I'm just now getting a moment to post this amazing story. It's now Christmas morning, my folks will be here in less than an hour...but it must be told today....
My colonoscopy was on Tuesday and God performed a miracle, giving me the most lovely Christmas gift I could've ever asked for...... a PERFECT colon. Yes, you read that correctly!
Dr. Summers said that he did a thorough search and could not find any traces of diverticulitis. NONE!!! NONE!! NONE!!!! I've been a bit in shock over the past few days, not even getting emotional when I tell people this wonderful news...almost numb to His goodness. I get it. I finally get it. Often when people receive a miracle, they don't fully accept it, embrace it or even fully rejoice in it. Why? The only conclusion that I can come to is the human sin nature. I should've fallen on my face and worshipped Him after this miraculous news. I should've immediately posted a praise to Him and told you all the good news. But, me in my flesh and sin nature was just worried about what I was gonna eat for dinner and finish up Christmas shopping.
Merry Christmas to all of you precious sistas! I love you all dearly and KNOW that your prayers carried me through this. God has healed me and I feel fabulous. This Christmas is literally the first one that I can remember that John and I did not go one penny into debt with gift giving. He bought me one item...new parfume. I bought him a t-shirt. That's it. But the feeling of a simple Christmas is a sweet aroma...one that I haven't smelled for a long time....all glory and honor goes to God. Let's just say He gently guided me to the Customer Service of Walmart at 1 a.m. two nights ago after I checked out and spent over $300 (which included lots more fun stuff for the kids, clothes for John, new Bibles, new this and new that). We couldn't afford that..what was I thinking???? So, i humbly strolled my hiney straight to customer service and returned $186 worth of stuff. Do you have any clue how embarrassing it is to say to a clerk..."Ummmmm, I am really sorry but I over spent a ton of money and I have no clue what I was thinking!!! How about I put everything up on the counter that I want to return?" God gave me the kindest clerk I've ever met. He never huffed nor puffed nor rolled his eyes. He was an angel in disguise :)
I was so worried that this year i was going to "miss Christmas", miss the meaning and just get caught up in the normal chaos of the holiday season. Well, let's just say that I, Kara, the human fleshly sinner that I am, DID miss Christmas. Yet, God, in His infinite wisdom and gracious love, swept along and blessed me with presents from above. Thank you God!!!
love you,
k
Life is Good because of God! Thumbs up!!!
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Healing
Today has been an interesting day....I have had "issues" all day on and off with my stomach/colon! This afternoon, it got so bad that I was in bed from 2-5 p.m. I ask you all to just pray that it be healed. I called the dr. to see if it was possible to get in for the colonoscopy earlier than Dec. 31st. I will recieve a callback tomorrow but it sounded like they might have an opening next Tuesday. Nothing like getting a good cleanin' out before Christmas :) haha!!!
That's all for now...please pray for a complete healing of my colon!!!!
k
That's all for now...please pray for a complete healing of my colon!!!!
k
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Serving Others
Everytime I pull up to my mutilated front yard, I feel giddy and excited. How silly, huh? When I sarcastically said in the van "Look kids...at our beautiful front yard!" Avry replied with "Mom, I don't like this yard. I want our old yard back!" I'm sure that by now you are sick of hearing about my septic system. I'm tired of talking about it...but God keeps reminding me to pray, pray, pray! He is the great and awesome provider!!!!
If you've already read my first post, which I've now deleted..my apologies. I was very frustrated when I wrote it and that was not pleasing to God :)
Love you all,
K
If you've already read my first post, which I've now deleted..my apologies. I was very frustrated when I wrote it and that was not pleasing to God :)
Love you all,
K
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Front yard only!!!
More good news..... Jerry called John and told him that we could put the entire system in our front yard ONLY and NOT have to tear up the whole back yard! Yahooooooo!! This is awesome!
Let me paint you a picture: Each leech bed, which by the way, if you are like me the word "leech bed" sounds scary and odd. So, let me explain it: This is a trench dug about 4 feet down and 2 feet wide, or the width of the backhoe bucket. It is filled about halfway with stone. Then a approx. 9" wide white tile with holes all through it is laid on top of this stone. There will be 620 ft. of this tile laid, in approx. 75 ft. increments across the front yard. Then, our septic tank box thing is in our back yard, so he'll only have to dig up a hole big enough for a 500 gallon overflow tank that will have a sump pump in it and alarm system incase the pump ever stops working.
Most people have fire alarms, but the Townsend family must also have a septic alarm...that's funny! I guess it's fair to say that we are full of poo!!! teeheee!
Jerry's exact words were "This is an industrial system. If this doesn't work for ya, then nuthin' will!" I love good ole down home honesty!
k
Let me paint you a picture: Each leech bed, which by the way, if you are like me the word "leech bed" sounds scary and odd. So, let me explain it: This is a trench dug about 4 feet down and 2 feet wide, or the width of the backhoe bucket. It is filled about halfway with stone. Then a approx. 9" wide white tile with holes all through it is laid on top of this stone. There will be 620 ft. of this tile laid, in approx. 75 ft. increments across the front yard. Then, our septic tank box thing is in our back yard, so he'll only have to dig up a hole big enough for a 500 gallon overflow tank that will have a sump pump in it and alarm system incase the pump ever stops working.
Most people have fire alarms, but the Townsend family must also have a septic alarm...that's funny! I guess it's fair to say that we are full of poo!!! teeheee!
Jerry's exact words were "This is an industrial system. If this doesn't work for ya, then nuthin' will!" I love good ole down home honesty!
k
Septic Sytems are Soooooo Cool!!!
Hey!!!
There is a stack of lovely white septic pipes and concrete distribution boxes sitting in my back yard...I just keep staring at them thinking of how grateful I am to have this new system put in today (and probably in the next few days too)!!! God is good!!! The crazy thing is that I still believe that God is going to totally provide this system for us without us going into debt. How?? No clue! Why? No clue! Please, please, please, I am begging you to pray for a miracle and for the finances to pay for this. As you all know, we have the "loan" capacity from my aunt...but I am still "waiting on the Lord". God can provide for HE owns everything. We don't deserve it by any means as we are not the smartest cookie on the block when it comes to money. But our heart desperately wants to change. Our church is going to offer a 14 week program designed by Dave Ramsey beginning in Jan. My prayer is also that John would committ us to this program and that we'd see God do amazing things. I want to be financially free so that we can sow more into the Kingdom of God!!!!!
Ahhhhh, I'm hearing the beautiful sound of large machinery as I write this. The cute, little high pitched "reverse" beep just sounded from the backhoe or bobcat (not sure which one he's using).
Dirt, topsoil, leech beds, distribution boxes, solids, liquids, bacteria, stone, tile, grading, sewage:
these are new favorite topics for me. I'm truly in awe of how the whole septic system works.
We have a humungous gorgeous oak tree in our back yard and Jerry told us that it probably drinks around 500 gallons of water a day. Thus, it has actually been a huge blessing to us and helped the sewage to NOT back up into the house this entire time that we've been waiting.
Who would have ever dreamed that God would make a tree's thirst save my house from poop!!
Wow!!!!!
I'll update more later!
k
P.S... I just went outside to introduce myself to the crew and met Jerry. Are you ready to laugh...you know how the story of my life is that everywhere I go God puts someone in my path that "i know". Well, sure enough one of the men I said hello to had that familiar face so I asked his name...Timmy. Did you go to Mccutcheon High School? Yep! He graduated one year after me!!! How funny!!!!!!! So, I told them all that I was praying it went well today and i'd be here if they need anything!
There is a stack of lovely white septic pipes and concrete distribution boxes sitting in my back yard...I just keep staring at them thinking of how grateful I am to have this new system put in today (and probably in the next few days too)!!! God is good!!! The crazy thing is that I still believe that God is going to totally provide this system for us without us going into debt. How?? No clue! Why? No clue! Please, please, please, I am begging you to pray for a miracle and for the finances to pay for this. As you all know, we have the "loan" capacity from my aunt...but I am still "waiting on the Lord". God can provide for HE owns everything. We don't deserve it by any means as we are not the smartest cookie on the block when it comes to money. But our heart desperately wants to change. Our church is going to offer a 14 week program designed by Dave Ramsey beginning in Jan. My prayer is also that John would committ us to this program and that we'd see God do amazing things. I want to be financially free so that we can sow more into the Kingdom of God!!!!!
Ahhhhh, I'm hearing the beautiful sound of large machinery as I write this. The cute, little high pitched "reverse" beep just sounded from the backhoe or bobcat (not sure which one he's using).
Dirt, topsoil, leech beds, distribution boxes, solids, liquids, bacteria, stone, tile, grading, sewage:
these are new favorite topics for me. I'm truly in awe of how the whole septic system works.
We have a humungous gorgeous oak tree in our back yard and Jerry told us that it probably drinks around 500 gallons of water a day. Thus, it has actually been a huge blessing to us and helped the sewage to NOT back up into the house this entire time that we've been waiting.
Who would have ever dreamed that God would make a tree's thirst save my house from poop!!
Wow!!!!!
I'll update more later!
k
P.S... I just went outside to introduce myself to the crew and met Jerry. Are you ready to laugh...you know how the story of my life is that everywhere I go God puts someone in my path that "i know". Well, sure enough one of the men I said hello to had that familiar face so I asked his name...Timmy. Did you go to Mccutcheon High School? Yep! He graduated one year after me!!! How funny!!!!!!! So, I told them all that I was praying it went well today and i'd be here if they need anything!
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Taking a Deep Breath is NOT fun!
First and foremost and I have to give praises to God for my dear friend/cousin Tina's surgery going perfectly well today!! Yay! Dr. Sennot was pleased with how smoothly everything went and had no complications. Lord willing, she'll only have to be at the hospital for one night.
Secondly, my trip to the ultrasound room at the Women's Clinic wasn't so pleasant. Let's just keep it vague by saying that the technician had difficulty getting some good pictures of my right ovary which has the dermoid cyst attached to it, thus I spent about 20 minutes of INTENSE interaction with the "probe." You all know what I'm talking about. Yikes! She asked me if I was doing okay and i said with clenched teeth "Just do what you gotta do." The worse part was when she said "Now, take a deep breath and hold it." You all know what that means..... MORE pressure with the dreaded probe!!!!
Onto another topic as I'm sure that one doesn't leave a fun mental picture.....
I'm in love with being home again. I really am. Avry is just growing up before my very eyes and i'm thrilled with the fact that she and I will be home together for another year and a half before she goes to school.
I need some ideas for treat making. Could you please post a comment that includes the recipes for some great Christmas goodies...ie...fudge, cookies, candy, bars- anything! I'm gearing up for some baking!!
K
Secondly, my trip to the ultrasound room at the Women's Clinic wasn't so pleasant. Let's just keep it vague by saying that the technician had difficulty getting some good pictures of my right ovary which has the dermoid cyst attached to it, thus I spent about 20 minutes of INTENSE interaction with the "probe." You all know what I'm talking about. Yikes! She asked me if I was doing okay and i said with clenched teeth "Just do what you gotta do." The worse part was when she said "Now, take a deep breath and hold it." You all know what that means..... MORE pressure with the dreaded probe!!!!
Onto another topic as I'm sure that one doesn't leave a fun mental picture.....
I'm in love with being home again. I really am. Avry is just growing up before my very eyes and i'm thrilled with the fact that she and I will be home together for another year and a half before she goes to school.
I need some ideas for treat making. Could you please post a comment that includes the recipes for some great Christmas goodies...ie...fudge, cookies, candy, bars- anything! I'm gearing up for some baking!!
K
Monday, December 1, 2008
My Appt.
First..I weighed in at 249.8...up a bit, but that is after a delightful indulgence of the Thanksgiving holiday :)
I met with Dr. Summers today who is a general surgeon. He said that we will take a closer look at my colon with a colonoscopy (which will be scheduled soon probably for the end of Dec.). He said that due to my age, he'd like to remove a portion of my colon because he has seen more aggressive forms of diverticulitis in younger patients and strongly believes that I will have more severe bouts with it in the future. He said it is much wiser to do surgery when the colon is not irritated than to wait on another attack and for it to worsen. (BUT, we will decide for sure what will be done once he's looked at my colon!) Some of you have been shocked by this news of surgery and the severity of all of this. I am too! I think that many of us associate diverticulitis with older people who just get a tummy ache when they eat the wrong foods, but it is varies greatly depending on the person and the severity of it. Pockets develop in the colon which are called diverticula and when they get infected and flare up it can be excruciating pain. Some people have just a few "pockets" and others have a large area of the colon that are infested with these pockets...thus the wide range of treatment options for different people. This is pretty serious stuff. I used to roll my eyes at family gatherings when my family would say "Keep granny away from the nuts, peas and corn!" I thought "Big deal! If granny wants to eat it and then get a tummy ache..oh well!" I never in a million years imagined myself having a severe problem with it and surely not having part of my colon taken out!!!! He said I'd be in the hospital for 4-7 days and then resting at home for 2-4 weeks. This is worse than what I had imagined.
I didn't mention that Dr. Summers is an outstanding doctor who has worked with my extended family over the past 5 years and he's a Christian!!!! yay!!!
Then, I headed over to the Women's Clinic to meet Dr. Sam (a newer female doctor there). I had quite a funny experience. The nurse showed me to the room and told me to strip down to just my socks and put on the gown. She instructed that once I was undressed and ready to flip a little red switch. Many of you know about the "little red switch." An odd sense of panic comes over you when you know that you are butt naked in a little office with your hiney exposed out the back of your gown and you are supposed to flip this little red switch which then indicates to the doctor that you are "ready" for her grand entrance. I don't know what my problem was but after I was prepared in my gown, I lunged for the red switch and then quickly jumped up on the table. Thank goodness there were no cameras in there..what a sight that would have been. Oh...but it gets worse.....I'm sitting there waiting and I look down at my legs- ahhhhhhhhhh! How on earth could I have forgotten to shave in the shower????? My legs were beyond the hairy mammoth stage. I knew I had to tell the doctor before she discovered it! So, she came in...we chatted...we laughed...we chatted some more and then I broke the news to her..."Well, I am super embarrassed, but I forgot to shave my legs." She said, "Oh, I thought you were going to say that you were embarrassed because you have your gown on the wrong way." What? What??? Holy smokerooos..sure enough I had the gown all screwed up and she probably was wanting to die laughing from the moment she walked in the room and saw me! Long story..but basically I'm having a pelvic ultrasound tomorrow afternoon and we'll decide how to proceed with this cyst.
Gotta put kids to bed...
good night,
k
I met with Dr. Summers today who is a general surgeon. He said that we will take a closer look at my colon with a colonoscopy (which will be scheduled soon probably for the end of Dec.). He said that due to my age, he'd like to remove a portion of my colon because he has seen more aggressive forms of diverticulitis in younger patients and strongly believes that I will have more severe bouts with it in the future. He said it is much wiser to do surgery when the colon is not irritated than to wait on another attack and for it to worsen. (BUT, we will decide for sure what will be done once he's looked at my colon!) Some of you have been shocked by this news of surgery and the severity of all of this. I am too! I think that many of us associate diverticulitis with older people who just get a tummy ache when they eat the wrong foods, but it is varies greatly depending on the person and the severity of it. Pockets develop in the colon which are called diverticula and when they get infected and flare up it can be excruciating pain. Some people have just a few "pockets" and others have a large area of the colon that are infested with these pockets...thus the wide range of treatment options for different people. This is pretty serious stuff. I used to roll my eyes at family gatherings when my family would say "Keep granny away from the nuts, peas and corn!" I thought "Big deal! If granny wants to eat it and then get a tummy ache..oh well!" I never in a million years imagined myself having a severe problem with it and surely not having part of my colon taken out!!!! He said I'd be in the hospital for 4-7 days and then resting at home for 2-4 weeks. This is worse than what I had imagined.
I didn't mention that Dr. Summers is an outstanding doctor who has worked with my extended family over the past 5 years and he's a Christian!!!! yay!!!
Then, I headed over to the Women's Clinic to meet Dr. Sam (a newer female doctor there). I had quite a funny experience. The nurse showed me to the room and told me to strip down to just my socks and put on the gown. She instructed that once I was undressed and ready to flip a little red switch. Many of you know about the "little red switch." An odd sense of panic comes over you when you know that you are butt naked in a little office with your hiney exposed out the back of your gown and you are supposed to flip this little red switch which then indicates to the doctor that you are "ready" for her grand entrance. I don't know what my problem was but after I was prepared in my gown, I lunged for the red switch and then quickly jumped up on the table. Thank goodness there were no cameras in there..what a sight that would have been. Oh...but it gets worse.....I'm sitting there waiting and I look down at my legs- ahhhhhhhhhh! How on earth could I have forgotten to shave in the shower????? My legs were beyond the hairy mammoth stage. I knew I had to tell the doctor before she discovered it! So, she came in...we chatted...we laughed...we chatted some more and then I broke the news to her..."Well, I am super embarrassed, but I forgot to shave my legs." She said, "Oh, I thought you were going to say that you were embarrassed because you have your gown on the wrong way." What? What??? Holy smokerooos..sure enough I had the gown all screwed up and she probably was wanting to die laughing from the moment she walked in the room and saw me! Long story..but basically I'm having a pelvic ultrasound tomorrow afternoon and we'll decide how to proceed with this cyst.
Gotta put kids to bed...
good night,
k
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Great Sermon!
If you were not at EFC this morning...you must, you must you must listen to pastor randy's sermon. Check www.elstonfamily.org soon and I bet it will be posted on there! If you apply the biblical principles that he spoke of, your life will be changed!
The Proverbs 31 woman...who is she? A godly wife....this is the highest calling that us women have. I've always had a hard time connecting to her...she used to intimidate me. But after this morning- I'm on fire! Pastor Randy hit some hard points this morning that most preachers dread preaching about. People don't like to hear truth because it strikes an uncomfortable cord with most women. I'm more in love with John today than the I can remember!!! Yahoo!!!!
So, I'll be weighing in tomorrow morn!! I'm feeling good about it. Please pray for my 2 doctor's appt. tomorrow. I'll update you tomorrow eve....
Gotta go!
k
The Proverbs 31 woman...who is she? A godly wife....this is the highest calling that us women have. I've always had a hard time connecting to her...she used to intimidate me. But after this morning- I'm on fire! Pastor Randy hit some hard points this morning that most preachers dread preaching about. People don't like to hear truth because it strikes an uncomfortable cord with most women. I'm more in love with John today than the I can remember!!! Yahoo!!!!
So, I'll be weighing in tomorrow morn!! I'm feeling good about it. Please pray for my 2 doctor's appt. tomorrow. I'll update you tomorrow eve....
Gotta go!
k
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Happy Thanksgiving
What a gorgeous Thanksgiving Day that God has provided! I don't know how I have a moment to even write this blog..but I do. We are headed to John's uncle's home in Rochester for the day.
Eight people packed into a Chevy Venture for an hour and fifteen minute drive shall be interesting. The only thing I was responsible to make was homemade dressing and ricecrispy treats! Yay!!!!
