Open Arms

Today, I'm just thankful. Thankful to be alive. To have a family. To have a mom and dad and grand-parents who love me. To have friends that are loyal and encouraging. To see God at work. To just know that "It is well with my soul." Is there any other better feeling in the world? NO!
As I sit here, many sounds are in the background. The cheering of the crowd on "Rocky"- yes the kids love this series! The wash machine twisting and turning with a slight squeek- yes I need to have this checked out. The girls peeling a pear and giggling. The slight hum of this computer....somehow it's all soothing to my soul. I am blessed beyond measure.
Things are stirring in my heart about embracing a new direction...whatever that might be. God's in control and I'm ready for Him to pour out Himself in my life.
I wait with open arms.

Spur of the Moment

Have you ever found that your life must be set up for success? You must remove the distractions and replace them with things that help you reach productive goals. Today, John helped me do that and I'm not sure he even understands the impact of what he did. He rearranged our bedroom...well, I helped just a smidge :)
You've heard me talk about the treadmill in the past. Of course a treadmill is only useful if you open it and USE it!!! It becomes a lovely clothes hanger if not in use. So, I've come to this conclusion- in order for ME to use a treadmill, it must be left down and look very inviting :) Anyhow, John sooooo sweetly moved it to where it can remain open in our room!! yay!!!! All afternoon, I kept thinking "just jump on that silly thing and walk for 20 min." And then I'd think "Nahhhh...it's just too hot today and I already feel sticky from the humidity."
After getting home from Evan's game this evening, I had a spur of the moment thought "Just get on the treadmill!!!" And i did!
My goal is just 20 min per day. I can do it!!!

Serenaded by My Hubby

I'm entering a new phase of life. My youngest child is now 5 years old and getting ready for Kindergarten this fall....I still can't believe this!!! For years and years and years, I would attend family events and parties with such a tense feeling as I had babies and toddlers to always, always care for. I would long for the moments when my very caring family would relieve me and take one child for a walk, or change a diaper, or just feed them and enterain them. I couldn't really ever just relax and have fun. But tonight...was different.

My uncle and fiance hosted an amazing blowout party event in W. Point. This was the first year that John and I could breathe more easily and let the kids run, play, have fun, explore, ride horses...just be kids...without us being on edge. The karoke was absolutely hysterical. The kids would take turns singing songs, dancing, strumming their pretend electric guitars, jam.....just have a hootin' good time!

As the evening went on, I kept nudging my dear hubby to try the karoke (he's super good at it and has a nice voice too) Me, on the other hand, can NOT carry a tune if my life depended on it!!! Finally, finally, he was brave enough to give it a shot and of course...hit a home run! He warmed right up and took his turn singing several songs. By the end of the night, he was confident enough to serenade me to a song that was quite funny....do you remember the movie "Top Gun" ? Remember the part when Tom Cruise decides to talk to the blonde gal and he begins singing to her? Well, my cuz Kristy's hubby Matt put John up to reinacting that whole scene! The song doesn't make much sense about our marriage or anything...but it was cute and fun to just sort of act out that scene. I'm quite theatrical and really think I missed my calling to be an actress :) teeheee...maybe not :) Anyhow, it wasn't actually the words that John sang, but the fact that he did it in front of about 50 people, that just touched my heart. I felt like I was 16 again and my crazy boyfriend, John, was wooing me with his fun-loving personality......that man melts my heart. Who would have ever dreamed that we would be where we are today? I'll tell you who....GOD. God didn't dream it though- HE ordained it and I'm blessed to walk this road called "marriage" with him as my soul-mate.
Praise and honor to God alone who has brought us this far and will continue to strengthen our marriage, our lives!

Ever Get Sick of Ordinary?

For anyone that has read my blog, you know that I had taken a bit of a blog "sebaticle." I've decided to return to blogging because God is making me more and more uncomfortable and pushing me to dig deeper. I'm on the cusp of a major change in my life and I'm not sure exactly what it is though I have some ideas. I've decided to start living a life more of faith and purpose, to not be satisfied with the ordinary. I'm getting sick of ordinary!

I don't want an ordinary marriage.
I don't want to be an ordinary parent.
I don't want to act ordinary at church.
I don't want an ordinary relationship with Jesus.
No!

