of my game" so to speak. I don't have the same fire to invite people to church as I once did. I don't feel the same love and compassion for people as I once did...where did those times go?
To sum it up, I guess this season of life has it's purposes to glorify God. I'll be 32 years old on Friday...32 years of life. Why is that it's so easy to list the shortcomings and not the accomplishments? I feel very inadequate right now, a bit disoriented actually. It just feels like everything in my life drastically changed overnight. I know they didn't really, but it sure feels like it. From the moment that i pulled up to Harrison High School and dropped off my child, it has all changed. God tells me to not have a spirit of fear, but of sound mind. Life feels very emotionally tough right now. I'm not good at expressing this in person to many of you close friends. I'm just weird like that I guess. This too will pass..I'm sure it will. Right now, I just want to surrender it all to Jesus cause I ain't got nothing much to give :)
k
Life is Good because of God! Thumbs up!!!
1 comment:
Kara, a chapter in Anna's life is over and a new one is beginning. There is some sadness because you know she'll never be able to go back to that time. I'm feeling it with Kelsey too. She graduated and is moving on to other things. I'm happy for her but sad that we won't have her around as much. Her absence will leave a hole in our lives. These moments make us reflect on life and where it is going. I'll pray for you to find joy during this time.
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