There is something about the holidays that motivates me to clean out my van. I feel a breath of fresh air once I've cleared out all the crud and vacuum it. Did I ever tell you that I love to throw away things...I really do. Some people are marked as pack rats..but nope..not me! I love to clean out and minimize.
Gotta load up....have a blessed Thanksgiving day.
I'm thankful today for my husband, children, family and friends. The things that matter most to me are back at the top of my priority list..I am sooooo glad I quit work!
Love ya,
k
Eight people packed into a Chevy Venture for an hour and fifteen minute drive shall be interesting. The only thing I was responsible to make was homemade dressing and ricecrispy treats! Yay!!!!
There is something about the holidays that motivates me to clean out my van. I feel a breath of fresh air once I've cleared out all the crud and vacuum it. Did I ever tell you that I love to throw away things...I really do. Some people are marked as pack rats..but nope..not me! I love to clean out and minimize.
Gotta load up....have a blessed Thanksgiving day.
I'm thankful today for my husband, children, family and friends. The things that matter most to me are back at the top of my priority list..I am sooooo glad I quit work!
Love ya,
k
Monday, November 24, 2008
Watching for Wooing
It's a rootin' tootin' good morning in the Townsend household! The scales gloriously sang to me this morning as I viewed the glorious number of 248.4 (I'm down 5.4 lbs.) Oh my goodness!!! God has been gracious to me over this past week. Also, I've done 5 min. of my 150 min. per week on the cardio. Not much cardio yet for the day..but I'm hoping to get in at least 15 more later today. This is soooooooo such a God thing! On my own- I'm a total loser when it comes to eating healhty and exercising- but God is going to get me through this!
Prayer request- John is making some final decisions on the septic, who we are going to go with to do it and all that. Please pray for amazing wisdom and the finances. Something keeps tugging at me that He's going to provide above and beyond just a loan. Could be wrong, which is fine- but I sure don't want to miss His blessings!
My goals today are to walk carefully and cautiously in submission today. I'm going to drink lots of water and my plan for lunch today at work is beef jerky and some fruit. Have I already told you about the most delicious prepacked LOW sugar apple cinnamon oatmeal packets from Kroger's/Payless? Oh! I love em!! They come 10 in a box for only $1.69 (this is an ongoing sale they seem to have) To die for! You pour it into a bowl, add about 1/4 c. of water and pop it in microwave for 1 min and voila...a healthy hot, high in fiber breakfast. This is a $.17 breakfast...I can even afford to feed my clan this too!!
These past few weeks have been humbling as I've basically fallen apart before your very eyes- health, emotions, stability, etc. But my prayer is that above me you will see an amazing Lord God working in me- putting back together the shattered mess. One of my favorite studies of all time was Brokeness by Nancy Lee DeMoss. She reminds us that being broken is not a one time deal but a day by day process of seeing our desperate need for Christ. It's a good thing to be shattered on a regular basis. This may sound scary to you, but truly- God works the most when we are at our weakest points. I can not be strong on my own- it's impossible. Even as I pour my heart out to you, I hear a lie in the back of my mind that says "Kara, you know you won't stay at this wonderful point forever, so are you sure you want to reveal this 'high' point to your closest friends?" And the answer to that question is "Yep! Sure do!" God calls me to live in the here and now- the past has sucked on so many levels and I can't go back. The future is unknown to me, but God is in control. Whether I lose one more single pound or not- God is still the author of this universe and totally is in love with me. I'm looking forward to some more "wooing" today- can't wait to see what my precious friend Jesus has instore for me today..what blessings, what surprises, what encouragement, what love......I'll be watching...
love you all!
k
Prayer request- John is making some final decisions on the septic, who we are going to go with to do it and all that. Please pray for amazing wisdom and the finances. Something keeps tugging at me that He's going to provide above and beyond just a loan. Could be wrong, which is fine- but I sure don't want to miss His blessings!
My goals today are to walk carefully and cautiously in submission today. I'm going to drink lots of water and my plan for lunch today at work is beef jerky and some fruit. Have I already told you about the most delicious prepacked LOW sugar apple cinnamon oatmeal packets from Kroger's/Payless? Oh! I love em!! They come 10 in a box for only $1.69 (this is an ongoing sale they seem to have) To die for! You pour it into a bowl, add about 1/4 c. of water and pop it in microwave for 1 min and voila...a healthy hot, high in fiber breakfast. This is a $.17 breakfast...I can even afford to feed my clan this too!!
These past few weeks have been humbling as I've basically fallen apart before your very eyes- health, emotions, stability, etc. But my prayer is that above me you will see an amazing Lord God working in me- putting back together the shattered mess. One of my favorite studies of all time was Brokeness by Nancy Lee DeMoss. She reminds us that being broken is not a one time deal but a day by day process of seeing our desperate need for Christ. It's a good thing to be shattered on a regular basis. This may sound scary to you, but truly- God works the most when we are at our weakest points. I can not be strong on my own- it's impossible. Even as I pour my heart out to you, I hear a lie in the back of my mind that says "Kara, you know you won't stay at this wonderful point forever, so are you sure you want to reveal this 'high' point to your closest friends?" And the answer to that question is "Yep! Sure do!" God calls me to live in the here and now- the past has sucked on so many levels and I can't go back. The future is unknown to me, but God is in control. Whether I lose one more single pound or not- God is still the author of this universe and totally is in love with me. I'm looking forward to some more "wooing" today- can't wait to see what my precious friend Jesus has instore for me today..what blessings, what surprises, what encouragement, what love......I'll be watching...
love you all!
k
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Submission and Stitches :)
Hi! Sorry I haven't posted for a few days...all has been great though! I'm actually looking forward
to getting on the scales tomorrow as odd as that may seem. I know I'm down in weight! Hooray!
This weekend has been a blast. My eyes are being opened to what obedience yields. I'm a big believer of prayer and it's power, especially as I walk out a new kind of life with the support of all your prayers. The support has been overwhelming as I've shared with you all our decision for me to come back home as a homemaker. You've embraced me, encouraged me and just loved me right where I am. I have 3 more days of work this week Mon-Wed and I ask for your prayers for open doors to just witness to people-bold, truthful and loving witnessing!!!! God is moving in me and I don't want to miss any of the blessings that He has in store.
I'm being "wooed" by God. I've heard about this "wooing" before and thought it sounded a little out there to be honest! But, as I press on and just claim His goodness and faithfulness, despite my ugliness and sinfulness...the more I am wooed and loved by Him. I know, I know, it doesn't make a lot of sense. I have lived in such dark, desolate and sinful times that I can not wrap my pea sized brain around how or why Jesus would love me. Yah, Yah, you've heard me say this a bazillion times...but seriously, I am one nasty sinner. If you could just take a peak inside my heart and thoughts- you'd see how desperate I am for forgiveness!
Today, some neat things happened at our family group- all of which are blessings from God. I see God working in a new way, a peaceful, joyous way. This all stems 100% from Pastor Randy's recent sermon series on marriage. I think I'm coming to actually love the word "submitt." It's a beautiful word, one defined by pastor as "an intelligent response to God ordained authority." One of the major areas that I battle is with authority, especially my husband's authority. This is quite embarrassing because it's outright disobedience and results in chaoticness! Things have been out of whack for quite sometime in my life (obedience and submission mainly!) Have you ever just stopped and looked at your life to say "How on earth did I get here to this point?"
There's a song that plays on the new movie "Fireproof" called "It's a Slow Fade." How true. How true. From the outside looking in, possibly my life seems alright. I look to be a happy, cheerful, go getter type of gal, able to balance work, family, church, etc pretty decently. I show up faithfully at church Sun and Wed, etc etc. Some of you have even said recently that you were quite shocked by my sudden change of direction. Well, just remember "it's a slow fade." I didn't just wake up one day and say "I think today's the day that I will quit work and flip my whole life a new direction." Nope...it was more of a slow, day by day, drifting away from God, seeking after what I wanted and dreamed for (which was a position in management, better pay and recognition in the work place for accomplishments). The bold evangelistic Kara was slowly fading away into the business world. My main focus and desire became money...making extra money at work through certain products. My real motive of making moola became masked by "I'm here to just help the customers and provide good service" lie that is sooooooo easy to buy into. Who was I fooling? My job did NOT line up with scripture and where my heart is supposed to be- which is home. My thoughts became consumed with advancement and slowly faded away from the Good News of Jesus. Got to go......
p.s. Evan was running around the house like a naughty boy boy and wiped out near the stair, slamming his lip right onto the ledge...he slit the inside of his lip open. Anna told me about this over the phone at the beginning of family group...I figured it was no bid deal since it stopped bleeding and he was fine. But, when we got home and assesed it- major split in the upper inside of the corner of his mouth. The gash was so bad that I was shocked that it wasn't still bleeding. So, John took him to the ER for stitches. He just got home and has 3 stitches in his mouth. John said he was very brave and only said "ouch" one time! What a precious boy!! I just love him!!
K
to getting on the scales tomorrow as odd as that may seem. I know I'm down in weight! Hooray!
This weekend has been a blast. My eyes are being opened to what obedience yields. I'm a big believer of prayer and it's power, especially as I walk out a new kind of life with the support of all your prayers. The support has been overwhelming as I've shared with you all our decision for me to come back home as a homemaker. You've embraced me, encouraged me and just loved me right where I am. I have 3 more days of work this week Mon-Wed and I ask for your prayers for open doors to just witness to people-bold, truthful and loving witnessing!!!! God is moving in me and I don't want to miss any of the blessings that He has in store.
I'm being "wooed" by God. I've heard about this "wooing" before and thought it sounded a little out there to be honest! But, as I press on and just claim His goodness and faithfulness, despite my ugliness and sinfulness...the more I am wooed and loved by Him. I know, I know, it doesn't make a lot of sense. I have lived in such dark, desolate and sinful times that I can not wrap my pea sized brain around how or why Jesus would love me. Yah, Yah, you've heard me say this a bazillion times...but seriously, I am one nasty sinner. If you could just take a peak inside my heart and thoughts- you'd see how desperate I am for forgiveness!
Today, some neat things happened at our family group- all of which are blessings from God. I see God working in a new way, a peaceful, joyous way. This all stems 100% from Pastor Randy's recent sermon series on marriage. I think I'm coming to actually love the word "submitt." It's a beautiful word, one defined by pastor as "an intelligent response to God ordained authority." One of the major areas that I battle is with authority, especially my husband's authority. This is quite embarrassing because it's outright disobedience and results in chaoticness! Things have been out of whack for quite sometime in my life (obedience and submission mainly!) Have you ever just stopped and looked at your life to say "How on earth did I get here to this point?"
There's a song that plays on the new movie "Fireproof" called "It's a Slow Fade." How true. How true. From the outside looking in, possibly my life seems alright. I look to be a happy, cheerful, go getter type of gal, able to balance work, family, church, etc pretty decently. I show up faithfully at church Sun and Wed, etc etc. Some of you have even said recently that you were quite shocked by my sudden change of direction. Well, just remember "it's a slow fade." I didn't just wake up one day and say "I think today's the day that I will quit work and flip my whole life a new direction." Nope...it was more of a slow, day by day, drifting away from God, seeking after what I wanted and dreamed for (which was a position in management, better pay and recognition in the work place for accomplishments). The bold evangelistic Kara was slowly fading away into the business world. My main focus and desire became money...making extra money at work through certain products. My real motive of making moola became masked by "I'm here to just help the customers and provide good service" lie that is sooooooo easy to buy into. Who was I fooling? My job did NOT line up with scripture and where my heart is supposed to be- which is home. My thoughts became consumed with advancement and slowly faded away from the Good News of Jesus. Got to go......
p.s. Evan was running around the house like a naughty boy boy and wiped out near the stair, slamming his lip right onto the ledge...he slit the inside of his lip open. Anna told me about this over the phone at the beginning of family group...I figured it was no bid deal since it stopped bleeding and he was fine. But, when we got home and assesed it- major split in the upper inside of the corner of his mouth. The gash was so bad that I was shocked that it wasn't still bleeding. So, John took him to the ER for stitches. He just got home and has 3 stitches in his mouth. John said he was very brave and only said "ouch" one time! What a precious boy!! I just love him!!
K
Friday, November 21, 2008
Better
Your prayers have been helpful. I'm finally feeling a bit revived. My monthly friend decided to visit and wiped me out yesterday. I slept for 3 hours in the middle of the day- ahhhh...it was a yummy nap! I asked to not go back to work until this next Monday which I'm very relieved about. I can't remember another time in my life when so many stresses came crashing down all at once. Many of you have been worried about me and I know you love me. Thank you.Thank you. Thank you. I wish I could make more sense of myself...but I can't. Thank you for loving me right where I am. I am very, very, very bad about admitting when I'm getting maxed out until finally the volcano just erupted. It's NO ONE's fault for not seeing it coming. I'm just taking it one day at a time and breathing deep breaths again. The problem with me is that I can stay afloat and appear to be just fine...why? because I begin to tune out the big things around me, the kid's fighting and not obeying. I've decided to slow down majorly! Majorly! I'm planning to mass organize things in my home, would love to paint the living room before Christmas, and shampoo the carpets.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Need prayer!
Needing prayer! I've been ill and very overwhelmed...please just pray. I've asked to not go back to work until Monday. I do love God and am seeking after Him. Just trying to keep it real as to where I am and I NEED your prayers for strength, wellness and healthiness. Can't really say anything else right now.....please pray!
k
k
Monday, November 17, 2008
Supreme Winter Health Plan
You'll notice the new look of my blog. I tried to chose a fun cheerful winter look since I know that winter can be a bit depressing at times. But, I strongly believe that God is calling me to a supreme winter health experience. I've decided to start 2 new trackers- one for weight and one for cardiovascular exercise. My goal is a total of 150 min. of cardio per week which is an average of 30 min /5 times per week! I can do this with God's help!!!! You'll notice that my weight tracker is back up a little..but I'm not stressing about that. I plan to weigh in every Monday- HOLD ME ACCOUNTABLE!!!! SERIOUSLY!!!!! I squeezed in just 5 min. of cardio this evening by stepping up and down on our stairs. By the end of that 5 min- whew..i was out of breath. Yes, sad! But true!
I'm going to map out some attainable goals with my life and new direction- #1- ALONE time with God and His Word every day. My plan is to set the alarm for 6 a.m. tomorrow morning, get up and on the treadmill for just 15 min.. Then I want to spend time reading the Bible and choosing a passage to memorize/pray. I then want to play soft Christian music through my computer, start breakfast and at 7 a.m., sweetly wake each child up with a gentle touch. Ahhhhhhh...how peaceful. As soon as the first fight breaks out admist the children, I plan to quietly explain to them what the Bible says about this behavior, give them a warning to choose a better attitude, and then have them reconcile the situation. :)
After they leave for school, I will take Avry to "school"/church daycare! Friday will be her last day and then i plan to see if mom or A. Robin can watch her Mon, Tues, and Wed. of next week (during the day only). Once I return home from taking her, I plan to crank the music and get pumping around this house! Oh Lord, please give me a new vision for my home. I want to get back into that decorating on a dime mode, do some painting soon, and clean the carpets! Mom offered to lend me her carpet shampooer which is cool! But for tomorrow, just focus on putting folded laundry away, cleaning up the cat litter area and there's this spot of blue paint on the floor that his been driving me nuts- I think i actually will get a wet rag and clean it up tomorrow :)
Shockingly, all of the kid's bedrooms are pretty clean right now and there's nothing on the floor (except Anna's room, which she's going to work on). I plan to call john at work and brighten his day somehow, along with getting a top priority from him for my day. i will head to work in the afternoon.
Oh..my...I have not even updated you on the septic system! The Lord prompted my aunt to offer to loan us the money. Hallalujah!!!! So, we contacted the original 2 companies that we had estimates from. Numbers were still looking steep. As we went to bed last night, the phone rang and it was a different uncle wanting to razz John about not knowing that we were having septic issues! He said that we needed to call Jerry Beck who does a phenomenal job in this field and would be more reasonable. He's coming tomorrow to give us an estimate......I think God's fixin' to do something big here...PLEASE continue to pray!!!! I've never been so excited over such a "poopy" topic :) teeheeeeeee!
Off I go to make more lists! Goodnight friends! You'll be hearing from me on this blog on a consistent basis now that my life is going to get refocused!
love ya,
k
I'm going to map out some attainable goals with my life and new direction- #1- ALONE time with God and His Word every day. My plan is to set the alarm for 6 a.m. tomorrow morning, get up and on the treadmill for just 15 min.. Then I want to spend time reading the Bible and choosing a passage to memorize/pray. I then want to play soft Christian music through my computer, start breakfast and at 7 a.m., sweetly wake each child up with a gentle touch. Ahhhhhhh...how peaceful. As soon as the first fight breaks out admist the children, I plan to quietly explain to them what the Bible says about this behavior, give them a warning to choose a better attitude, and then have them reconcile the situation. :)
After they leave for school, I will take Avry to "school"/church daycare! Friday will be her last day and then i plan to see if mom or A. Robin can watch her Mon, Tues, and Wed. of next week (during the day only). Once I return home from taking her, I plan to crank the music and get pumping around this house! Oh Lord, please give me a new vision for my home. I want to get back into that decorating on a dime mode, do some painting soon, and clean the carpets! Mom offered to lend me her carpet shampooer which is cool! But for tomorrow, just focus on putting folded laundry away, cleaning up the cat litter area and there's this spot of blue paint on the floor that his been driving me nuts- I think i actually will get a wet rag and clean it up tomorrow :)
Shockingly, all of the kid's bedrooms are pretty clean right now and there's nothing on the floor (except Anna's room, which she's going to work on). I plan to call john at work and brighten his day somehow, along with getting a top priority from him for my day. i will head to work in the afternoon.
Oh..my...I have not even updated you on the septic system! The Lord prompted my aunt to offer to loan us the money. Hallalujah!!!! So, we contacted the original 2 companies that we had estimates from. Numbers were still looking steep. As we went to bed last night, the phone rang and it was a different uncle wanting to razz John about not knowing that we were having septic issues! He said that we needed to call Jerry Beck who does a phenomenal job in this field and would be more reasonable. He's coming tomorrow to give us an estimate......I think God's fixin' to do something big here...PLEASE continue to pray!!!! I've never been so excited over such a "poopy" topic :) teeheeeeeee!
Off I go to make more lists! Goodnight friends! You'll be hearing from me on this blog on a consistent basis now that my life is going to get refocused!
love ya,
k
Sunday, November 16, 2008
NEWS!!!
Oh dear friends!
Today is a freeing and glorious day. The Lord has directed John to be the sole provider for our family again and for me to resign.