I want an extra-ordinary joyful life. I want to be soooo contagious that if you even look at me- you see Jesus. If you speak to me- you want more of Jesus within me. If you spend time with me- you long to be more like Jesus. If I pray with you, God's extraordinary love overflows on you. If I hug you, you want to melt becasue God's love consumes you. I want more. I want more.

I want the heavens to rain down a flood of power unto me and others to unashamedly share the gospel of Jesus. Have i so quickly forgotten His power to change lives? Apparently so! When is the last time I shared about the gospel? His truth? I'm ashamed to say "it's been WAY too long!"

I asked God to light a fire under me a few days ago and it's starting to get warm...possibly real HOT...quite uncomfortable actually. I've pulled away from God over the past few months. It's been a not so fun place--spiritually speaking.
I've doubted every spiritual gift that He's given me. I've listened to the lies of the enemy as they are whispered into my ear and have gave way to these lies. I've stepped over to the side and allowed the lies to win. I've been embarrassed to even suggest that I have something of value to say to a group of women. Why would God use me? I became distracted by some personal issues. But Oh boy...I'm ready and willing to follow His call. I don't think that it is some earth-shaking radical change for me, but I think it's right before my very eyes. Every breath and step I take is being watched and compared to what I "say" I believe in.

I have 6 kids who are spending their entire summer with me...listening...watching..waiting...wondering and thirsty to know more about who God is. I have a husband who IS undoubtedly the most amazing man on the face of this earth- I adore many things about him. But mostly- I LOVE that he loves Jesus. I love his honesty, genuineness, transparency, and His growing level of discernment. I feel safe and secure with his umbrella of protection. I feel loved unconditionally. I am the love of his life and he the love of mine. Oh...how richly blessed I am. My greatest ministry is to be John's wife and I am honored!

So...my fire has been lit and I'm going to rely on God's power to live life full of love for others. May the world know HIM because of my love for his people. Whatever that looks like God, I'm ready to listen and to act upon it. Please oh please God-
I'm begging for your strength to transform my eating and exercising habits. You know I don't want to be skinny for skinny's sake, but I want to be healthy and vibrant.
There is NO doubt in my mind that you-God- and you alone are the only one who can help me succeed down this path and to change a lifelong history of leaning on food for comfort. The Bible says to give thanks for all things. Therefore, today, right now, I give thanks for exactly how much I weigh, for exactly where I am, and to know that you promise to work all things together for good. You are God alone and I trust YOU! I'm sick of ordinary when GOD- you are full of extraordinary greatness and grace. Fill me up.

How Long!

How long has it been since I first wrote on this blog??? A LONG time ago. I sort of came to a point where I didn't want everyone reading my innermost thoughts. I'm still at this point...so
God...it's all YOU and Me!
As you know I watched the "Passion" Sat. night and was moved to remember the road of suffereing that you took to the cross. You were highly persecuted- beyond my belief. You suffered in a way that is indescribable. I realize that you not only suffered physically, but the true worst part of it all was being God in the flesh and having to bare the sins of the world. How did you actually forgive and love those who were horrifically spitting in your face. If you were sitting right here, Jesus, I would ask you how did you do it? How did your heart not rage with anger for the unrighteous treatment that you were recieving? I love you Lord. I want to seek you with all my heart, mind and soul and NOT care one bit what anyone has to say unless it is godly advice. I want to "tune out," if you will, the static of the world. I want to hone in on what is precious and important to you! I want to love my family like you want me to and be the mom and wife that you've called me to be. I want to be a crown of jewels on my husband's head that he is proud of . I want to focus on eternity. You keep telling me eternity is at hand...eternity is at hand. I do want to have self control and deny my flesh . I do want to foloow and obey you , but I'm soooooooo weak! so weak!!! My weakness actually disgusts me!!! I want to be a shining witness for you and love people and tell them the gospel and your powere to transform their lives. But Lord, Lord, want do you really want to do with my life? Tell me. Please tell me. I want to sit at your feet and drink from the cup in your hand . I want you to hold me tight and not let me go. Connvict me immediately when I'm far from you, give me the strength to make wrongs right. Please give me a humble heart that does not want worldly attention. Make me dissappear and you APPEAR through me in your greatness. I love you Lord. I do. I'm sooooo sorry for all the ways that I let you down. You are my creator, my love, my maker. You knit my inner most parts in my mother's womb and I'm eternally grateful that you chose to love me first! Why did I get privledged to live in a free country, with loving family and upbringing, not an abusive home, a wonderful godly husband...6 lovely children...why me? I do not deserve all of this. I know there are people dying all over the world just because they don't have clean water. They are my human brothers and sisters and yet I allow them to die??? Oh Lord, break my heart for the things that break yours. I want a new passion stirred up in me like I've never known. Stir my heart Lord!! Stir it up!!! I want to eat your word and breathe it...live it...love it.
Lord, i love you and want to just be overflowing with you tonight.

