It's a NEW Day!

Yesterday, a different kind of alien took over.... not the wonderful
Holy Spirit that I spoke of in an earlier post. The monster that
I experienced yesterday was selfish, greedy, gluttonous, mean,
nasty, hateful, and just down right nasty! Yesterday is the worst
day I've had in this entire healthy lifestyle journey. I warned
you all in the beginning that this journey would be ugly at times.
Yesterday, ugliness rose it's ugly head. There is too many examples
to even write about.
The only joy and hope that I have for today is that Jesus died
for my yesterday. Thank you God!!!! I'm laying it down at the
cross because the burden of sin is far too heavy for me to carry.
My Savior LIVES and today is a new day to worship Him,
to glorify Him, to obey Him, to honor Him in all I do, say
and think.
I must continually say... "There is NO turning back" Even,
in the middle of eating something I shouldn't or parenting
in a way that I shouldn't- my God is right there beside
me cheering me on to turn away from wickedness and
walk in righteousness. What a God we serve.
I'll be honest and admitt that when people around me
start to act crazy and turn away from God... it annoys me.
I'm very frustrated and judgmental. Hmmmmmm.... now
I hear God saying "Never stop being that person's cheerleader!"
Yuck... I'm sooooo human! I greatly desire to be as pure, honest,
good, lovely, beautiful, kind, compassionate, selfless, and gracious
as my Savior, but yesterday was an example of my GREAT need
for Jesus and the hope the rests in HIS goodness.
Thank you Jesus!
By the way, concerning yesterday's post about the garbage disposal
vomitting under the sink and our heat pump exploding:
Good news- my hubby who is NOT a plumber at all installed
the new $30 garbage disposal that he bought at Best Buy!!!!
The best part was that he even cleaned up the rest of the gross
mess that was under the sink. Hooray! Also, after John made
several attempts to contact the company who installed the heat
pump and found out that
they were out of business, he called the 1-800 number to the
brand "Westinghouse" of the heatpump. He was directed to a
local dealer of this brand and within 15 minutes a man was
HERE, at my house, to check out the problem. He said it will
be fixed by tomorrow!!! Due to warranty, we shouldn't have
to pay much out of pocket. Thank you GOD!
Today is definately a NEW DAY!
Blessings to all of you and I pray that you have many
"God-sightings" in your path today.
love you,
kara

The Attack

Ever feel as though you are under attack? The
Bible says that we are in a spiritual war. I urge
you to never forget that what you "see" is NOT
always what is really going on in the spiritual
realm!

In the last week: our heat pump, which provides
both air and heat to our home basically exploded!
It's a long drawn out story that many of you heard
at family group on Sun. eve. It's a funny, yet scary story!
As the breaker box and the compressor itself both made
"warning noises".. .John still pressed on to flip the breaker
switch. It finally shot pure black smoke from the top and
then ooey, gooey, black stuff oozed out the bottom. It
was NOT a pretty sight. We had not idea what had just
happened! (By the way, this unit is of course outdoors).
Praise God.. He is good!

Next.. a few days later a mini-tornado vomitted under our
sink as the garbage disposal decided to malfunction!
I have to admitt that it was far worse and more gross
than any child's vomitt that I've ever had to clean up.
Praise God.. He is good!

Then, today I've had an upset tummy... the toilet
and I have become best friends! Not to mention
how "Aunt FLOW" came to visit yesterday and will
be demanding much attention for the next 5 days!
I want her to go away and never return!!!! She is
annoying, sometimes painful, a burden. She even
makes me more hungry. She makes me nuts about
1 week before her arrival. It's as though she sends
a little "I'll be coming soon to visit" forewarning.
John is the best husband in the whole world until
about a week before she comes!!!
Nonetheless, she is a gift from God because it means
that I've had the privledge of birthing children etc!
Gotta run!
k

more

Great news! Jessica, Rita and Mari are joining in also!
It's been brought to my attention that there are various
"rules" involved with the mini-marathon. This is going
to take some training ladies.... there's a minimum of
how fast of a pace you have to keep - BUT do NOT
fear- YOU can do it!!!!!
gotta run

Go TEAM!