Here's a copy of what I sent to my wonderful employer:
Management staff, whom I consider my new friends:
After much prayer and thought, John and I have come to the decision that I should devote all of my time and energy back to being a stay at home mom. As much as I do love my job and working with all of you, it’s producing some unforeseen challenges that are not worth any amount of money. I can not thank you all enough for everything you’ve taught me and your willingness to be flexible. Walgreens is an extremely reputable company whom I have been honored to work for. I know this comes as a shock to all of you since I’ve been motivated to move up towards management. However, I'm learning to not worry about what other's will think of me and put God first- this will always bring the peace that surpasses all understanding. My eyes have suddenly become open to a bigger picture, and I have to embrace it and do what’s best for my family.
We’d like for my last day of work to be Wednesday, Nov. 26th or as soon as you can fill my shifts. I'm in bed again today with another colon attack...no fun. I'm still planning to work tomorrow though unless things worsen.
I'm mean this from the depth of my soul...you ALL have been amazing to work with and I consider you my new friends.
Thank you,
Kara Townsendp.s..Betty, please do NOT think this has anything to do with our conversation of Friday. This has been on my heart for sometime and it just came to a head over the weekend through John's wisdom! :) I care for you all!
The crazy thing about life is that you feel like such a fool when you repeat the same mistake twice. I KNOW 100% that God has called me to NOT work. Eight years ago, I heard Him and resigned from my job, stayed at home for about 3 years, then dove into Pampered Chef for 3 years and heard God speak again. So, I resigned. Then, here I am again. Can I say 100% for sure that I was supposed to go back to work any of these times......no. However, God did use them to bring some precious friends into my life and worked it all for His glory!
Let me just say, that if you were not at EFC this morning, I strongly strongly encourage you to listen to the sermon online at www.elstonfamily.org (It may take the person who posts them a couple of days to get it on there) Pastor Randy's sermon confirmed exactly what John and I decided last night. I giggled all through the sermon because it felt as though pastor had been present during our conversation last night although he wasn't :)
That's God for ya...always doing miraculous things. I must admitt that I didn't really think He'd release me so soon from my job. Yet, I'm called to just obey. It's not my job to please man but to instead please God :) This is very freeing!
To ALL of you who read this blog- your prayers have mattered greatly. I know many of you went to our heavenly Father in prayer on my behalf and begged Him to reveal himself. He did. He has spoken and we have peace.
In a sick kinda way, it's rather funny that I'm in bed right at this minute with another colon attack. But don't worry- God is on the throne and I will be fine with Him by my side.
The passion in me is quickly reigniting and I feel close to Him, close to John and close to my children. This is what counts!
He is holy, holy, holy, holy, holy, holy, holy. He is Lord God Almighty. The Bible is truth and obeying it will set us free. I'm very pumped about He will take me from this point forward.
The glow on my children's faces today when we told them was enough to melt my heart.
I love you all,
K
Today is a freeing and glorious day. The Lord has directed John to be the sole provider for our family again and for me to resign.
Here's a copy of what I sent to my wonderful employer:
Management staff, whom I consider my new friends:
After much prayer and thought, John and I have come to the decision that I should devote all of my time and energy back to being a stay at home mom. As much as I do love my job and working with all of you, it’s producing some unforeseen challenges that are not worth any amount of money. I can not thank you all enough for everything you’ve taught me and your willingness to be flexible. Walgreens is an extremely reputable company whom I have been honored to work for. I know this comes as a shock to all of you since I’ve been motivated to move up towards management. However, I'm learning to not worry about what other's will think of me and put God first- this will always bring the peace that surpasses all understanding. My eyes have suddenly become open to a bigger picture, and I have to embrace it and do what’s best for my family.
We’d like for my last day of work to be Wednesday, Nov. 26th or as soon as you can fill my shifts. I'm in bed again today with another colon attack...no fun. I'm still planning to work tomorrow though unless things worsen.
I'm mean this from the depth of my soul...you ALL have been amazing to work with and I consider you my new friends.
Thank you,
Kara Townsendp.s..Betty, please do NOT think this has anything to do with our conversation of Friday. This has been on my heart for sometime and it just came to a head over the weekend through John's wisdom! :) I care for you all!
The crazy thing about life is that you feel like such a fool when you repeat the same mistake twice. I KNOW 100% that God has called me to NOT work. Eight years ago, I heard Him and resigned from my job, stayed at home for about 3 years, then dove into Pampered Chef for 3 years and heard God speak again. So, I resigned. Then, here I am again. Can I say 100% for sure that I was supposed to go back to work any of these times......no. However, God did use them to bring some precious friends into my life and worked it all for His glory!
Let me just say, that if you were not at EFC this morning, I strongly strongly encourage you to listen to the sermon online at www.elstonfamily.org (It may take the person who posts them a couple of days to get it on there) Pastor Randy's sermon confirmed exactly what John and I decided last night. I giggled all through the sermon because it felt as though pastor had been present during our conversation last night although he wasn't :)
That's God for ya...always doing miraculous things. I must admitt that I didn't really think He'd release me so soon from my job. Yet, I'm called to just obey. It's not my job to please man but to instead please God :) This is very freeing!
To ALL of you who read this blog- your prayers have mattered greatly. I know many of you went to our heavenly Father in prayer on my behalf and begged Him to reveal himself. He did. He has spoken and we have peace.
In a sick kinda way, it's rather funny that I'm in bed right at this minute with another colon attack. But don't worry- God is on the throne and I will be fine with Him by my side.
The passion in me is quickly reigniting and I feel close to Him, close to John and close to my children. This is what counts!
He is holy, holy, holy, holy, holy, holy, holy. He is Lord God Almighty. The Bible is truth and obeying it will set us free. I'm very pumped about He will take me from this point forward.
The glow on my children's faces today when we told them was enough to melt my heart.
I love you all,
K
Friday, November 14, 2008
Crossroads
It's been a while....much has happened though. First, let me start by saying that God is amazing and undeniably REAL! Many of you know that, but isn't it fun when he just shows up and takes your breath away. A peace overcomes you that is unsurmountable? (i may have made up that word) I love many things about God...but one thing that always gives me comfort is that He never changes- his Word is unwavering; He is constantly wanting to bring me into a closer relationship with Him regardless of how badly I screw up. That's just cool! What a friend we have in Jesus. (That's an old hymn ya know)
So here are the facts of my life that are ringing very loud and clear-
My number one goal in life is to bring honor and glory to HIM through being a tool in HIS hands.
How that translates is of course first by being a godly wife. Secondly, I am to be a godly mother. I'm also to take my health VERY seriously. I am called to be a wise steward of money and time. These are at the top of my list...so you get the jist of things.
Most things in my life right now do NOT truly support these major priorities. I am swamped, overwhelmed and just plain and simply can not keep up. My memory is starting to slip...like in weird ways. My job is fine, but it's only for the money. Yah, I do get to be a light in the dark world which is great...but I hear God whispering, "Don't go light the world and leave your home dark. You are missing the point Kara." By the way, if you know me at all, you know I hate to admit all of this...it's that ugly pride thing! I'm physically tired, emotionally drained and just plain sick of it. I'm in survival mode. Many of you are thinking right now, "I'm close to Kara and I had NO idea this is where she was." Please don't feel bad...it because I've been in denial and sugarcoat it.
My health has GREATLY went down hill since I began working. I had the bigeebers (a word that i made up) scared out of me yesterday at the doctor's office when she told me that she's referring me to a surgeon because she thinks that possibly the diseased portion of my colon needs to be removed. I'm too young to have this extensive of diverticulitis. I'm scared to death of having part of my colon removed- NO WAY HOSEA!!!! She also informed me of an "umbilical hernia" that was noticed on my CT scan. Gee....colon, hernia, dermoid cyst on the ovary- it just keeps growing. This is really all on top of me being pre-diabetic, high cholestrol and 120 lbs OVERweight! Also, I'm actually further from His will concerning money now that I make more money. It's true..so true..the more you make, the more you spend. Oh, how I HATE to admitt this. No, I really HATE to admitt it!
I'm too the point of crying out to God and begging Him to just show John and I the way...the way back to HIM! I hate this place and I want to be close to Him again. I want to be that gazelle on the treadmill. I want to be healthy and fit. I want to be energetic and take care of my family and household. I do. I do.
Here's my prayer.....
"Oh, Lord- hear my desperate cry to PLEASE be delivered and healed from this sickness and unhealthy living. I'm out of control. Period. I am out of control and I need to be brought back under your headship. Break me Lord, break me. I don't like to be broken and humble because I'm selfish. I fear what others will think of me- my wavering up and down kind of personality. This is wrong, God..I know it! I just want to seek after you alone and not care what others may think or say. I will be spending eternity with YOU and will hold an account to you for my actions here on earth. I hear you reminding me how few days I have left to make the strong impact on my children that you want me to make. I hear you. I do hear you. I am sorry for ignoring you.
The world is sucking me dry and I need to be replenished with your living water. Please, please oh God- give me a drink from the well of life. Take me to a new level of living out faith in you. Help me to walk in that NEW life that your word promises. I'm sick of this old life and old ways that are yielding no fruit. Make my every action, word and thought be purposeful to advancing your kingdom. Right now... I am far from you and I'm running hard back towards your arms. Thank you for opening your arms and just embracing me and every bit of disgust that I bring to you. Help me oh Lord, to embrace others in the same manner and to speak hope, life and peace into their lives. I want to be all that you are wanting...but I can NOT do it on my own. I need your spirit to empower me. So, Lord I recieve that empowerment right this minute! I'm done being wishy washy. I've been sucked dry recently to the point of not wanting to evangelize, not wanting to invite anyone to church, not wanting to read the Bible. This is all wrong and I take complete responsibility for poor choices. Thank you, that you promise to forgive me and cleanse me of all unrighteousness as I confess these things to you. Life is flashing before my very eyes and I'm scared to death to not be close to you! I hate this place and refuse to stay here any longer. So, God I'm willing....please make me able. I've come to these crossroads and I wait here for you to move. I love you God...i really do! Amen!"
Please pray for John and I to have discernment and wisdom. I refuse to waste time contemplating whether I should or should not have went back to work. I don't know for sure. But I do know that right NOW I'm whole heartedly begging God to show me what to do from here forward. I can think of many pros to working and I can think of a huge list of cons. The biggest problem right now is that my cons are hurting my top priorities in life. This is scary.
Friends, God is good and we must just wait on Him to speak and guide us. I tend to jump the gun so to speak ( I know, I know...shocker! Teeheee!!)
Waiting on Him,
k
So here are the facts of my life that are ringing very loud and clear-
My number one goal in life is to bring honor and glory to HIM through being a tool in HIS hands.
How that translates is of course first by being a godly wife. Secondly, I am to be a godly mother. I'm also to take my health VERY seriously. I am called to be a wise steward of money and time. These are at the top of my list...so you get the jist of things.
Most things in my life right now do NOT truly support these major priorities. I am swamped, overwhelmed and just plain and simply can not keep up. My memory is starting to slip...like in weird ways. My job is fine, but it's only for the money. Yah, I do get to be a light in the dark world which is great...but I hear God whispering, "Don't go light the world and leave your home dark. You are missing the point Kara." By the way, if you know me at all, you know I hate to admit all of this...it's that ugly pride thing! I'm physically tired, emotionally drained and just plain sick of it. I'm in survival mode. Many of you are thinking right now, "I'm close to Kara and I had NO idea this is where she was." Please don't feel bad...it because I've been in denial and sugarcoat it.
My health has GREATLY went down hill since I began working. I had the bigeebers (a word that i made up) scared out of me yesterday at the doctor's office when she told me that she's referring me to a surgeon because she thinks that possibly the diseased portion of my colon needs to be removed. I'm too young to have this extensive of diverticulitis. I'm scared to death of having part of my colon removed- NO WAY HOSEA!!!! She also informed me of an "umbilical hernia" that was noticed on my CT scan. Gee....colon, hernia, dermoid cyst on the ovary- it just keeps growing. This is really all on top of me being pre-diabetic, high cholestrol and 120 lbs OVERweight! Also, I'm actually further from His will concerning money now that I make more money. It's true..so true..the more you make, the more you spend. Oh, how I HATE to admitt this. No, I really HATE to admitt it!
I'm too the point of crying out to God and begging Him to just show John and I the way...the way back to HIM! I hate this place and I want to be close to Him again. I want to be that gazelle on the treadmill. I want to be healthy and fit. I want to be energetic and take care of my family and household. I do. I do.
Here's my prayer.....
"Oh, Lord- hear my desperate cry to PLEASE be delivered and healed from this sickness and unhealthy living. I'm out of control. Period. I am out of control and I need to be brought back under your headship. Break me Lord, break me. I don't like to be broken and humble because I'm selfish. I fear what others will think of me- my wavering up and down kind of personality. This is wrong, God..I know it! I just want to seek after you alone and not care what others may think or say. I will be spending eternity with YOU and will hold an account to you for my actions here on earth. I hear you reminding me how few days I have left to make the strong impact on my children that you want me to make. I hear you. I do hear you. I am sorry for ignoring you.
The world is sucking me dry and I need to be replenished with your living water. Please, please oh God- give me a drink from the well of life. Take me to a new level of living out faith in you. Help me to walk in that NEW life that your word promises. I'm sick of this old life and old ways that are yielding no fruit. Make my every action, word and thought be purposeful to advancing your kingdom. Right now... I am far from you and I'm running hard back towards your arms. Thank you for opening your arms and just embracing me and every bit of disgust that I bring to you. Help me oh Lord, to embrace others in the same manner and to speak hope, life and peace into their lives. I want to be all that you are wanting...but I can NOT do it on my own. I need your spirit to empower me. So, Lord I recieve that empowerment right this minute! I'm done being wishy washy. I've been sucked dry recently to the point of not wanting to evangelize, not wanting to invite anyone to church, not wanting to read the Bible. This is all wrong and I take complete responsibility for poor choices. Thank you, that you promise to forgive me and cleanse me of all unrighteousness as I confess these things to you. Life is flashing before my very eyes and I'm scared to death to not be close to you! I hate this place and refuse to stay here any longer. So, God I'm willing....please make me able. I've come to these crossroads and I wait here for you to move. I love you God...i really do! Amen!"
Please pray for John and I to have discernment and wisdom. I refuse to waste time contemplating whether I should or should not have went back to work. I don't know for sure. But I do know that right NOW I'm whole heartedly begging God to show me what to do from here forward. I can think of many pros to working and I can think of a huge list of cons. The biggest problem right now is that my cons are hurting my top priorities in life. This is scary.
Friends, God is good and we must just wait on Him to speak and guide us. I tend to jump the gun so to speak ( I know, I know...shocker! Teeheee!!)
Waiting on Him,
k
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Babied
I hate to admitt that I'm enjoying getting babied by my dear hubby.. I start to feel guilty and try to get up and do something light. He quickly puts me in my place...the chair :) I'm quite touched! The kids are enjoying time with family, but my Nay Nay and Emma Lynn will be home in a bit after a gourmet dinner out at "Denny's" restaraunt with Granny and Gramps.
Thank you all for your prayers and calls. It means a lot to know that I'm loved. I seriously think that I have the bestest friends in the whole wide world!!!! I'm better and can feel the effects of the meds- praise God. Cranapple juice has been delicious over crushed ice...there's just something about crushed ice! Yummy!
By the way, there is something wrong with our home phone right now, so call John's cell if you need me.
My colon is well rested and I'm rearing to go for tomorrow's great worship service.
k
Thank you all for your prayers and calls. It means a lot to know that I'm loved. I seriously think that I have the bestest friends in the whole wide world!!!! I'm better and can feel the effects of the meds- praise God. Cranapple juice has been delicious over crushed ice...there's just something about crushed ice! Yummy!
By the way, there is something wrong with our home phone right now, so call John's cell if you need me.
My colon is well rested and I'm rearing to go for tomorrow's great worship service.
k
Friday, November 7, 2008
Me
Hello friends,
Just a quick update on me. Beginning on Tuesday, I have experienced sharp pain in my lower left quadrin abdominal area. It remained consistent through Thursday. My doctor is Carolyn Cooper and I love her! However she did not have any available openings. So, they set me up to see a newer doctor from her office, Dr. Butt. Yes, you did read that correctly with a correct spelling :) Dr. Butt felt around on my lower abdomen and I quickly informed her of the tender and painful area. She quoted a few things for the nurse to jot down and then she said out loud "Hmmmm..what do I want to do? A CT scan or an ultrasound...CT or ultrasound." As she was saying this I closed my eyes and prayed that the Lord's wisdom would be given to her. She spat out "CT scan." They called over to Home Hospital and immediately got me in.
The fun began! I had to sip on this NASTY, horrible bitter crystal light lemonade liquid for an hour. Then, I waited for another hour for this liquid to process in my system. My dear friend Amy whom some of you have met at a couple of our Bible studies sat with me and entertained me. After the CT scan i waited another hour at the hospital for the results. I spoke with the doctor who interpreted the CT scan for me.
Much to my surprise, I have diverticulitis, which is when pockets that devolop in the colon get infected or inflamed causing severe pain. This is extremely rare in someone of my age. Usually, people that are at least 50 or older get this. The Dr. offered to hospitalize me for treatment if I thought the pain was bad enough, but I opted to deal with it at home. So, he prescribed antibiotics and rest. So, I took today off of work per his orders and thank the good Lord, I'm already scheduled to be off this weekend. John so kindly called his lietunant and requested to take today and tomorrow off! Yay! He woke up cheerfully this morning to get the kids on the bus and Avry off to school. Then, he went grocery shopping and loaded up! What a sweetie! I love this man more than words.
While he was on his adventure, my doctor's office called to update me on Dr. Cooper's review of my CT scan. The nurse explained to me that Dr. Cooper is very concerned with the extensiveness of the diverticulitis, especially in someone my age. Also, she found a dermoid cyst on my right ovary that will need to be removed. Oh joy! Dr. Cooper wants to see me next Thurs. for a follow up and we'll discuss all the details and she'd like to schedule a colonoscopy- more fun!
So, please pray! God is the almighty healer!!!!
Gotta run..not really run..but go :)
k
Just a quick update on me. Beginning on Tuesday, I have experienced sharp pain in my lower left quadrin abdominal area. It remained consistent through Thursday. My doctor is Carolyn Cooper and I love her! However she did not have any available openings. So, they set me up to see a newer doctor from her office, Dr. Butt. Yes, you did read that correctly with a correct spelling :) Dr. Butt felt around on my lower abdomen and I quickly informed her of the tender and painful area. She quoted a few things for the nurse to jot down and then she said out loud "Hmmmm..what do I want to do? A CT scan or an ultrasound...CT or ultrasound." As she was saying this I closed my eyes and prayed that the Lord's wisdom would be given to her. She spat out "CT scan." They called over to Home Hospital and immediately got me in.
The fun began! I had to sip on this NASTY, horrible bitter crystal light lemonade liquid for an hour. Then, I waited for another hour for this liquid to process in my system. My dear friend Amy whom some of you have met at a couple of our Bible studies sat with me and entertained me. After the CT scan i waited another hour at the hospital for the results. I spoke with the doctor who interpreted the CT scan for me.