Our Trip to Disney

It's been forever since I blogged here, but I wanted to take a few moments and record some valuable information that I've noticed while being here in Orlando/Kissimmee FL.

It's quite amusing that we are experiencing record low temps here in FL on our vacation. It usually is in the 70's but our week here has been 48-60 degrees. I did discover that no matter what the temperature, you need sunscreen. Even on cooler days, the sky is crystal clear blue and the sun is gorgeous. I would love to visit here more often...it's beautiful!

I'm thanking God for His amazing generosity to our family. We were blessed with 8 days/7 nights at the Orange Lake Resorts with points from my dad and connie's timeshare. When we first booked this awesome 3 bedroom/3 bathroom villa, I knew it was a far-fetched dream that we'd be able to afford to take 6 kids to Disney. For all 8 of us, the bill would be near $600 for ONE day!!!! That is just nuts! We began to pray..knowing very well that this trip was pure luxury, nothing we needed or couldn't live without. YEt, we knew that God could provide.
Sure enough, we received Christmas gifts of finacial means that paved the way. Talk about above and beyond what we could dream or imagine.....then, came.....an additional financial gift to specifically cover a day at Disney- this person insisted to remain anonymous but wanted to bless us. This person stated "I'm just a vessel for His money." I have been in shock over this gift because it was spontaneous and it showed me something about God's character....It is better to give than recieve. Yes, I happened to be on the receiving in...but I could see in this person's heart and eyes- the true love to give unconditionally, with no strings attached, freely, generously, with GREAT JOY! More than this trip, I want THAT...I want what that person had...I want to give like mad. I have a renewed hate for debt and overspending. God released more in this trip than I could have dreamed- He gave us freedom from the bondage of things. Strangely enough, we go on a dream vacation to be taught how NOT to hold onto the things of this world. Before we even left Indiana, I mapped out a very strict budget and John approved it. God empowered me with a firm and strong stand against being tempted into spending money that we had not budgeted. I knew I was a rock and would not waver. Here's the funny thing about that statement....I, Kara, am a total mush ball of falling into temptation...especially when it comes to eating out or eating treats at amusement parks!!! So, God turned me into a hard core drill money drill sergeant...it felt good.
So, here's my recordings of expenses so that I can look back at this someday and remember how I did this....
Gas right now is about $2.69/gallon. From our home to our resort was 1080 miles. We spent $150 gas to get here and for about half of our week here driving around. We left home at about 7 p.m. on Friday, Jan. 1st and drove straight thru with only stopping for 2 gas trips/potty break
and to switch drivers. It took 15 1/2 hours to get here. I drove from 2-4 a.m. and john drove the rest..he's amazing!!! Before we left, we ate a solid dinner. Each child had an "activity bag" which they would keep under their feet in the van. This contained their electronic stuff..Nintendo DS, MP3 player, Leapster, crosswords, coloring/crayons, etc. Also, they each had their own snacks for the trip and their breakfast for Sat. morning. (5 starbursts, 2 granola bars, small amt. of beef jerky and pecan rolls)They could snack at their leisure and I found this worked VERY well!!! Also, I found that 10 oz. bottles of water were perfect because we wanted to control the amount of fluids so that everyone didn't have to go potty every half hour. I kept these room temperature in the van and they were fine. So, we didn't actually have a cooler. I also packed a small box that sat between John and I of additional goodies: gummy bears, starbursts, peanuts, beef jerky, Special K bars, apples, large packs of our favorite gum, tissues, and anti-bacterial wipes. We had a mini trash can lined with a wal-mart sack (with 3 extra sacks hidden underneath). Then, we had a mini trash Each child also had one fleece blanket and one pillow. Needless to say, they were packed in our 8 passenger mini van. I also had made ahead peanutbutter and jellies for Sat. lunch and pringles (when we arrived in Orlando, I knew we'd be famished and not have groceries yet). Emma and Abby got one dose of Dramamine since they tend to get car sick- worked well!
NOTE- anytime you go to a timeshare resort- they will offer you several "deals" for you to just take a tour of the property. Never accept the first few offers. The more you say NO, the harder they try and will give you more incentives. I initially said No thanks as John and I had decided that would be our answer. We checked in, got unloaded and then Anna and I headed off to local WAl-Mart to do our shopping. (Aldi's was quite a bit further away). We had planned full menu for the entire week other than one evening's dinner. I spent $230 on groceries- very pleased with that. We booked it home to prepare Johnathan's favorite dinner since it was his 13th birthday!!! We had spaghetti, garlic bread and salad..yummy! Dinners for the week: spaghetti, chili, chicken and fettucini alfredo, taco salad and tacos, egg sandwiches, and left overs. Lunches: ham or turkey sand, pb and j's, chips and salsa. Breakfasts: pancakes, scrambled eggs, turkey bacon, sausage gravy and bisquits, Homemade "egg mcmuffins", cereal, bagels, hashbrowns.
Treats to make for week: Fudge, Chocchip cookies, NO bake cookies, banana splits.