Go TEAM! Whao!!! What a response!! As of now, we have myself,Emily,Renay and Tina committed to walking 13 miles in the 2010 mini-marathon!Yahoooooooooo!!!! I can feel the excitement building :) Emily.. you are good at creating a plan to get us ready for this. Can you post on your website how far you recommend that we start walking for Month 1 and so on through month 23? We are on fire ladies.. Burn that fat. Burn that cholestrol. Burn that old LIE that we could never really succeed at this!! It's all right from the pits of hell. Okay.. I know I'm a little bit crazy this morning.

Yes, Renay.. start working on the design... Is it possible that "Freckles" t-shirt and embroidering company over by Lafayette Sports Center would sponsor us???? Wow!!!! Anyone into doing the whole sponsor thing and contacting local companies? With the money raised we could invest it into a "Healthy Hearts Ministry". We are a TEAM! Anyone have connections to TV18?? We are going public baby! There's no turning back.. NONE! NOPE! NONE! NOT possible!!!! Holy smokeroos...We are going to affect this entire community through the power of ALMIGHTY God!!!!!!!! I want to remind all of you that I am just a tool in God's hand and need everybit of your support. I can not do this on my own. I've said it before and I'll say it again...I'm a desperate woman working towards a healthy heart one day at a time! YOU each have a key role in making this all happen as the Lord wills. I give all the glory to God for his grace and mercy in our lives.

By the way... I lost .4 lbs over this past week. I'm thrilled! Yes, it's much lower than the previous week's losses; however,God is on the throne and this is a lifestyle change!! yahoo!!!! I did eat some things this past week that weren't at the top of the healthy food chain and I just started my period today!!! Nonetheless, I'm pumped. I'm committed. I'm a runner. I'm a healhty eater. I'm redeemed and changed by the blood of the LAMB- thank you JESUS!!!!! I just walked 3.2 miles on the treadmill for 63 min. What???I know! I know! It's crazy. I feel like an alien has taken over my body. Hmmmmm. The Bible does say that we are to be like new creatures to this world and our home is HEAVEN. We ARE aliens to this world. So, it looks like instead of being taken over by an alien- I have far better news- IT's the HOLY SPIRIT!!! Yahooo! I never thought being a Christian could be this fun!!!! I can't type fast enough!!!I've got to run.... not literally... just gotta go :) love you all!!! Go TEAM!Kara

We are ONE!

Wow! What a response I'm getting about this mini-marathon
idea. Okay ladies..... this is BIG.... a huge revelation from God...
I am supposed to challenge every single one of you who read this
to committ to WALKING the mini-marathon with Emily and I
in May of 2010. Of course there is always the disclaimer
of if you are prego or have some sort of health condition at that
time, then obviously you aren't held to the fire so to speak :)

Here's the deal pickle: We ARE ONE in Christ. I really do believe
that we are only as strong as our weakest link. This Christian walk
is NOT about "me". Jesus set out to serve ALL and laid his life down
for our sins. Therefore, our pace at the mini marathon is ONLY as
fast as our slowest person. I know this is big.. hard to grasp.. hard
to maybe even comprehend. But God is asking me right now to
put into writing a very UNCOMFORTABLE and somewhat
scary statement.... ( I also challenge each of you to do the same)

"I will encourage, edify, pray for, train with,
any woman who desires to accomplish the goal of finishing the
May 2010 mini-marathon. ***I will NOT be frustrated with
anyone who does not committ. Nor will I be frustrated with
anyone who does committ that is a slow walker :) Because
WE are only as strong as our weakest link and this is NOT
about ME! Women of EFC and the surrounding area are
going to change a community and show that there is HOPE
in Christ to transform our lives . This is NOT about
who finishes this race first...it's about finishing it together.
We have heart. We have courage. We have Jesus!