Much to my surprise, I have diverticulitis, which is when pockets that devolop in the colon get infected or inflamed causing severe pain. This is extremely rare in someone of my age. Usually, people that are at least 50 or older get this. The Dr. offered to hospitalize me for treatment if I thought the pain was bad enough, but I opted to deal with it at home. So, he prescribed antibiotics and rest. So, I took today off of work per his orders and thank the good Lord, I'm already scheduled to be off this weekend. John so kindly called his lietunant and requested to take today and tomorrow off! Yay! He woke up cheerfully this morning to get the kids on the bus and Avry off to school. Then, he went grocery shopping and loaded up! What a sweetie! I love this man more than words.
While he was on his adventure, my doctor's office called to update me on Dr. Cooper's review of my CT scan. The nurse explained to me that Dr. Cooper is very concerned with the extensiveness of the diverticulitis, especially in someone my age. Also, she found a dermoid cyst on my right ovary that will need to be removed. Oh joy! Dr. Cooper wants to see me next Thurs. for a follow up and we'll discuss all the details and she'd like to schedule a colonoscopy- more fun!
So, please pray! God is the almighty healer!!!!
Gotta run..not really run..but go :)
k
Friday, October 31, 2008
Fresh Look
I needed a boost so i gave my blog a face lift :) God is doing a good work right now in many areas of my life. The coolest has been that I've found a new love for spending alone time with God. My latest "date" with God exceeded any expectation that i could've had. It was deep. It was quiet. It was interesting. It was fulfilling. It was delightful. My goal for this next week is to not be afraid to schedule in alone time for just me and Him.
Parenting six children continues to grow me in my likeness of Christ! Six kids with six different personalities, six different needs, likes, dislikes, arguing styles, attitudes...ect! I think my only hope is stay a moldable piece of clay in God's hands. I'm enjoying many aspects of their lives. They are truly remarkable and I'm blessed beyond measure!!!!
I must go...gotta sleep!
k
Parenting six children continues to grow me in my likeness of Christ! Six kids with six different personalities, six different needs, likes, dislikes, arguing styles, attitudes...ect! I think my only hope is stay a moldable piece of clay in God's hands. I'm enjoying many aspects of their lives. They are truly remarkable and I'm blessed beyond measure!!!!
I must go...gotta sleep!
k
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Happy Birthday to Renay!!!!
Happy, Happy Birthday to my precious friend Renay! She's 30 something and pregnant
with her 4th little blessing of joy, which I am convinced is a girl!!
I need to take this moment and totally gloat on my friend because she is working her little
hiney off, balancing a family, household duties, church, demanding friends such as myself who begin to stalk her when they don't get a returned phone call- she is amazing! Go Renay, Go!!!!
I am truly proud of her as I can't imagine what it must be like to work night shift and be pregnant!!!!
You all know the story of how we met, but I'll tell it again. Renay first came into my life at a gym- hmmmmm...wonder what God is trying to say there? teeheee! I thought she looked like my long lost cousin named Becky, but I quickly found out that she was not. She was like the exercise queen of the universe and barely answered my question as she huffed and puffed on the eliptical (i think). Then, about a year later- there she was again as my nurse with delivering Evan. She came on shift about 30 min. before Evan made his grand appearance by jumping out into the other nurse's hands...the Dr. came in quickly after! I still remember her gentle, kind caring attitude as she helped me get from the delivery bed to a wheel chair. She even wheeled me by the nursery to see Evan :) Then, she dissappeared again for another year and then voila...there she was again! Man, God is cool! So, I ended up doing a Pampered Chef show with her as the consultant and I became the bestest recruit she had ever had!! teeeheeeee! We soared in Pampered Chef together for 3 years. Imagine 3 years of your life spent talking to someone at LEAST once a day...more like 4 times/day min!!! And now...... no more Pampered Chef, no more Kara having babies, no more exercise (sad), but the binding glue is GOD! Our friendship is precious to me. I love the fact that I can call her and be completely nuts, crazy, happy, sad, up, or down and she listens, she cares and she loves me. God has an awesome purpose for our friendship and I'm still in awe how he brought her in and out of my life over a period of about 3 years before we ever really connected...now that's a total God thing!!!!!
Today, Renay, I wish you the happiest of birthdays. But above happiness, I wish you peace. May you rest and be peaceful in the fact the God is on the throne and is doing great and wonderful things through your willingness to serve Him! Stay strong my friend.
I love you!
K
with her 4th little blessing of joy, which I am convinced is a girl!!
I need to take this moment and totally gloat on my friend because she is working her little
hiney off, balancing a family, household duties, church, demanding friends such as myself who begin to stalk her when they don't get a returned phone call- she is amazing! Go Renay, Go!!!!
I am truly proud of her as I can't imagine what it must be like to work night shift and be pregnant!!!!
You all know the story of how we met, but I'll tell it again. Renay first came into my life at a gym- hmmmmm...wonder what God is trying to say there? teeheee! I thought she looked like my long lost cousin named Becky, but I quickly found out that she was not. She was like the exercise queen of the universe and barely answered my question as she huffed and puffed on the eliptical (i think). Then, about a year later- there she was again as my nurse with delivering Evan. She came on shift about 30 min. before Evan made his grand appearance by jumping out into the other nurse's hands...the Dr. came in quickly after! I still remember her gentle, kind caring attitude as she helped me get from the delivery bed to a wheel chair. She even wheeled me by the nursery to see Evan :) Then, she dissappeared again for another year and then voila...there she was again! Man, God is cool! So, I ended up doing a Pampered Chef show with her as the consultant and I became the bestest recruit she had ever had!! teeeheeeee! We soared in Pampered Chef together for 3 years. Imagine 3 years of your life spent talking to someone at LEAST once a day...more like 4 times/day min!!! And now...... no more Pampered Chef, no more Kara having babies, no more exercise (sad), but the binding glue is GOD! Our friendship is precious to me. I love the fact that I can call her and be completely nuts, crazy, happy, sad, up, or down and she listens, she cares and she loves me. God has an awesome purpose for our friendship and I'm still in awe how he brought her in and out of my life over a period of about 3 years before we ever really connected...now that's a total God thing!!!!!
Today, Renay, I wish you the happiest of birthdays. But above happiness, I wish you peace. May you rest and be peaceful in the fact the God is on the throne and is doing great and wonderful things through your willingness to serve Him! Stay strong my friend.
I love you!
K
Monday, October 20, 2008
Struggling....
Thank you for your thoughts and concerns over my last post. It's been a difficult road and a lot of self inflicted guilt...but God keeps reminding me that He is bigger than all of this. I've screwed up in many ways as a parent and am constantly trying to lean on Him, but man is it tough not to get swallowed up in the guilt of seeing my own child struggle with something that she's learned from me. This is hard.
To God be the glory as Anna has become quite determined to eat healthier. She's lost 10 lbs and seems to be very happy. As we approach winter, I'm concerned about what exactly we all should do to stay active. I would love to get a membership to Faith Community Center...we'll see.
I'm a bit down overall. I'm struggling with obedience and discipline. I beg for your prayers as my heart and spirit do truly want to please God, but I'm being selfish and disobedient- I hate it!
I must go and do a bit of laundry!
My eating has been a 3 on a scale from 1 to 10! Ughhhhhhhh, but I have to remember that I can do this!!! I can do all things through Christ whom strengthens me!!!!
Pray for Anna's team as tonight they will be playing in the county championship game at Wainwright. They play against East Tipp.!!! She loves volleyball, which is so like me!!!
k
To God be the glory as Anna has become quite determined to eat healthier. She's lost 10 lbs and seems to be very happy. As we approach winter, I'm concerned about what exactly we all should do to stay active. I would love to get a membership to Faith Community Center...we'll see.
I'm a bit down overall. I'm struggling with obedience and discipline. I beg for your prayers as my heart and spirit do truly want to please God, but I'm being selfish and disobedient- I hate it!
I must go and do a bit of laundry!
My eating has been a 3 on a scale from 1 to 10! Ughhhhhhhh, but I have to remember that I can do this!!! I can do all things through Christ whom strengthens me!!!!
Pray for Anna's team as tonight they will be playing in the county championship game at Wainwright. They play against East Tipp.!!! She loves volleyball, which is so like me!!!
k
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Pre-diabetes
Do you ever hate sounding like a broken record? Repeating and repeating and repeating the same thing over and over and over again! I'm posting this to ask for prayer- serious prayer.
I'm going to battle and I need you all 100% behind me. I'm fighting for not only my health but now for daughter's also. We just found out the Anna is in the pre-diabetes stage just like me. I hate it. I hate it. I hate. I want to sit and cry and say how it's all my fault. Waa, waaa, waaa, poor me. I am not going to sit here and whine. I need to get off my rump and do something. I don't even know what to say right now...please prayer.
I'm gonna put my weight tracker back up...it fell off because I hadn't updated it for so long. I'm still stuck at 4 lbs. above my lowest weight this summer. It's all about choices...choices to eat healthy, exercise, live healthily and balanced. I could write a book on all the info. that I know. But knowing it and doing it are 2 different things. Pray that I have God's power to keep fighting. I feel weak. Pray for Anna to not become rebellious and hide her eating (which is what I used to do). Pray that the generational curse is broken and shattered forever.
I go in tomorrow morning for bloodwork to check my cholestrol....and have an appt. with Dr. Cooper the following Thurs. to review results and where I am in all this.
Love you all,
k
I'm going to battle and I need you all 100% behind me. I'm fighting for not only my health but now for daughter's also. We just found out the Anna is in the pre-diabetes stage just like me. I hate it. I hate it. I hate. I want to sit and cry and say how it's all my fault. Waa, waaa, waaa, poor me. I am not going to sit here and whine. I need to get off my rump and do something. I don't even know what to say right now...please prayer.
I'm gonna put my weight tracker back up...it fell off because I hadn't updated it for so long. I'm still stuck at 4 lbs. above my lowest weight this summer. It's all about choices...choices to eat healthy, exercise, live healthily and balanced. I could write a book on all the info. that I know. But knowing it and doing it are 2 different things. Pray that I have God's power to keep fighting. I feel weak. Pray for Anna to not become rebellious and hide her eating (which is what I used to do). Pray that the generational curse is broken and shattered forever.
I go in tomorrow morning for bloodwork to check my cholestrol....and have an appt. with Dr. Cooper the following Thurs. to review results and where I am in all this.
Love you all,
k
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Sick of Me
Have you ever been just plain sick of yourself? Well, I am sick of me. I really do want Christ to just come and fill me up and I'd like to hide behind Him. I feel like I'm sticking out like a sore thumb. Everything about me is a bit off today. Even my boobs don't feel right. LOL!! Okay, okay, TMI (too much info.) I know, I know! Some of you hate the word BOOBS...sorry.....I'll call them breasts- the appropriate word for this body part area. There must be a sense of affection to this weird word because you may not believe me or believe that anyone would nickname another human being "Boob"...but it's true. My dad's nickname is Boob. His brothers and dad call him this. Now, growing up, I thought it was just normal. However, now as an adult, I'm thinking it's a bit odd. By the way, if you are trying to imagine what my dad's real name is and you are trying to figure out how "Boob" could be a closely related word.....don't try. It makes NO sense. His name is Bruce. Bruce....Boob??? What????
Hmmmm...that bunny trail got me in a better mood. See, how crazy I am? When I first started typing this I hated everything about me and now I'm laughing over the fact that my dad's nickname is Boob.
I truly do struggle with PMS and I fight against the spirit of naughty hormones. Tonight, a horrible spirit of jealousy flooded over me, through me, around me (yes, I allowed it) as John mentioned losing weight and that he wasn't going to eat a bowl of cereal even though he was hungry. I cringed. What on earth is wrong with me???? I hate my flesh- I literally was in a foul mood for about 30 min. and wouldn't make polite conversation with my poor hubby as I wallered in the "poor me" thought process. "Why am I not the one losing weight right now?" "Why is he bragging about his success?" Evil, evil thoughts came over me. I've ruined the whole evening of "what could've beens" with my nastiness. YUCKO!!! I couldn't even say "Great job honey. I'm so proud of you!" I muttered unkind things under my breath instead. To make myself "feel better" I jumped up and went and made some good ole fried eggs and toast. (I leave the yolks runny, but whites done so that I can dip the toast in the yolk!!!) I didn't say another word to him and just had a love affair with the plate of food. All of these strange comforting hormones were released as I almost spoke outloud to the food and told it how much I loved it. I thanked it for not talking back to me and for "just being there." Then, I heard God say "I want to be food to you. I want to be your everything." YIKES!!!!!! I know, I know, I know! I hate when I know something and don't do it...it ends up being that yucky word...."SIN."
To top off my entire evening, I then had a nice little spiritual battle with the great deceiver...yes...the enemy. He tried to convince me that I was just a big fake and that I sure do a good job of walking through all the motions of being a so called Christian...but "if they only knew the real me......." SHUT UP satan!!!!!! Ha!! Ha!!! Notice that I used a small lowercase "s" when typing satan. My spirit actually gets quite a kick out of this one because i think it's a nice slap in his face...to not capitalize his name. I bet he wants it to be capitalized, but I'm not fallin' for it!!!
No way hosea. I may wolf down a plate of pure BAD cholestrol, but by golly, I'm not going to give him respect when he deserves even less than a small "s".
Okay..Okay...I'll hush now. Gots to go to sleep. Thanks for entertaining me by reading this blog.
Man, if I don't get my buns in gear, I'm going to be the fattest person walking that Indy Mini next May! To God be the glory...HE is perfect and I am NOT!
love ya,
k
Hmmmm...that bunny trail got me in a better mood. See, how crazy I am? When I first started typing this I hated everything about me and now I'm laughing over the fact that my dad's nickname is Boob.
I truly do struggle with PMS and I fight against the spirit of naughty hormones. Tonight, a horrible spirit of jealousy flooded over me, through me, around me (yes, I allowed it) as John mentioned losing weight and that he wasn't going to eat a bowl of cereal even though he was hungry. I cringed. What on earth is wrong with me???? I hate my flesh- I literally was in a foul mood for about 30 min. and wouldn't make polite conversation with my poor hubby as I wallered in the "poor me" thought process. "Why am I not the one losing weight right now?" "Why is he bragging about his success?" Evil, evil thoughts came over me. I've ruined the whole evening of "what could've beens" with my nastiness. YUCKO!!! I couldn't even say "Great job honey. I'm so proud of you!" I muttered unkind things under my breath instead. To make myself "feel better" I jumped up and went and made some good ole fried eggs and toast. (I leave the yolks runny, but whites done so that I can dip the toast in the yolk!!!) I didn't say another word to him and just had a love affair with the plate of food. All of these strange comforting hormones were released as I almost spoke outloud to the food and told it how much I loved it. I thanked it for not talking back to me and for "just being there." Then, I heard God say "I want to be food to you. I want to be your everything." YIKES!!!!!! I know, I know, I know! I hate when I know something and don't do it...it ends up being that yucky word...."SIN."
To top off my entire evening, I then had a nice little spiritual battle with the great deceiver...yes...the enemy. He tried to convince me that I was just a big fake and that I sure do a good job of walking through all the motions of being a so called Christian...but "if they only knew the real me......." SHUT UP satan!!!!!! Ha!! Ha!!! Notice that I used a small lowercase "s" when typing satan. My spirit actually gets quite a kick out of this one because i think it's a nice slap in his face...to not capitalize his name. I bet he wants it to be capitalized, but I'm not fallin' for it!!!
No way hosea. I may wolf down a plate of pure BAD cholestrol, but by golly, I'm not going to give him respect when he deserves even less than a small "s".
Okay..Okay...I'll hush now. Gots to go to sleep. Thanks for entertaining me by reading this blog.
Man, if I don't get my buns in gear, I'm going to be the fattest person walking that Indy Mini next May! To God be the glory...HE is perfect and I am NOT!
love ya,
k
Monday, September 15, 2008
Friends
A gush of love just saturated my heart as I thought of my friends. Growing up, I always had a group of best friends. I can still remember laughing so hard that my stomach muscles would ache for hours. My friendships were a top priority to me as this was an area that God used to help me learn to love people, really love them. I just remembered a funny story which I'm sure you all can relate to my personality....I would make friends over the phone whom I had NEVER met in person. Someone would introduce me by phone to a friend of theirs and then a new relationship was born. I spent hours, and hours and hours building friendships.
Now, keep in mind, these were not like boyfriend relatioships although boys were involved....they were more so- just deep, true friends. Friends got me through literally the most difficult times in my life. At 13 when my parents got a divorce (Anna is 13 right now...) my entire home life fell apart, but God used friendships to carry me through. I socialized and just poured my heart and soul into my friends. Oh, how I loved my friends in school. Do any of you remember when 3-way calling first came out? Oh my gosh! We'd have a ball with this one. My dear friend Joy and I would have "Gospel Hour" with another friend. This was just a fun name for the times when we'd discuss God. I knew sooooo little then, just had such a passion to talk about Him. To this VERY day and moment- I still have such a heart's passion for my friend Joy whom I met at 13 years old. Her mother had an impact on my life that brings tears to my eyes. Undoubtedly, my faith is where it is today because of the spark that God allowed this family to put in my heart. Thank you, Jesus!!!! Her a mother taught her a type of love that I had never seen...it was gentle, joyful, fun, encouraging, warm....warm. Her mother's hugs were like none that I'd ever known before. No one had ever squeezed me tight and just embraced me for exactly who I was...no strings attached. I absolutely loved Joy's laughter and her mom's laughter. My mom never laughed like that with me and I needed to see that example.
The tears are flowing because I have been blessed from a very young age with godly, wonderful, lovely friends. This was just the beginning of years to come that would be rich and full of precious friends. Highschool came and went quickly with friends that supported me unconditionally during the most humiliating time of my life- highschool pregnancy. I don't EVER, EVER remember them looking at me or treating me any differently than "before I was pregnant." We still hung out and would giggle as we got ready for a highschool basketball game. We just carried on...Kara and her cute big belly and all!
All of you...my friends.... I honor you and thank you today for your loyalty, kindness, encouragement, love, forgiveness, mercy and grace towards me. We've laughed together, cried together, rejoiced together, served one another, and shared our hearts with trust and loyalty. How blessed I have been to have YOU in my life. I would not be the woman I am today without you as tools in the Lord's hands. Thank you for investing in my life. I'm closer to some of you than others, which is totally cool...but no matter who you, if you are reading this blog, just KNOW that I love you and care deeply for you. We all live such busy lives and I know we can't spend the time together that we'd like to. (If you are reading this and thinking "Oh, she can't be talking about me"...well, you are wrong. I am talking about YOU. EVERY ONE of YOU!)
The cool thing about all of you,my friends, is that you are all uniquely YOU, and I connect with you in whatever way God ordains. I love that Christ is the center of our friendships and we can get to the heart of matters quickly even if we haven't spoken for months, weeks days or hours....God is sooooo awesome! Even though we are busy raising kiddos, loving on our hubbies, serving our churches, etc...We will remain close in heart, faithful to uplift and edify one another and LET'S JUST PLAN a BIG 'OLE PARTY in ETERNITY, baby!!! Teeheee!