John and I know exactly how the time share thing works and we decided that we were completely strong enough at this point in our lives to just get through those tours/sales pitches to get the free cash gift or excellent deal on Disney tickets. To make a long story short, we went through 2 tours and got $80 cash along with a phenomenal deal on 2 day passes plus Disney Quest for all 8 of us! Sadly, that $80 cash evaporated with parking 2 days at Disney ($14 each day) , tennis shoes for Avry since somehow we lost hers, and 2 trips to Walgreens for other stuff). My favorite part of the whole trip was when John and I told the timeshare salespeople that "we don't purchase anything without the cash to do so and we will NOT make payments on anything!" They looked shocked and politely tried to dispute our position. Oh well!!!!!! We're on our way to being debt free baby!!!!

The kids had money for our trip that they decided would be best used to purchase a family gift instead of blowing it on pointless junk and food at Disney. So...we purchased a Wii with the moola!!! Yay!!!! They've had a blast with it and it will last!!!

We went one day to Hollywood Studios and one day to Magic Kingdom. I filled my purse both days with snacks and a few water bottles. EAch day, we ate a hefty breakfast and lunch before we left for park around noon (this was the best advice anyone could've given us!) Then, we enjoyed the afternoon at the park and headed home around 6-7 p.m.

We hear it's a blizzardy mess back in Indiana right now. Our plan is to head out of here early SAt. morning and be home by 11 p.m. SAt. night. We hopefully will make it to church Sunday morning!!! I miss everyone soooo much!!!

I may add more details later...for now, I'm tired though. Space Mountain jerked me around pretty well...neck is bit sore :)

Why?

Today God is reminding me to think on things that have eternal value- character, relationships, deep meaningful things. I feel spiritually "heavy." I'm battling the flesh as usual and am finding myself very "me-focused." I can become consumed with negativity about myself to the point of not being able to see obvious ministry opportunities right before my very eyes.

Remind me again- Why does God want people like me who have junk in their hearts and lives? Why does He choose to give me things I do not deserve? Why can't I just quit and be a reclusive person who never has to face the fear of failing people????????????? Why do I easily forget that this life is but a vapor of time compared to eternity? Why do I settle for less when He wants the best for me?

There's really only one answer....BECAUSE He is God and He is love. The deep mysteries of God
are beyond my comprehension. No eye has seen nor ear has heard the wonders of his love! He can do above and beyond what we can think or imagine!

So....I'm resting today in His truth. I'm seeing more and more spiritual things around me- a war is going on and it's rough! God- here I am. Just plain ole me- use me as you want to please!

k