I love you all,
K
Now, keep in mind, these were not like boyfriend relatioships although boys were involved....they were more so- just deep, true friends. Friends got me through literally the most difficult times in my life. At 13 when my parents got a divorce (Anna is 13 right now...) my entire home life fell apart, but God used friendships to carry me through. I socialized and just poured my heart and soul into my friends. Oh, how I loved my friends in school. Do any of you remember when 3-way calling first came out? Oh my gosh! We'd have a ball with this one. My dear friend Joy and I would have "Gospel Hour" with another friend. This was just a fun name for the times when we'd discuss God. I knew sooooo little then, just had such a passion to talk about Him. To this VERY day and moment- I still have such a heart's passion for my friend Joy whom I met at 13 years old. Her mother had an impact on my life that brings tears to my eyes. Undoubtedly, my faith is where it is today because of the spark that God allowed this family to put in my heart. Thank you, Jesus!!!! Her a mother taught her a type of love that I had never seen...it was gentle, joyful, fun, encouraging, warm....warm. Her mother's hugs were like none that I'd ever known before. No one had ever squeezed me tight and just embraced me for exactly who I was...no strings attached. I absolutely loved Joy's laughter and her mom's laughter. My mom never laughed like that with me and I needed to see that example.
The tears are flowing because I have been blessed from a very young age with godly, wonderful, lovely friends. This was just the beginning of years to come that would be rich and full of precious friends. Highschool came and went quickly with friends that supported me unconditionally during the most humiliating time of my life- highschool pregnancy. I don't EVER, EVER remember them looking at me or treating me any differently than "before I was pregnant." We still hung out and would giggle as we got ready for a highschool basketball game. We just carried on...Kara and her cute big belly and all!
All of you...my friends.... I honor you and thank you today for your loyalty, kindness, encouragement, love, forgiveness, mercy and grace towards me. We've laughed together, cried together, rejoiced together, served one another, and shared our hearts with trust and loyalty. How blessed I have been to have YOU in my life. I would not be the woman I am today without you as tools in the Lord's hands. Thank you for investing in my life. I'm closer to some of you than others, which is totally cool...but no matter who you, if you are reading this blog, just KNOW that I love you and care deeply for you. We all live such busy lives and I know we can't spend the time together that we'd like to. (If you are reading this and thinking "Oh, she can't be talking about me"...well, you are wrong. I am talking about YOU. EVERY ONE of YOU!)
The cool thing about all of you,my friends, is that you are all uniquely YOU, and I connect with you in whatever way God ordains. I love that Christ is the center of our friendships and we can get to the heart of matters quickly even if we haven't spoken for months, weeks days or hours....God is sooooo awesome! Even though we are busy raising kiddos, loving on our hubbies, serving our churches, etc...We will remain close in heart, faithful to uplift and edify one another and LET'S JUST PLAN a BIG 'OLE PARTY in ETERNITY, baby!!! Teeheee!
I love you all,
K
Sunday, September 14, 2008
He is in control!
Howdy!
God has me exactly where He wants me and I keep getting the phrase "Be still and know that I am God." The septic system still stands as is. Nothing has changed. We are trying to use water sparingly, especially on days like this when rain drenched our yard. Just like Kyle preached this morning...we are counting it ALL joy that we're going through this trial. The Lord knows exactly how he's gonna fix it. The odd thing is that usually by now I would've made every call known to man call to find a bank that was willing to lend us the moola or I would have begged a family member to lend us the moola...but I don't think that's His answer. We've always fixed our problems by going into further debt- we just can NOT do it this time. This is a BIG time trial of faith because I'm totally believing that God will only allow what's best for us to occur- He surely will take care of our septic needs- I am sure of this. It's rather humbling to know that we've been stupid enough with money in our lifetime that we've bought plenty of "extras" and NON- necessities that now we don't have the money to provide a necessity for our family- that's actually humiliating. Oh and by the way..please, please don't feel sorry for us in any way. God will provide and I look forward to reporting the miracle He is doing to solve our problem. I can't see it yet..but it's coming.
I can go on just one more day and face tomorrow because HE lives. Pray for me that God will grow me to be the leader He wants of me. In my workplace right now there is a HUGE need for leadership that is reflective of HIM. My main boss is great in this area, which I'm extremely thankful for- but I'm sensing a HUGE need for moral boosting. When you are working out in the world- it's tough..it really is. Tomorrow, may my actions, words and thoughts be held captive to Christ. Yikes..I just took a deep breath because it's easy to get sucked into the "drama" of the workplace...drama, drama, drama! Pray that my light shines bright tomorrow.
Love you all,
k
p.s...oh yah...the eating/exercising thing....pray. I up 5 lbs and hate the feeling. I have a race to run/walk and I better get my hiney moving!
God has me exactly where He wants me and I keep getting the phrase "Be still and know that I am God." The septic system still stands as is. Nothing has changed. We are trying to use water sparingly, especially on days like this when rain drenched our yard. Just like Kyle preached this morning...we are counting it ALL joy that we're going through this trial. The Lord knows exactly how he's gonna fix it. The odd thing is that usually by now I would've made every call known to man call to find a bank that was willing to lend us the moola or I would have begged a family member to lend us the moola...but I don't think that's His answer. We've always fixed our problems by going into further debt- we just can NOT do it this time. This is a BIG time trial of faith because I'm totally believing that God will only allow what's best for us to occur- He surely will take care of our septic needs- I am sure of this. It's rather humbling to know that we've been stupid enough with money in our lifetime that we've bought plenty of "extras" and NON- necessities that now we don't have the money to provide a necessity for our family- that's actually humiliating. Oh and by the way..please, please don't feel sorry for us in any way. God will provide and I look forward to reporting the miracle He is doing to solve our problem. I can't see it yet..but it's coming.
I can go on just one more day and face tomorrow because HE lives. Pray for me that God will grow me to be the leader He wants of me. In my workplace right now there is a HUGE need for leadership that is reflective of HIM. My main boss is great in this area, which I'm extremely thankful for- but I'm sensing a HUGE need for moral boosting. When you are working out in the world- it's tough..it really is. Tomorrow, may my actions, words and thoughts be held captive to Christ. Yikes..I just took a deep breath because it's easy to get sucked into the "drama" of the workplace...drama, drama, drama! Pray that my light shines bright tomorrow.
Love you all,
k
p.s...oh yah...the eating/exercising thing....pray. I up 5 lbs and hate the feeling. I have a race to run/walk and I better get my hiney moving!
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Washington D.C.
I bet with a title like that you are thinking that this is going to be a political schpeel...NOPE!
Guess where I am? You are never going to believe it!!!!! Washington D.C!!! I had to keep this info. on the MAJOR D.L. (down low- meaning QUIET!!!) So, here's the story:
All of you know that John is a United States Marine, right? He served 4 years in the Marine Corps and is deeply proud of this heritage. He has been dreaming of visiting the National Marine Corps Museum in Quantico, VA (about 45 min. from D.C.). His precious Aunt Jenny recently visited this museum and picked him up a great t-shirt and cool pen with the intentions of giving it to him for his birthday, Sept. 7th. That in itself is pretty darn cool as John LOVES t-shirts!!! Then, something crazily awesome stirred in her and she decided to do something "special" for John this year. About 2 months ago, she called to say, "Kara, will you be my partner in crime on something." Teehheeeee! SURE!!!!! And with that, we developed a scheme for her to send John and I on a weekend trip to Washington D.C., fulfilling his dream of visiting this museum! Airline tickets, hotel, and rental car- A. jenny is the MOST generous person that I know!!! Here was the best part....it was going to be a GRAND surprise to John (I made sure he was off the whole weekend and whatever glitches I ran into, i put Greg in charge of fixing...thank you Greg- you rock!!!!) Now, here's the other big kicker....John didn't find out about this surprise until Thursday night and we left Friday morning on a plane for Washington!!! Holy smokeroos, right??
Aunt Jenny came up with this brilliant plan to invite John and us out to Cici's pizza for dinner on Thursday evening "for his birthday", a few days early...but he wasn't suspicious because A. jenny works alot of hours directing a nursing home. So, we got the family on board with this amazing surprise and voila...about 33 people greeted him at Cici's. Surprise, John! A. Jenny came up with a cute plan to wrap up the shirt and pen- which he would be ecstatic about and THEN she put together a binder with airflight confirmation, hotel info...etc!!! It took him a few minutes of viewing the info and her saying "This is YOUR flight info. John!!" I've never seen him so awe struck. For once, my dear hubby was speechless :)
Now...fast forward to John and I's arrival at the museum- he actually got light-headed when we stood in the entrance of this magnificent site. We had a delightful 3 hours at the museum and then planned to head back in the morning. Morning actually turned into more like noon as we battled terential rain due to Hurricane Hannah!!! Keep in mind that I'm married to a "professional driver" who has no fear of danger, wet roads or any as such! Therefore, the only weapon I could use to combat his fearless driving was prayer! The Lord and I went into some deep issues as I squeezed my eyes tightly and refused to look at the cars around us who would hydroplane, splash large quantities of water onto our front window, and scare the tar out of me!
Occasionally, I would yell out a "Lord Jesus!!!!" as my body could feel rough and terrifying vibrations. Okay...enough drama!
Now, I'm writing Sat. evening...we've returned from the adventures of the day. Once we fought our way to the museum today, we were saddened to have to leave within about 30 min. because they closed it due to the stinkin' flooding!!! AHHHHHHHH! Nonetheless, John decided to praise God! So, off we went to eat lunch...oh my goodness..have you ever been to an "Uno Chicago Grill"? if not, let me say- GO!!!!! This is the most fantastic place ever!!! Then, we went to a movie because everything else worth site seeing was too dangerous to get to.
Now, it's Sunday evening-whhoooooooo, what a day! Our flight home was delayed 2 times and we arrived back in Indy at about 6 p.m. My phenomenal children prepared a scrumptious dinner for us. Anna and Aunt Jenny cleaned and orchestrated all the kiddos to help! Anna had a handwritten menu at each of our places for John and I that read: Tonight's Menu
Slow Roasted Pork Chops, Homemade Garlic Mashed Potatoes, Seasoned Green Beans and Bread and butter, and homemade gravy! Wow- it was amazing!!!! Here was the best part....we walked into all 6 children plus Aunt Jenny around the dinner table, the table perfectly set and smiles on all of their faces as they sang Happy Birthday to John!
It's nice to getaway...but there is NO place like home!
k
Guess where I am? You are never going to believe it!!!!! Washington D.C!!! I had to keep this info. on the MAJOR D.L. (down low- meaning QUIET!!!) So, here's the story:
All of you know that John is a United States Marine, right? He served 4 years in the Marine Corps and is deeply proud of this heritage. He has been dreaming of visiting the National Marine Corps Museum in Quantico, VA (about 45 min. from D.C.). His precious Aunt Jenny recently visited this museum and picked him up a great t-shirt and cool pen with the intentions of giving it to him for his birthday, Sept. 7th. That in itself is pretty darn cool as John LOVES t-shirts!!! Then, something crazily awesome stirred in her and she decided to do something "special" for John this year. About 2 months ago, she called to say, "Kara, will you be my partner in crime on something." Teehheeeee! SURE!!!!! And with that, we developed a scheme for her to send John and I on a weekend trip to Washington D.C., fulfilling his dream of visiting this museum! Airline tickets, hotel, and rental car- A. jenny is the MOST generous person that I know!!! Here was the best part....it was going to be a GRAND surprise to John (I made sure he was off the whole weekend and whatever glitches I ran into, i put Greg in charge of fixing...thank you Greg- you rock!!!!) Now, here's the other big kicker....John didn't find out about this surprise until Thursday night and we left Friday morning on a plane for Washington!!! Holy smokeroos, right??
Aunt Jenny came up with this brilliant plan to invite John and us out to Cici's pizza for dinner on Thursday evening "for his birthday", a few days early...but he wasn't suspicious because A. jenny works alot of hours directing a nursing home. So, we got the family on board with this amazing surprise and voila...about 33 people greeted him at Cici's. Surprise, John! A. Jenny came up with a cute plan to wrap up the shirt and pen- which he would be ecstatic about and THEN she put together a binder with airflight confirmation, hotel info...etc!!! It took him a few minutes of viewing the info and her saying "This is YOUR flight info. John!!" I've never seen him so awe struck. For once, my dear hubby was speechless :)
Now...fast forward to John and I's arrival at the museum- he actually got light-headed when we stood in the entrance of this magnificent site. We had a delightful 3 hours at the museum and then planned to head back in the morning. Morning actually turned into more like noon as we battled terential rain due to Hurricane Hannah!!! Keep in mind that I'm married to a "professional driver" who has no fear of danger, wet roads or any as such! Therefore, the only weapon I could use to combat his fearless driving was prayer! The Lord and I went into some deep issues as I squeezed my eyes tightly and refused to look at the cars around us who would hydroplane, splash large quantities of water onto our front window, and scare the tar out of me!
Occasionally, I would yell out a "Lord Jesus!!!!" as my body could feel rough and terrifying vibrations. Okay...enough drama!
Now, I'm writing Sat. evening...we've returned from the adventures of the day. Once we fought our way to the museum today, we were saddened to have to leave within about 30 min. because they closed it due to the stinkin' flooding!!! AHHHHHHHH! Nonetheless, John decided to praise God! So, off we went to eat lunch...oh my goodness..have you ever been to an "Uno Chicago Grill"? if not, let me say- GO!!!!! This is the most fantastic place ever!!! Then, we went to a movie because everything else worth site seeing was too dangerous to get to.
Now, it's Sunday evening-whhoooooooo, what a day! Our flight home was delayed 2 times and we arrived back in Indy at about 6 p.m. My phenomenal children prepared a scrumptious dinner for us. Anna and Aunt Jenny cleaned and orchestrated all the kiddos to help! Anna had a handwritten menu at each of our places for John and I that read: Tonight's Menu
Slow Roasted Pork Chops, Homemade Garlic Mashed Potatoes, Seasoned Green Beans and Bread and butter, and homemade gravy! Wow- it was amazing!!!! Here was the best part....we walked into all 6 children plus Aunt Jenny around the dinner table, the table perfectly set and smiles on all of their faces as they sang Happy Birthday to John!
It's nice to getaway...but there is NO place like home!
k
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Heart 2 Heart and My Heart
Thank you all so much for praying and asking about our septic system problem. God's peace is covering the situation although no actual progress has been made. Let me rephrase that....I meant to say that we don't know what God's solution is to our problem. I'm just resting in the peace that He has made progress and knows every detail of our concerns. Yay!!
Tonight, many of us experienced a brief touch of Heaven as we attended EFC's Heart 2 Heart women's ministry. My absolute, absolute, absolute favorite part of the entire evening was looking around that huge circle of 39 women and seeing all of your beautiful faces. I could have just layed down and wallered in the love I felt. God has placed this phenomenal support system in my life to encourage me to never give up. I can go on after I've fallen flat on my face, after I've failed miserably, after I've screwed up royally because I see God's unconditional love in all of you. Your support on this crazy roller coaster ride journey of weightloss means more to me than words. I know I don't have to hide in this dark hole of failure and hopelessness because you all are pulling me through with your prayers, encouragement and love! Thank you!!!! I'm ready to dive into the story of David with all of you and develop a heart like his. I'm desperately thirsty right now in life for God's Word- I want to be transformed by the renewing of my mind. I've been relying on my own power for far too long and I'm ready to really soak in God's grace and goodness. (For anyone that doesn't attend our group, we are planning to do a Beth Moore Bible study called "David". You can get it at Sam's club for $13 if you want to join in!)
I must confess that last night, which was the night before the group, I was extremely depressed. I was to the point of saying "I quit."
I wanted to quit my life, just quit all the responsibilities that rest on my shoulders- like parenting, marriage, household manager, cook, housekeeper, daughter, niece, friend- you name it, and I wanted to just QUIT!!!! I seriously wanted to just scream and leave my life for a little while. I was deep into a dark and lonely pitt, one that I hadn't experienced for quite some time.
Finally, I just gritted my teeth and prayed for God's help cause it was NOT going to be pretty if something didn't change the course of my evening!!! All of the sudden, it occured to me that the following evening was going to be our first night back in Heart 2 Heart. Ahh Ha! It clicked that this was most certainly a spiritual attack. It was clear that satan wanted to hold me down and convince me that I was just a raging lunatic and that I had NO place serving in women's ministries. I'm ashamed of the way that I acted- horribly ashamed! I gave my poor daughter a look that could've killed- you know...the kind of look that says "Don't mess with me or I might blow!!!!!!!!" I was so angry that I refused to answer her request for help on homework. I poured myself a bowl of cereal and marched back into my room. I plopped on the bed and waited for John to come back to the room so I could then give him the "death glare." Ohhhhhhh- what a poor site I was. I even dreamed horrible things because I went to bed so angry and upset. Every ounce of me knew it was wrong to go to bed angry, but that stinkin' pride just reeked from my pores. This is how horrible I could be just less than 24 hours before helping lead a women's group? What??? Why does God keep using me???? I'll never know.... truly. All I can conclude is that His Word is true and He's full of grace and mercy. Thank you Jesus!!!! I share this story with you for one reason- I don't ever want to forget how ugly my heart can be and how much I need Jesus. Some of you don't ever get to see this nasty side of me...nonetheless-don't forget that it exists and my heart is sometimes dark and full of YUCK!!!! Gotta go to sleep now!
love you all!!
k
Tonight, many of us experienced a brief touch of Heaven as we attended EFC's Heart 2 Heart women's ministry. My absolute, absolute, absolute favorite part of the entire evening was looking around that huge circle of 39 women and seeing all of your beautiful faces. I could have just layed down and wallered in the love I felt. God has placed this phenomenal support system in my life to encourage me to never give up. I can go on after I've fallen flat on my face, after I've failed miserably, after I've screwed up royally because I see God's unconditional love in all of you. Your support on this crazy roller coaster ride journey of weightloss means more to me than words. I know I don't have to hide in this dark hole of failure and hopelessness because you all are pulling me through with your prayers, encouragement and love! Thank you!!!! I'm ready to dive into the story of David with all of you and develop a heart like his. I'm desperately thirsty right now in life for God's Word- I want to be transformed by the renewing of my mind. I've been relying on my own power for far too long and I'm ready to really soak in God's grace and goodness. (For anyone that doesn't attend our group, we are planning to do a Beth Moore Bible study called "David". You can get it at Sam's club for $13 if you want to join in!)
I must confess that last night, which was the night before the group, I was extremely depressed. I was to the point of saying "I quit."
I wanted to quit my life, just quit all the responsibilities that rest on my shoulders- like parenting, marriage, household manager, cook, housekeeper, daughter, niece, friend- you name it, and I wanted to just QUIT!!!! I seriously wanted to just scream and leave my life for a little while. I was deep into a dark and lonely pitt, one that I hadn't experienced for quite some time.
Finally, I just gritted my teeth and prayed for God's help cause it was NOT going to be pretty if something didn't change the course of my evening!!! All of the sudden, it occured to me that the following evening was going to be our first night back in Heart 2 Heart. Ahh Ha! It clicked that this was most certainly a spiritual attack. It was clear that satan wanted to hold me down and convince me that I was just a raging lunatic and that I had NO place serving in women's ministries. I'm ashamed of the way that I acted- horribly ashamed! I gave my poor daughter a look that could've killed- you know...the kind of look that says "Don't mess with me or I might blow!!!!!!!!" I was so angry that I refused to answer her request for help on homework. I poured myself a bowl of cereal and marched back into my room. I plopped on the bed and waited for John to come back to the room so I could then give him the "death glare." Ohhhhhhh- what a poor site I was. I even dreamed horrible things because I went to bed so angry and upset. Every ounce of me knew it was wrong to go to bed angry, but that stinkin' pride just reeked from my pores. This is how horrible I could be just less than 24 hours before helping lead a women's group? What??? Why does God keep using me???? I'll never know.... truly. All I can conclude is that His Word is true and He's full of grace and mercy. Thank you Jesus!!!! I share this story with you for one reason- I don't ever want to forget how ugly my heart can be and how much I need Jesus. Some of you don't ever get to see this nasty side of me...nonetheless-don't forget that it exists and my heart is sometimes dark and full of YUCK!!!! Gotta go to sleep now!
love you all!!
k
Monday, September 1, 2008
Top 10
Long time no write. Sorry! Today my family celebrated my grandmother's 70th birthday. What's more amazing than that is the fact that her own mother is 92 years old and came also! Can you imagine living for 92 years and seeing your very own daughter turn 70????Wow!!! Today was probably one of the happiest days for my grandma..she was relaxed, at ease and just had a great time!
I feel full tonight. Not only of food, but my soul feels full. God is on the throne and i KNOW without a doubt that His grace is going to move my hiney back in gear. I want to run like a gazelle again on that treadmill- the race will be here before I know it. I need to go ahead and put a request in to have that weekend off. Do you think I'm crazy?
So, on sunday, Pastor Randy had to mention that dirty, dirty rotten word- a word far worse than any 4 letter word you can think of- "discipline". Ahhhhhhh! I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. The Lord has been talking to me about "the heart issue" of things. It seems that everywhere i turn, He's pointing it out....even our women's group is going to undergo an "Extreme Heart Makeover." I get it, Lord, I get it! Let's look at my top 10 areas of struggle (David Letterman style).....
10. Food addiction
9. Servant heartedness
8. Laziness
7. Pride
6. Critical Judgement of others
5. Lack of prayer
4. Poor stewardship of God's money and things
3.Respecting John
2.Submission to authority
1. Reading, meditating, and memorizing the Word of God- the everlasting Word!
Now, i'm not claiming that these are listed in the appropriate order from least to most, but i am saying that food addiction is really just a result, just a bi-product of my number 1 struggle-
NOT being in the Word often enough, deep enough and not "hiding the Word in my heart." God tells me in His very promise to me that i am to "hide His word in my heart that I may not sin against Him." Hmmmm..... brilliant! That whole sin thing tends to get me everyday.....like 24/7 actually. I can guarantee you I even sin in my sleep- I've gotten rather brutal with john before and given him a good elbow out of selfish desires for me to be more comfortable!!!! uggghhhh!
So, my new committment to the Lord is not actually to eat better, exercise more and to live healthier. Why you may ask??? Because He wants something far deeper and more meaningful from me...for me to fall in love with His Word, fall madly in love with Him in prayer. We all love secrets don't we?? Don't you just love when someone lets you in on a secret? Well, the Lord is saying to me, "Kara, come and share all your secrets with me. I'll listen. I'll love you. I'm here for you. Come to me in that secret time and place and let's just hang out together!" The sad part is that I'm thinking "Okay Lord, great! Can i bring some snacks too?" He must laugh at me and just shake His head.
I must get to sleep my dear friends. I love you and please pray I'll undergo this Extreme Heart Makeover with much grace, patience and discipline!
k
I feel full tonight. Not only of food, but my soul feels full. God is on the throne and i KNOW without a doubt that His grace is going to move my hiney back in gear. I want to run like a gazelle again on that treadmill- the race will be here before I know it. I need to go ahead and put a request in to have that weekend off. Do you think I'm crazy?
So, on sunday, Pastor Randy had to mention that dirty, dirty rotten word- a word far worse than any 4 letter word you can think of- "discipline". Ahhhhhhh! I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. The Lord has been talking to me about "the heart issue" of things. It seems that everywhere i turn, He's pointing it out....even our women's group is going to undergo an "Extreme Heart Makeover." I get it, Lord, I get it! Let's look at my top 10 areas of struggle (David Letterman style).....
10. Food addiction
9. Servant heartedness
8. Laziness
7. Pride
6. Critical Judgement of others
5. Lack of prayer
4. Poor stewardship of God's money and things
3.Respecting John
2.Submission to authority
1. Reading, meditating, and memorizing the Word of God- the everlasting Word!
Now, i'm not claiming that these are listed in the appropriate order from least to most, but i am saying that food addiction is really just a result, just a bi-product of my number 1 struggle-
NOT being in the Word often enough, deep enough and not "hiding the Word in my heart." God tells me in His very promise to me that i am to "hide His word in my heart that I may not sin against Him." Hmmmm..... brilliant! That whole sin thing tends to get me everyday.....like 24/7 actually. I can guarantee you I even sin in my sleep- I've gotten rather brutal with john before and given him a good elbow out of selfish desires for me to be more comfortable!!!! uggghhhh!
So, my new committment to the Lord is not actually to eat better, exercise more and to live healthier. Why you may ask??? Because He wants something far deeper and more meaningful from me...for me to fall in love with His Word, fall madly in love with Him in prayer. We all love secrets don't we?? Don't you just love when someone lets you in on a secret? Well, the Lord is saying to me, "Kara, come and share all your secrets with me. I'll listen. I'll love you. I'm here for you. Come to me in that secret time and place and let's just hang out together!" The sad part is that I'm thinking "Okay Lord, great! Can i bring some snacks too?" He must laugh at me and just shake His head.
I must get to sleep my dear friends. I love you and please pray I'll undergo this Extreme Heart Makeover with much grace, patience and discipline!
k
Monday, August 18, 2008
Septic
Today is Avry's FIRST "day of school." She begins EFC's childcare ministry/preschool and she's gloating with a sense of being a big girl! What an exciting year for us! God is amazing and I sing praises to Him today. Renay and I are gonna exercise together sometime this morning after I drop her off! Hooray!!!!
Okay...so I had my first real breakdown last night over the whole septic system issue. We are still praying, don't have the money to fix it and have no clue what God is going to do. Last night, I visited my mom for a bit and she began to question what was going on with our septic problem. Everything she said was like a knife in my faith. Comments like "You better get that taken care of before you have raw sewage in your house...my goodness, Kara, it could flood your house!"
caused me to panic and picture us desperate and infested with raw sewage! Yikes!!! ahhhhhh!!!
I drove home with that horrible lump in my throat and tears streaming down my face. All I could do is cry out to God to PLEASE, PLEASE provide our needs for this. When I got home, I marched to the back yard and began praying over those stinkin' plugged up leech beds (no pun intended :) and claimed in Jesus' name that the pipes would become unplugged and a miracle would occur!!! I came inside and choked out a few words to John about how I was feeling. I could tell that it made him a bit defensive and he wanted me to know that everything was going to be fine.. How? How??? I keep wondering what on earth God's gonna do to solve this problem?
Then, I'm reminded that He is God...CREATOR....MASTER....GOOD...PERFECT...PROVIDER...LOVER OR OUR SOULS!
I must choose to believe that He has a plan to fix our septic dilema. I'm not even going to attempt to list the possible ways in which this could occur.....why? Because HE is God and God alone!!! So, this is where I am- left desperate and helpless-but full of hope in HIM. I am nothing and HE is everything. Please pray that HIS will is done in this situation.
Love you all!
K
Okay...so I had my first real breakdown last night over the whole septic system issue. We are still praying, don't have the money to fix it and have no clue what God is going to do. Last night, I visited my mom for a bit and she began to question what was going on with our septic problem. Everything she said was like a knife in my faith. Comments like "You better get that taken care of before you have raw sewage in your house...my goodness, Kara, it could flood your house!"
caused me to panic and picture us desperate and infested with raw sewage! Yikes!!! ahhhhhh!!!
I drove home with that horrible lump in my throat and tears streaming down my face. All I could do is cry out to God to PLEASE, PLEASE provide our needs for this. When I got home, I marched to the back yard and began praying over those stinkin' plugged up leech beds (no pun intended :) and claimed in Jesus' name that the pipes would become unplugged and a miracle would occur!!! I came inside and choked out a few words to John about how I was feeling. I could tell that it made him a bit defensive and he wanted me to know that everything was going to be fine.. How? How??? I keep wondering what on earth God's gonna do to solve this problem?
Then, I'm reminded that He is God...CREATOR....MASTER....GOOD...PERFECT...PROVIDER...LOVER OR OUR SOULS!
I must choose to believe that He has a plan to fix our septic dilema. I'm not even going to attempt to list the possible ways in which this could occur.....why? Because HE is God and God alone!!! So, this is where I am- left desperate and helpless-but full of hope in HIM. I am nothing and HE is everything. Please pray that HIS will is done in this situation.
Love you all!
K
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Ahhhhh (a sigh of relief)....
Hallalujah.....the angels of Heaven are singing praises....I'm floating on a cloud of joy......life is wonderful and peaceful....... What on earth is she talking about you might be thinking????
5 Children got on the bus this morning in front of our home. All 5 were dressed to a tee and absolutely adorable. Anna and Abby got up early as to have enough time to do their "hair" ( Oh my, is this ever bringing back memories!!!!) I woke up at 6:15 and started a fabulous hot breakfast. First, the buttermilk bisquits went in the oven (no, not homemade..but boy are the Walmart's store brand bisquits good!!) Then Evan helped me scramble 12 eggs and I put a pkg. of lil' smokies sausages in a skillet to simmer and get nice and hot! MMMMMMM...good!
I served 6 paperplates of scrumptious dee licious food (I'm getting smart and actually butter and jelly the bisquits before the kids even get em! 6 Kids and a jar of jam is not a pretty site!)
I even went all out and put some chocolate syrup in their milk! What a delight it was to see all of them eating peacefully, go freshen up for school, get dressed and then head out the door with lunch boxes in hand. John got up shortly after breakfast was served and got the camera shooting some cute shots (I'll try to post them soon) The bus arrived at 7:52 a.m. and John and I waived good bye. No, I didn't cry...it didn't even cross my mind actually. That may seem a bit heartless, but I've learned something in a few years of parenting- letting my children experience something new, difficult and even challenging (such as Emma getting to her classroom off the bus) is a good thing and I just have to let go and trust God. Will the day be perfect? I'm sure not. Will each of them be nervous and make mistakes? Sure.
Last night, my mom helped me take Abby, Evan and Emma to their openhouse event at the elementary school. By the time we left, I could tell that her nerves were shot :) She was feeling a lot of anxiety about Emma getting off the bus and to her class. She was actually trying to convince me to take her to school the first day and I said nope! :) They have lots of parents to help them get to where they are going and it will be more difficult for her to let go of me if I'm right there. She did get nervous last night going into her new classroom and really clung to me, but you know..this morning she was absolutely fine and excited. I didn't sense one bit of nervousness from her. She proudly hiked those little legs onto the bus steps and went with the flow.
Emma's prayer over breakfast was this "Dear Lord, please help us all have a good day at school and please help me not get sent to the principal's office. Amen" I was laughing so hard under my breath becausee none of the other kids have ever mentioned "the principal's office" yet Emma has this keen awareness of the level of trouble that is possible at school. PLEASE, oh PLEASE God, don't let her get too big for her britches at school and end up there!!!
Avry has enjoyed the quiet time home with mommy and daddy. Within about 2 hours, she had already painted a masterpiece, colored several pages with rainbow colors and has watched some cartoons. Oh, and I can't forget about her wonderful new obsession- she' LOVES to fold rags, washcloths, handtowels and such. I can barely sit a laundry basket down without her little hands reaching in for one of these items! So cute!!!
I've logged on my weight watchers this morning and don't have many points left for the day...not going to mention what I ate that took about 3/4 of my entire day's points. Okay, okay, you twisted my arm..... a honkin' bowl of vanilla icecream drenched in hershey's chocolate syrup with a banana sliced on top. Now, if I was out in public, I would NEVER order a choc. sundae because nothing can touch my homemade treat. I have a whole system in which I eat this mound of joy. It's quite pathetic now that I think about it...... Anyhow, I've also drank some water and have a chicken breast already at work that was supposed to be eaten yesterday but was vetoed for a horribly, horribly fattening lunch choice of McD's!! How stupid, I know, I know!!!! Here i am trying to save money on my poor kid's school lunch and I'm off inhaling a fish fil-o-let and fries.
It actually makes me want to puke just typing that...ooooooohhhh gross! So, that's my confession. I hate my flesh.. i really do. But, I do love God and will not give up.
I just told Avry to get her shoes on..we are going on a walk! And I'm gonna burn some calories tonight at work as I zoom around to help customers- which I absolutely LOVE doing. I have a whole new love for older folks too. They are just too darn cute and lovable! Except that grumpy ole man yesterday that smarted off to me about us being out of things in our add. Hey, pops, I'm really sorry about that but we can't help what the truck didn't bring us..we're doing our very best!
Gotta run!!! Love you all and off I shall go..... ( I will weigh in tomorrow)
k
5 Children got on the bus this morning in front of our home. All 5 were dressed to a tee and absolutely adorable. Anna and Abby got up early as to have enough time to do their "hair" ( Oh my, is this ever bringing back memories!!!!) I woke up at 6:15 and started a fabulous hot breakfast. First, the buttermilk bisquits went in the oven (no, not homemade..but boy are the Walmart's store brand bisquits good!!) Then Evan helped me scramble 12 eggs and I put a pkg. of lil' smokies sausages in a skillet to simmer and get nice and hot! MMMMMMM...good!
I served 6 paperplates of scrumptious dee licious food (I'm getting smart and actually butter and jelly the bisquits before the kids even get em! 6 Kids and a jar of jam is not a pretty site!)
I even went all out and put some chocolate syrup in their milk! What a delight it was to see all of them eating peacefully, go freshen up for school, get dressed and then head out the door with lunch boxes in hand. John got up shortly after breakfast was served and got the camera shooting some cute shots (I'll try to post them soon) The bus arrived at 7:52 a.m. and John and I waived good bye. No, I didn't cry...it didn't even cross my mind actually. That may seem a bit heartless, but I've learned something in a few years of parenting- letting my children experience something new, difficult and even challenging (such as Emma getting to her classroom off the bus) is a good thing and I just have to let go and trust God. Will the day be perfect? I'm sure not. Will each of them be nervous and make mistakes? Sure.
Last night, my mom helped me take Abby, Evan and Emma to their openhouse event at the elementary school. By the time we left, I could tell that her nerves were shot :) She was feeling a lot of anxiety about Emma getting off the bus and to her class. She was actually trying to convince me to take her to school the first day and I said nope! :) They have lots of parents to help them get to where they are going and it will be more difficult for her to let go of me if I'm right there. She did get nervous last night going into her new classroom and really clung to me, but you know..this morning she was absolutely fine and excited. I didn't sense one bit of nervousness from her. She proudly hiked those little legs onto the bus steps and went with the flow.
Emma's prayer over breakfast was this "Dear Lord, please help us all have a good day at school and please help me not get sent to the principal's office. Amen" I was laughing so hard under my breath becausee none of the other kids have ever mentioned "the principal's office" yet Emma has this keen awareness of the level of trouble that is possible at school. PLEASE, oh PLEASE God, don't let her get too big for her britches at school and end up there!!!
Avry has enjoyed the quiet time home with mommy and daddy. Within about 2 hours, she had already painted a masterpiece, colored several pages with rainbow colors and has watched some cartoons. Oh, and I can't forget about her wonderful new obsession- she' LOVES to fold rags, washcloths, handtowels and such. I can barely sit a laundry basket down without her little hands reaching in for one of these items! So cute!!!
I've logged on my weight watchers this morning and don't have many points left for the day...not going to mention what I ate that took about 3/4 of my entire day's points. Okay, okay, you twisted my arm..... a honkin' bowl of vanilla icecream drenched in hershey's chocolate syrup with a banana sliced on top. Now, if I was out in public, I would NEVER order a choc. sundae because nothing can touch my homemade treat. I have a whole system in which I eat this mound of joy. It's quite pathetic now that I think about it...... Anyhow, I've also drank some water and have a chicken breast already at work that was supposed to be eaten yesterday but was vetoed for a horribly, horribly fattening lunch choice of McD's!! How stupid, I know, I know!!!! Here i am trying to save money on my poor kid's school lunch and I'm off inhaling a fish fil-o-let and fries.
It actually makes me want to puke just typing that...ooooooohhhh gross! So, that's my confession. I hate my flesh.. i really do. But, I do love God and will not give up.
I just told Avry to get her shoes on..we are going on a walk! And I'm gonna burn some calories tonight at work as I zoom around to help customers- which I absolutely LOVE doing. I have a whole new love for older folks too. They are just too darn cute and lovable! Except that grumpy ole man yesterday that smarted off to me about us being out of things in our add. Hey, pops, I'm really sorry about that but we can't help what the truck didn't bring us..we're doing our very best!
Gotta run!!! Love you all and off I shall go..... ( I will weigh in tomorrow)
k
Thursday, August 7, 2008
School Prep
What a week..it's all been good. I'm counting my blessings as the following are going on:
HUGE prayer request- we need a new septic system put in. We've had one estimate given by Hack Excavating and I about fell over when I read it. Now, keep in mind that when he was here in person NO numbers of this calibar were discussed. John was under the impression that we'd be looking at about $2,000-$3,000. So, needless to say, when I saw the number $7,500 on the formal estimate, I about croaked! Who on earth has $7,500 to put in a new poop system!????
Now, we're calling Gary Cheeseman for an estimate. Do any of you have other suggestions?
Onto the "School Preparation Marathon in the Townsend Household..."
On Tuesday, school registration opened at 9 a.m. and I was the first in line at 8:45 baby! Oh yah!
After many years of experiencing the excitement of registering the kids, I've finally learned to NOT take any of them with me!!!! Don't worry, they still get to go and put their supplies away and meet the teacher on a different evening. For once, I just floated through all of the various "tables" and wrote checks like a mad woman. Can you believe that I had to pay $21 for Emma's annual "snack fee". They don't have kindergartners rotate and bring snacks any longer..now, they just have you pay a fee and the kids go to the cafeteria for snack and milk time. I'm actually happy about the whole milk thing....it worries me a bit that kids nowadays don't have enough calcium each day and since my kids are not going to be drinking milk with lunch (since we are sending their lunch this year). Okay, enough moo moo juice talk! Thank the good Lord that he provided extra work for John this summer through the fair and "project hours" at work, cause
I spent $800 in about 1 hour between all 5 kids. This did include a school spirit t shirt for each of them and the $70 Golden Nuggest Pass which pays for all of Anna and Johnathan's sports fees, gets our family into all games, band and choir concerts for free. It was such a feeling of accomplishment to leave the school and know that we are all set to go!! I say this VERY humbly in case you are all wondering how on earth we can afford school supplies and school clothes, underwear, socks, shoes, etc......our families are very supportive and I keep totes of hand- me -downs. I do have a funny "God-sighting" to share. Last summer, before I even knew that Johnathan would become a part of our immediate family, I was shopping at Dollar General. They had some really nice boys jean shorts on clearance for $1 per pair, but the size closest to Evan's size was a youth 10. I knew Evan wouldn't need them for a few years, but I couldn't pass up this bargain. Thus, I bought 2 pairs of size 10 jean shorts and put them up in the closet. Low and behold, sure enough I have a son now who will be wearing those size 10 shorts to school this fall...isn't God amazing!!!!!!!! Also, last year, I accepted a bunch of awesome size 10-12 clothes from the Gaskin family that Mason had outgrown...and yep...Johnathan will be wearing those too!!!
Let's talk a minute about school lunches. Price for elementary is $1.70 and price for middle school is $1.90. Last year, that didn't seem like to bad of deal since we only had Anna and Abby who ate lunch at school. But, then this year is a totally different ball game!! Now, all 5 kids will need to eat lunch at school. (Emma is in full day kindergarten and Evan was not last year)
Let's do the math , 3 kids in elementary= $5.10 per day or $25.50/wk PLUS 2 kids in middle school= $3.80/day or $19/wk for a grand total of = $44.50 per week on school lunches! That just seemed absurd!!! So, I've been on a mission called "Mission Possible." How do I make each child's lunch for $1 or less per day? For a grand total of just $25/week instead of $44.50.
Here are my requirements: Each meal will contain a main dish item, a side item, a fruit, a dessert and a drink. Thus, each "item" needed to be $.20 or less per serving. At first, this seemed a bit daunting and like too much work...but then, I became obsessed with it and have found much joy in it!!! So, I've made a master list of "ideas" and each idea is catorgized under one of the 5 food item categories. Here are some examples that are broken down into appropriate portion sizes: (Keep in mind that these prices come from either Sam's club, Aldi's or Walgreen's where I get my discount)
Under "Main Dish":
2 pieces of bread-$ .11, but it'll be cheaper when I go to bread store!!!!
Peanut butter- $.05
Grape jelly- $.02
Equals a $.18 sandwich.
Ham or turkey sand= $.27
Tuna salad sandwich= $.25
Sides:
Cracker pkgs from Sam's= .14
Baked Lays= $.20
Animal Crackers= $.07
Granola Bar= .16
Goldfish= .12
Cheerio's Baked Snack mix= .21
Party Mix= .14
Cheese and cracker packets= .20
Fresh carrots, sliced- .06
Fruits:
Raisins- .20
Mand. oranges- .23
Dried apricots-.18
Dried Cranberries=.18
Apples- .15
Applesauce- .20
Desserts:
Gummi Bears- .09 (yes, 14 bears!!!)
Mini fruit snack packs- .11
Lunch time gummy candies- .12 (for 2 of em..those cute little "food" looking gummies)
Nutty Bars-.17
Fudge Striped Cookies- .09
Choc Chip cookies- .09
Oreo off brand- .18
Fudge brownie- .09
Mr. Pudding pre packgd.- .22
Marshmallows- .07
Drinks- ( I bought each one of them a water bottle, so we'll be filling them each time)
Sugar free lemonade mix- .05
Capri Sun's - .19 (can you believe that?)
Apple juice- .33
The above list is just a portion of what I've recorded.)
Now, here's the kicker..trying to keep 6 kids out of special lunch food. I'm going to get a tote
and keep it on the highest possible shelf in our panty and use the fridge in the laundry room.
Anna and Abby's job will be to make all the lunches the night before and put in the fridge.
In the morning, we'll add the ice pack.
Oh my, oh my, what a new schedule we will all be on!!!!
I need to jump off here and make dinner.....farewell friends!!!
love ya,
k
HUGE prayer request- we need a new septic system put in. We've had one estimate given by Hack Excavating and I about fell over when I read it. Now, keep in mind that when he was here in person NO numbers of this calibar were discussed. John was under the impression that we'd be looking at about $2,000-$3,000. So, needless to say, when I saw the number $7,500 on the formal estimate, I about croaked! Who on earth has $7,500 to put in a new poop system!????
Now, we're calling Gary Cheeseman for an estimate. Do any of you have other suggestions?
Onto the "School Preparation Marathon in the Townsend Household..."
On Tuesday, school registration opened at 9 a.m. and I was the first in line at 8:45 baby! Oh yah!
After many years of experiencing the excitement of registering the kids, I've finally learned to NOT take any of them with me!!!! Don't worry, they still get to go and put their supplies away and meet the teacher on a different evening. For once, I just floated through all of the various "tables" and wrote checks like a mad woman. Can you believe that I had to pay $21 for Emma's annual "snack fee". They don't have kindergartners rotate and bring snacks any longer..now, they just have you pay a fee and the kids go to the cafeteria for snack and milk time. I'm actually happy about the whole milk thing....it worries me a bit that kids nowadays don't have enough calcium each day and since my kids are not going to be drinking milk with lunch (since we are sending their lunch this year). Okay, enough moo moo juice talk! Thank the good Lord that he provided extra work for John this summer through the fair and "project hours" at work, cause
I spent $800 in about 1 hour between all 5 kids. This did include a school spirit t shirt for each of them and the $70 Golden Nuggest Pass which pays for all of Anna and Johnathan's sports fees, gets our family into all games, band and choir concerts for free. It was such a feeling of accomplishment to leave the school and know that we are all set to go!! I say this VERY humbly in case you are all wondering how on earth we can afford school supplies and school clothes, underwear, socks, shoes, etc......our families are very supportive and I keep totes of hand- me -downs. I do have a funny "God-sighting" to share. Last summer, before I even knew that Johnathan would become a part of our immediate family, I was shopping at Dollar General. They had some really nice boys jean shorts on clearance for $1 per pair, but the size closest to Evan's size was a youth 10. I knew Evan wouldn't need them for a few years, but I couldn't pass up this bargain. Thus, I bought 2 pairs of size 10 jean shorts and put them up in the closet. Low and behold, sure enough I have a son now who will be wearing those size 10 shorts to school this fall...isn't God amazing!!!!!!!! Also, last year, I accepted a bunch of awesome size 10-12 clothes from the Gaskin family that Mason had outgrown...and yep...Johnathan will be wearing those too!!!
Let's talk a minute about school lunches. Price for elementary is $1.70 and price for middle school is $1.90. Last year, that didn't seem like to bad of deal since we only had Anna and Abby who ate lunch at school. But, then this year is a totally different ball game!! Now, all 5 kids will need to eat lunch at school. (Emma is in full day kindergarten and Evan was not last year)
Let's do the math , 3 kids in elementary= $5.10 per day or $25.50/wk PLUS 2 kids in middle school= $3.80/day or $19/wk for a grand total of = $44.50 per week on school lunches! That just seemed absurd!!! So, I've been on a mission called "Mission Possible." How do I make each child's lunch for $1 or less per day? For a grand total of just $25/week instead of $44.50.
Here are my requirements: Each meal will contain a main dish item, a side item, a fruit, a dessert and a drink. Thus, each "item" needed to be $.20 or less per serving. At first, this seemed a bit daunting and like too much work...but then, I became obsessed with it and have found much joy in it!!! So, I've made a master list of "ideas" and each idea is catorgized under one of the 5 food item categories. Here are some examples that are broken down into appropriate portion sizes: (Keep in mind that these prices come from either Sam's club, Aldi's or Walgreen's where I get my discount)
Under "Main Dish":
2 pieces of bread-$ .11, but it'll be cheaper when I go to bread store!!!!
Peanut butter- $.05
Grape jelly- $.02
Equals a $.18 sandwich.
Ham or turkey sand= $.27
Tuna salad sandwich= $.25
Sides:
Cracker pkgs from Sam's= .14
Baked Lays= $.20
Animal Crackers= $.07
Granola Bar= .16
Goldfish= .12
Cheerio's Baked Snack mix= .21
Party Mix= .14
Cheese and cracker packets= .20
Fresh carrots, sliced- .06
Fruits:
Raisins- .20
Mand. oranges- .23
Dried apricots-.18
Dried Cranberries=.18
Apples- .15
Applesauce- .20
Desserts:
Gummi Bears- .09 (yes, 14 bears!!!)
Mini fruit snack packs- .11
Lunch time gummy candies- .12 (for 2 of em..those cute little "food" looking gummies)
Nutty Bars-.17
Fudge Striped Cookies- .09
Choc Chip cookies- .09
Oreo off brand- .18
Fudge brownie- .09
Mr. Pudding pre packgd.- .22
Marshmallows- .07
Drinks- ( I bought each one of them a water bottle, so we'll be filling them each time)
Sugar free lemonade mix- .05
Capri Sun's - .19 (can you believe that?)
Apple juice- .33
The above list is just a portion of what I've recorded.)
Now, here's the kicker..trying to keep 6 kids out of special lunch food. I'm going to get a tote
and keep it on the highest possible shelf in our panty and use the fridge in the laundry room.
Anna and Abby's job will be to make all the lunches the night before and put in the fridge.
In the morning, we'll add the ice pack.
Oh my, oh my, what a new schedule we will all be on!!!!
I need to jump off here and make dinner.....farewell friends!!!
love ya,
k
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Shock Factor
Hey all!
Good news on the weight. I officially weighed in this morning at 244.0! God has given me much grace these past few days. I'm well on my way back DOWN, DOWN, DOWN!! Please don't let up on the prayer- I need it badly!!
God is taking me to a new level of boldness. Yesterday, there were 2 young teen girls shopping in the "condom/personal pleasure" (Kara's terminology, not the store's) section of the store. So, at first I was a bit dismayed as I thought of their youthfulness. Then, the Lord prompted me to boldly approach them and ask with a smile on my face, "May I help you find anything?" One of the girls looked directly in my eyes with a smart allic smirk and said, "Yes! We are looking for things to help with lesbian sex!" What???? What???? Did I just hear her correctly? Right in front of God and all of the store she asked me for help with lesbian sex?????What??????? Thank goodness that the Lord allows me to be quick and witty at times and not stumble over my words at a moment like this! Before I could blurt out anything, the other girl that she was with started laughing and playfully pushed at her friend and said "Oh stop it!"
A brief sigh of relief came over me as I realized that the one girl was just being a brat to me and wanted to say something off the wall and crazy. Thus, I looked right into her lovely little blue eyes and said "I could tell you were just saying that to me for the shock factor right?" She smirked at me and then didn't say anything. I kindly added, "When you are done shopping, I'd be glad to ring you up at this register, " and I pointed to my coz register!
Moments that seemed like an eternity went by as they continued to review this "area" of product. I waited and waited, praying for wisdom as to what to say when they checked out.
Finally, they came bee bopping over to my register with a packet of 3 condoms and 2 cokes.
I asked, " So, are you girls getting ready to go back to school?" They answered, "Not really, I'm not ready at all." I found out that they both knew John through security at the schools which lightened the conversation. I asked, "So, what do you all do for fun?" as i prayed that they would NOT mention anything else about lesbo sex and try to get a rise out of me! They said, "Blow up condoms and put them in people's mailboxes." Holy smokeroos, did I have a couple of rebels on hand or what? But I stayed cool and acted like that didn't phase me...bring it on!
Before I knew it, I blurted out "Well, my church has a great youth group program that I think you'd love! It's fun and contemporary with great music." Our eyes locked as I was not going to give up on these girls that have probably been labeled by society as rebels, naughty, trouble makers, and bad girls. Now, talk about shock factor???Hmmmm?? I had em!!!
The Holy Spirit began to sweep through and one girl pulled out a piece of paper and asked me for the church's name and info? Whoa!!
Was this really happening? So, i gave her the name and Jeremy's number and my phone number to call for more info. Please pray HARD for girl A and girl B- I do believe that God will bring them to MP3. You just never know do you????
That's really all I've got right now! Love you all,
off to work I go.....
K
Good news on the weight. I officially weighed in this morning at 244.0! God has given me much grace these past few days. I'm well on my way back DOWN, DOWN, DOWN!! Please don't let up on the prayer- I need it badly!!
God is taking me to a new level of boldness. Yesterday, there were 2 young teen girls shopping in the "condom/personal pleasure" (Kara's terminology, not the store's) section of the store. So, at first I was a bit dismayed as I thought of their youthfulness. Then, the Lord prompted me to boldly approach them and ask with a smile on my face, "May I help you find anything?" One of the girls looked directly in my eyes with a smart allic smirk and said, "Yes! We are looking for things to help with lesbian sex!" What???? What???? Did I just hear her correctly? Right in front of God and all of the store she asked me for help with lesbian sex?????What??????? Thank goodness that the Lord allows me to be quick and witty at times and not stumble over my words at a moment like this! Before I could blurt out anything, the other girl that she was with started laughing and playfully pushed at her friend and said "Oh stop it!"
A brief sigh of relief came over me as I realized that the one girl was just being a brat to me and wanted to say something off the wall and crazy. Thus, I looked right into her lovely little blue eyes and said "I could tell you were just saying that to me for the shock factor right?" She smirked at me and then didn't say anything. I kindly added, "When you are done shopping, I'd be glad to ring you up at this register, " and I pointed to my coz register!
Moments that seemed like an eternity went by as they continued to review this "area" of product. I waited and waited, praying for wisdom as to what to say when they checked out.
Finally, they came bee bopping over to my register with a packet of 3 condoms and 2 cokes.
I asked, " So, are you girls getting ready to go back to school?" They answered, "Not really, I'm not ready at all." I found out that they both knew John through security at the schools which lightened the conversation. I asked, "So, what do you all do for fun?" as i prayed that they would NOT mention anything else about lesbo sex and try to get a rise out of me! They said, "Blow up condoms and put them in people's mailboxes." Holy smokeroos, did I have a couple of rebels on hand or what? But I stayed cool and acted like that didn't phase me...bring it on!
Before I knew it, I blurted out "Well, my church has a great youth group program that I think you'd love! It's fun and contemporary with great music." Our eyes locked as I was not going to give up on these girls that have probably been labeled by society as rebels, naughty, trouble makers, and bad girls. Now, talk about shock factor???Hmmmm?? I had em!!!
The Holy Spirit began to sweep through and one girl pulled out a piece of paper and asked me for the church's name and info? Whoa!!
Was this really happening? So, i gave her the name and Jeremy's number and my phone number to call for more info. Please pray HARD for girl A and girl B- I do believe that God will bring them to MP3. You just never know do you????
That's really all I've got right now! Love you all,
off to work I go.....
K
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
NEWNESS of LIFE
Howdy gals!
Yes, it's been far too long since I've posted-but when you are at the bottom of the barrel, you don't feel like saying much of anything. You don't want to bore people with your pointless talk or you feel like a hypocrite who preaches a healthy lifestyle but is eating fattening french fries.
You all know that I've been coveting your prayers for me to get back on track. Today is a new day and God reminded me that there is no tomorrow and no turning back. I'm such a screw up...yes, really! I'm such a loser at heart and a pig in the flesh! Oh, Jesus... I KNOW and believe you died for all of my sins- my disgusting gluttony, my selfish behaviors, my wicked heart, my horrid thought process- PLEASE let me walk in the light! I have been bought with a price by you, Oh God!!!! Why do I want to steal from you, God? And try to steal my life back and live it recklessly????? I hate it!!!!
Many of you have been praying for me and I appreciate it-truly!!! The tide is turning at last. Today, I logged back on to Weight Watchers and am recommitting myself to it. It actually felt freeing to type in what I've eaten today, including 8 little M and M's! By the grace of God- I went to Walmart and bought some things to get us through the week and I've got a plan!!!
It felt good to spend money on fresh blueberries, fresh bananas (what other kind are there, right?), garlic, lowfat cottage cheese, etc! So, I came home and chugged some water. Then decided to make my dinner for tonight at work- it took a whopping 8 minutes to prepare a 4 oz. piece of frozen salmon and garlic stir fryed frozen green beans. I put a mini bag of lite popcorn in my sack, a Clif Bar (i'll tell you more in a minute about those!!), and the container of fresh blueberries! YUMMMMMMMY! I'm also taking a new fiber one yogurt- YUMMMYYY!
Okay- the Clif bars- I bought the ones for "Kids" that are organic and come as 24 individually wrapped bars from Sam's Club- for a little over $10- that's .40 per bar!!! This came as a variety pack of double chocolate brownie, chocolate chip or peanut butter- I love them!!!!!! Anna got me hooked on them as her teacher brought them to Health class towards the end of the school year.
Now, about the yogurt- these come as a little bit smaller containers as a traditional individual yogurt, but they are to die for and high in fiber. Sometimes I open the other kinds of yogurt and feel like it's just too much to eat at one sitting, so I actually like these smaller ones. Plus, mentally, it fools me into thinking I'm having a s'morgesboard of food at meal time if I eat a variety of things, but good portions!
So, I'm joyfully announcing that WE are back on track. You may say, "Who's WE?" Well, the WE is all of you who would like to jump back on with me right now!!! None of us ever said this would be easy or a joy- but we have to stick together for our health. I don't know about you, but I hate fat- like, literall fat rolls. Be prepared for some TMI here..... I sat down to go potty the other day and felt that the roll in front was protruding a bit more than it had been- OOOOOHHHHH GROSSS!!! I hate that feeling. So, I'm back on track- because HE lives and loves my nasty self! Thank you GOD for a bazillion chances to take my health seriously!
I love you God and I love you dear friends!
K
Yes, it's been far too long since I've posted-but when you are at the bottom of the barrel, you don't feel like saying much of anything. You don't want to bore people with your pointless talk or you feel like a hypocrite who preaches a healthy lifestyle but is eating fattening french fries.
You all know that I've been coveting your prayers for me to get back on track. Today is a new day and God reminded me that there is no tomorrow and no turning back. I'm such a screw up...yes, really! I'm such a loser at heart and a pig in the flesh! Oh, Jesus... I KNOW and believe you died for all of my sins- my disgusting gluttony, my selfish behaviors, my wicked heart, my horrid thought process- PLEASE let me walk in the light! I have been bought with a price by you, Oh God!!!! Why do I want to steal from you, God? And try to steal my life back and live it recklessly????? I hate it!!!!
Many of you have been praying for me and I appreciate it-truly!!! The tide is turning at last. Today, I logged back on to Weight Watchers and am recommitting myself to it. It actually felt freeing to type in what I've eaten today, including 8 little M and M's! By the grace of God- I went to Walmart and bought some things to get us through the week and I've got a plan!!!
It felt good to spend money on fresh blueberries, fresh bananas (what other kind are there, right?), garlic, lowfat cottage cheese, etc! So, I came home and chugged some water. Then decided to make my dinner for tonight at work- it took a whopping 8 minutes to prepare a 4 oz. piece of frozen salmon and garlic stir fryed frozen green beans. I put a mini bag of lite popcorn in my sack, a Clif Bar (i'll tell you more in a minute about those!!), and the container of fresh blueberries! YUMMMMMMMY! I'm also taking a new fiber one yogurt- YUMMMYYY!
Okay- the Clif bars- I bought the ones for "Kids" that are organic and come as 24 individually wrapped bars from Sam's Club- for a little over $10- that's .40 per bar!!! This came as a variety pack of double chocolate brownie, chocolate chip or peanut butter- I love them!!!!!! Anna got me hooked on them as her teacher brought them to Health class towards the end of the school year.
Now, about the yogurt- these come as a little bit smaller containers as a traditional individual yogurt, but they are to die for and high in fiber. Sometimes I open the other kinds of yogurt and feel like it's just too much to eat at one sitting, so I actually like these smaller ones. Plus, mentally, it fools me into thinking I'm having a s'morgesboard of food at meal time if I eat a variety of things, but good portions!
So, I'm joyfully announcing that WE are back on track. You may say, "Who's WE?" Well, the WE is all of you who would like to jump back on with me right now!!! None of us ever said this would be easy or a joy- but we have to stick together for our health. I don't know about you, but I hate fat- like, literall fat rolls. Be prepared for some TMI here..... I sat down to go potty the other day and felt that the roll in front was protruding a bit more than it had been- OOOOOHHHHH GROSSS!!! I hate that feeling. So, I'm back on track- because HE lives and loves my nasty self! Thank you GOD for a bazillion chances to take my health seriously!
I love you God and I love you dear friends!
K
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
The 3 P's
Where is the time going? Can anyone believe that we are just 21 days away from TSC starting.
Anna will be in 8th gr., Johnathan will be in 6th, Abby will be in 3rd, Evan will be in 1st and Emma will be full day kindergarten! Avry will be attending EFC Childcare/preschool. Yahoo!!! I don't wish away this precious time with the kids while they are still young. However, I am excited to see what God is doing in each of their lives as they grow older. Just a warning...next summer when I blog, it'll probably be an entire melt down as Anna will then be going into highschool!! No way!!!!!!!!
Onto another topic...prayer. I've come to realize that truly the only hope I have to regain consciousness from this toxic, selfish acoma that I've went into is to ask for prayer. What's on my prayer list specifically? A lot of yucky stuff to be honest. I have to take a deep breath to even bring myself to terms with where I am...I hate it and I'm going to fight until God's victory prevails over darkness.
1. Pray that my heart will be transformed by the renewing of my mind. (don't know where that scripture is..)
2. Pray that I'll have a hunger for God's Word like never before, that the gates of Heaven will be opened to me and the Spirit will pour down over me like a rushing river.
3. Pray that I continue to develop a servant's heart. It's so easy to slack in the comfort of your own home...i highly desire to be a woman of integrity whom my children look up to and see my servant's heart. Right now, it's much easier to beg them to watch t.v. so i can sleep in.
4. pray that I'll see clearly the enemy's schemes and realize ways that I can step into the armour of God to fight off the devil, world and flesh.
Let's talk a minute about "the flesh"- for such a simple word, it sure does encompass complex meaning. My flesh is beyond evil. It disgusts me. Every day, I must battle my own flesh. The Spirit is fighting against it..but so often I just want to live in the flesh. I get cozy, snuggle up with a warm furry blankie and suck my thumb as i waller in the flesh. I like to pout like a baby! I like to whine and complain, making a sound like a clanging symbol. Why??Why??? Why would anyone choose this horrid lifestyle..yet, even though I'm saved, I choose to walk in old wickedness, old thought processes of selfish gain and pride. Some of you are thinking "Oh, kara you aren't that bad or you are over exaggerating as we all struggle." Or you are thinking, "Glad you realize and admitt it." But let me tell you that when the Bible says our hearts our wicked and we are lost- oh yes..can i ever assure you that it's true. The good news is of course that Christ is my advocate and I've received His forgiveness... Something odd just happened as I was typing the word "forgiveness"... my fingers slowed down on the key board and I could barely type that word. I've accepted eternal like through Christ's forgiveness, yet i receive some sort of sickening comfort out of holding on to all the "ways that I'm bad."
I'm actually getting a headache thinking about all of this...i'm too complex, or do I just make it all too complex??hmmmmmm
Three words keep ringing loudly with me: Pride, Praise and Prayer. ( The 3 P's!)
God deserves far more praise than I give Him. My pride issue sucks and I must rely and have faith in the power of prayer!!!!
As a matter of fact..I'm gonna just head to bed right now and spend some time in prayer.
love you all!
k
Anna will be in 8th gr., Johnathan will be in 6th, Abby will be in 3rd, Evan will be in 1st and Emma will be full day kindergarten! Avry will be attending EFC Childcare/preschool. Yahoo!!! I don't wish away this precious time with the kids while they are still young. However, I am excited to see what God is doing in each of their lives as they grow older. Just a warning...next summer when I blog, it'll probably be an entire melt down as Anna will then be going into highschool!! No way!!!!!!!!
Onto another topic...prayer. I've come to realize that truly the only hope I have to regain consciousness from this toxic, selfish acoma that I've went into is to ask for prayer. What's on my prayer list specifically? A lot of yucky stuff to be honest. I have to take a deep breath to even bring myself to terms with where I am...I hate it and I'm going to fight until God's victory prevails over darkness.
1. Pray that my heart will be transformed by the renewing of my mind. (don't know where that scripture is..)
2. Pray that I'll have a hunger for God's Word like never before, that the gates of Heaven will be opened to me and the Spirit will pour down over me like a rushing river.
3. Pray that I continue to develop a servant's heart. It's so easy to slack in the comfort of your own home...i highly desire to be a woman of integrity whom my children look up to and see my servant's heart. Right now, it's much easier to beg them to watch t.v. so i can sleep in.
4. pray that I'll see clearly the enemy's schemes and realize ways that I can step into the armour of God to fight off the devil, world and flesh.
Let's talk a minute about "the flesh"- for such a simple word, it sure does encompass complex meaning. My flesh is beyond evil. It disgusts me. Every day, I must battle my own flesh. The Spirit is fighting against it..but so often I just want to live in the flesh. I get cozy, snuggle up with a warm furry blankie and suck my thumb as i waller in the flesh. I like to pout like a baby! I like to whine and complain, making a sound like a clanging symbol. Why??Why??? Why would anyone choose this horrid lifestyle..yet, even though I'm saved, I choose to walk in old wickedness, old thought processes of selfish gain and pride. Some of you are thinking "Oh, kara you aren't that bad or you are over exaggerating as we all struggle." Or you are thinking, "Glad you realize and admitt it." But let me tell you that when the Bible says our hearts our wicked and we are lost- oh yes..can i ever assure you that it's true. The good news is of course that Christ is my advocate and I've received His forgiveness... Something odd just happened as I was typing the word "forgiveness"... my fingers slowed down on the key board and I could barely type that word. I've accepted eternal like through Christ's forgiveness, yet i receive some sort of sickening comfort out of holding on to all the "ways that I'm bad."
I'm actually getting a headache thinking about all of this...i'm too complex, or do I just make it all too complex??hmmmmmm
Three words keep ringing loudly with me: Pride, Praise and Prayer. ( The 3 P's!)
God deserves far more praise than I give Him. My pride issue sucks and I must rely and have faith in the power of prayer!!!!
As a matter of fact..I'm gonna just head to bed right now and spend some time in prayer.
love you all!
k
Monday, July 14, 2008
Rambling
Oh my...where do i begin? I feel 100 million miles away from God right now and I'm begging and pleading with Him to get back to where I was. It's not just food, it's my heart right now that I'm most concerned by. I feel so wordly.... I realize that much of that is a result of me now battling the outside world in 8 hour increments at my job (which I still love). It's a whole new arena for me. Here's the prob: "Happy Hour" at Sonic is from 2-4 when you get 1/2 price on drinks and slushies...my new favorite is the Lemon Berry Slushy-ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I can't fathom how much sugar is in that bad boy. It can't be good! I did take my lunch today which was progress.
I know I've said this before but it is oh so true- the hardest thing about struggling in any area of your life is that you HATE to admit it! I'm biting my lip so hard and hate when someone points out that I've been struggling- it's NOT their fault for bringing it up, it's MY PRIDE problem! I can't stand judgment concerning what I'm eating- it's soooooo tough on me.
You all know that my goal in working for Walgreens is to become an Assistant Manager asap.
I have NO idea how far away that is and all that I must learn and prove to attain that position.
So, I've been carefully watching the other assistant managers and realize the thing they can do that I'm able to yet is : Climb like a monkey up on top of displays and ladders to hang things- I keep picturing my soon-to-be fit body jumping around the store like a circus performer. I want to look at any task and just say "I can do that no matter the physical labor involved!" I noticed
that the managers all work their tales off when it comes to truck day. What is truck day you might ask? Well, it's just as it sounds... the day when a large semi backs up to our stockroom doors and a roller style conveyer belt extends to the truck. Managers start stacking, piling, organizing all sorts of stuff that comes off the truck- and it's all done very fast. BUT I am capable of doing it too... I just know it! I'm building up my endurance by using a "2-wheeler" to transport boxes of stuff around the store :) Renay gets a kick out of my infatuation with the new lingo of the Walgreens world.
"Coz" is of course the Cosmetic Dept.
"2 Wheeler" is a dolly cart
"a plano" is the planogram- which is a print out of the product layout of each section of shelving
"on the wall" means on the cosmetic wall-
"in the back" means along the back wall of the store
"deep facing" is organizing and straightening the products behind what you see up front on the shelf.
"Facing" is straightening the products and pulling them all forward.
Have I told you all that my abosolute favorite product line to stock onto the shelves is deodorant.
Yes... it is rather funny but there are SO many different types and styles of cans, bottles, containers. Here's the one that I'm most fascinated by - a new type of "Old Spice" deodorant that comes in a burnt red colored aresol bottle. Oh my gosh! I love it!!!! Of course, it is a man's deodorant and I'm thinking of buying some for my gramps! (just kidding) Just promise me that the next time you come in to see me or you are in a Walgreens- just pick up this can and revel in its beauty, it's rustic smooth texture, observe the cool little spray top. Okay, okay, I'll stop going on and on about it!
My new favorite cologne is my Antonio Banderez called Blue Seduction for women. I've realized that some of the names for various products aren't necessarily godly... but I don't think that really matters does it? It's all about the heart issue behind the item. For example, if I was to wear "Blue Seduction" parfume and then begin seducing men other than my hubby, then I've got a major problem. Now, if I wear it and become a bit frisky with john -then yahoo- the parfume did it's job of seduction in the right manner :)
I'm a bit wild tonight! It's a good thing because when I first starting posting all of this, I felt rather down and sad.
I miss you all! I miss Heart 2 Heart but I know that we'll be restarting soon.
love you,
k
I know I've said this before but it is oh so true- the hardest thing about struggling in any area of your life is that you HATE to admit it! I'm biting my lip so hard and hate when someone points out that I've been struggling- it's NOT their fault for bringing it up, it's MY PRIDE problem! I can't stand judgment concerning what I'm eating- it's soooooo tough on me.
You all know that my goal in working for Walgreens is to become an Assistant Manager asap.
I have NO idea how far away that is and all that I must learn and prove to attain that position.
So, I've been carefully watching the other assistant managers and realize the thing they can do that I'm able to yet is : Climb like a monkey up on top of displays and ladders to hang things- I keep picturing my soon-to-be fit body jumping around the store like a circus performer. I want to look at any task and just say "I can do that no matter the physical labor involved!" I noticed
that the managers all work their tales off when it comes to truck day. What is truck day you might ask? Well, it's just as it sounds... the day when a large semi backs up to our stockroom doors and a roller style conveyer belt extends to the truck. Managers start stacking, piling, organizing all sorts of stuff that comes off the truck- and it's all done very fast. BUT I am capable of doing it too... I just know it! I'm building up my endurance by using a "2-wheeler" to transport boxes of stuff around the store :) Renay gets a kick out of my infatuation with the new lingo of the Walgreens world.
"Coz" is of course the Cosmetic Dept.
"2 Wheeler" is a dolly cart
"a plano" is the planogram- which is a print out of the product layout of each section of shelving
"on the wall" means on the cosmetic wall-
"in the back" means along the back wall of the store
"deep facing" is organizing and straightening the products behind what you see up front on the shelf.
"Facing" is straightening the products and pulling them all forward.
Have I told you all that my abosolute favorite product line to stock onto the shelves is deodorant.
Yes... it is rather funny but there are SO many different types and styles of cans, bottles, containers. Here's the one that I'm most fascinated by - a new type of "Old Spice" deodorant that comes in a burnt red colored aresol bottle. Oh my gosh! I love it!!!! Of course, it is a man's deodorant and I'm thinking of buying some for my gramps! (just kidding) Just promise me that the next time you come in to see me or you are in a Walgreens- just pick up this can and revel in its beauty, it's rustic smooth texture, observe the cool little spray top. Okay, okay, I'll stop going on and on about it!
My new favorite cologne is my Antonio Banderez called Blue Seduction for women. I've realized that some of the names for various products aren't necessarily godly... but I don't think that really matters does it? It's all about the heart issue behind the item. For example, if I was to wear "Blue Seduction" parfume and then begin seducing men other than my hubby, then I've got a major problem. Now, if I wear it and become a bit frisky with john -then yahoo- the parfume did it's job of seduction in the right manner :)
I'm a bit wild tonight! It's a good thing because when I first starting posting all of this, I felt rather down and sad.
I miss you all! I miss Heart 2 Heart but I know that we'll be restarting soon.
love you,
k
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Carnival
hey everyone!
just a quick howdy and praise to God for an awesome turnout today at our carnival. It was rescheduled for today since yesterday was a muddy, rainey mess!
Including EFC folks, we had over 400 in attendance today! God is good!! What a gorgeous day for this too.
I need to head to bed and work this week Mon, Tues, Wed, and Fri.
please pray for Lindsay-she's very ill with a flu like bug and needs our prayers.
love you all!
k
just a quick howdy and praise to God for an awesome turnout today at our carnival. It was rescheduled for today since yesterday was a muddy, rainey mess!
Including EFC folks, we had over 400 in attendance today! God is good!! What a gorgeous day for this too.
I need to head to bed and work this week Mon, Tues, Wed, and Fri.
please pray for Lindsay-she's very ill with a flu like bug and needs our prayers.
love you all!
k
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Pleasing Man or God?
I'm off today. Just enjoying the regular routine of life- the normal: laundry, dishes, kids fighting, did I mention kids fighting???, "Mom, Mom! Mom!" As difficult as it is at times to be a mom, I love being a mom. I wouldn't trade this privledge for the world. I look around the living room right now and see 7 precious faces (Cayla is our live-in child- teee-hee) and think- "Why me?" Especially after the scare with Avry on Sunday, I marvel that God has chosen me and John to raise these kids. Did I ever tell you all that when I was growing up- I did NOT ever dream of having kids- unless I was "going with" a cute boy and the cool thing was to play that little game on paper where you guess a bunch of different things about your future and then you did this number count off thing until each category was reduced to just one thing... I'd always wish for 1 or 2 kids, to live in a mansion, to drive a porshe, to have a dog and a white pickett fence. In highschool, I dreamed of going on to college and making LOTS of money someday. I didn't understand the value of raising children or the importance of investing in their lives.
Many people of questioned me going back to work- which I totally get and am fine with. The biggest thing I'm struggling with is still pleasing man!!! What is my deal!!!??? God, John and I are 100% on the same page, but I still feel like I have to justify our actions to others. For example, many people say "Well, the more money you make the more money you spend."
I'm noticing something about myself... I feel like I have to explain any purchases I make or explain that i found something on sale! I hate that about me!!!! Another example.... do you ever get a new purse and you feel like you have to tell others that someone gave it to you as a gift so they don't think you spent a butt load of money on something that you can't afford??? That's rediculous.. I know, I know!!!! John's truck was on the fritz- needing quite a few repairs.. so John wheeled and dealed with Kristy's hubby, Matt (works for Bob Rohrman's Honda finance dept.) and he traded for a 2001 Honda CR-V. I love it!!! Yes, we probably wouldn't have bought it if I weren't working, but we did and I am working. Why do I feel guilty about this.. like I'm worried what others will think or judge- so silly of me!!!!! We still have an awesome plan to be out of debt in 2 years (other than mortgage obviously). I have to keep remembering that the Bible says do all things for the glory of God and do not live to please man.
New topic.. food. I'm up 3 lbs, but determined to go back down!!! Like many of you have mentioned, there are temptations when you work like eating out!!! PLEASE pray for me!!! I really, really want to continue to be healthy and overcome this eating addiction. I'm walking around the building for 15 min. on my breaks at work, but my goal is to wake up tomorrow morning and walk around my neighborhood for at least 20 min. Ladies, we have a mini-marathon to train for- I got to get my hiney moving!!!!! Next May will be here before we know it and I am not going back on my word :) Through Christ, all things are possible!!!
okay, I'll quit preaching to myself and say farewell!
Blessings today to each of you!
love you,
k
Many people of questioned me going back to work- which I totally get and am fine with. The biggest thing I'm struggling with is still pleasing man!!! What is my deal!!!??? God, John and I are 100% on the same page, but I still feel like I have to justify our actions to others. For example, many people say "Well, the more money you make the more money you spend."
I'm noticing something about myself... I feel like I have to explain any purchases I make or explain that i found something on sale! I hate that about me!!!! Another example.... do you ever get a new purse and you feel like you have to tell others that someone gave it to you as a gift so they don't think you spent a butt load of money on something that you can't afford??? That's rediculous.. I know, I know!!!! John's truck was on the fritz- needing quite a few repairs.. so John wheeled and dealed with Kristy's hubby, Matt (works for Bob Rohrman's Honda finance dept.) and he traded for a 2001 Honda CR-V. I love it!!! Yes, we probably wouldn't have bought it if I weren't working, but we did and I am working. Why do I feel guilty about this.. like I'm worried what others will think or judge- so silly of me!!!!! We still have an awesome plan to be out of debt in 2 years (other than mortgage obviously). I have to keep remembering that the Bible says do all things for the glory of God and do not live to please man.
New topic.. food. I'm up 3 lbs, but determined to go back down!!! Like many of you have mentioned, there are temptations when you work like eating out!!! PLEASE pray for me!!! I really, really want to continue to be healthy and overcome this eating addiction. I'm walking around the building for 15 min. on my breaks at work, but my goal is to wake up tomorrow morning and walk around my neighborhood for at least 20 min. Ladies, we have a mini-marathon to train for- I got to get my hiney moving!!!!! Next May will be here before we know it and I am not going back on my word :) Through Christ, all things are possible!!!
okay, I'll quit preaching to myself and say farewell!
Blessings today to each of you!
love you,
k
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