Oh my gracious.. I'm about to hypervenilate.. God is tugging
at me to get T-shirts made... not in 2010, but NOW. That
means we are going to build a team now and start wearing them
as a testament to the power of God. Yes, hopefully, many of us
will be ordering "smaller sizes" as the time goes by.

Praying. Training. Praising. Encouraging.
Women who race as a TEAM.
Headed to the 2010 Indianapolis Mini-Marathon


maybe on back:
Jesus is the ONLY reason that I am will finish
the race!

This is symbolic because our job in life is to strengthen
the weakest person around us, yet we AVOID it! We hate
it. We hate being inconvenienced!!! We hate weakness...
yet we are all weak and Christ loves the "poor in spirit".
He longs to go after the "weak ones."
Sign me up baby!!! I'm VERY weak!!!

My healthy journey is not about me. Even my health is
supposed to be for the glory of God to minister to OTHERS!
Holy Cowzers! This revelation is huge. I knew all of this..
but now I'm hearing it loud and clear.

We need t-shirts girls. Who is in? Please reply back
to me if you are up to the challenge. If we put it in
writing then we will do it!! (Lord-willing of course)
Amy.. how did you get those tshirts made for $5???

This stinkin' race isn't about what I initially thought it
was about. God is now showing me that it's time....
Christian women... it's time to get to business and really
encourage and edify one another. We are one another's
biggest cheerleaders- so let's do it!!!!!!!
Amen!!!
love you all, K
(by the way, I will not think any less of you if you say -
"Kara, you are crazy! No way!" Nor will I judge you!)

Goals

Today was a first for me. Many of us joined
the March of Dimes March for Babies in honor
of Lydia Grace Focosi. Her legacy will live on
forever and I thank Amy and Mike for allowing
me to part of this journey and walk-a-thon today!

The 4 mile walk went much more quickly than I had
expected. I was actually able to do it with quite umf!
It felt good to weave in and out of the walkers so that
I could keep my heart rate up for a majority of the walk.
Praise God!!!

I'll admitt that I'm a bit addicted... I'm curious as to when
the next one is??? There is no doubt about it that Emily
and I (along with anyone else who wants to join us) will
be doing the mini-marathon in 2010. I know, I know...
some of you think that I belong in the looney ben for
making such a statement. But, what no one knows about
me is that God has been laying this on my heart for well
over a year now! I could never come to grips with this
nudging because I was terrified to fail. TERRIFIED!
Did I mention terrified? YES!!!!

So, now that I'm a runner... I have to start thinking like
a runner, acting like a runner and living like a runner.
There is no turning back... running is my new best friend!
I will start researching and educating myself about running,
jogging and power walking. This is a new high for me!
Most of you know me well enough to know that I'm always
"addicted" to something....RUNNING is it!

I used to burn with envy.. I mean true envy.. when I'd see
a runner. I hated the very fact that they had the ability
to run a distance with endurance, steadfastness, perseverance
and so on! I hated their fit little body.... yuck!!! What arrogant
little "fitness queens or kings" they must be!!!! My thoughts
were nasty and full of envy and jealousy! Thus, my biggest
prayer is that no one will ever feel that way about me!!!
When I become fit and run all the time,
I want to put a sign on my body that says "I used to weigh
272 lbs...so don't hate me because I run!!" Okay.. enough of that.

God can move mountains, because I'm living proof of that!!
I will run.. I will run a mini-marathon... I will train for it...I will
praise God and allow him to work through me for HIS glory!
I long for the day to reach the finish line and rejoice in HIM!
By the way, this is the very first time in my life that I've set a
"long-term goal". That word used to scare me!
Now, if I can just get that mindset in other areas of my life...
keep praying for me.. He is at work!
love you,
k

Uggghhhhh- one of those days!

It's a tough day. I'm having lots of mood issues and it's not fun!
Yes, I am p.m.s. ing - no doubt about it!
I'm praying my way through it and trusting God to take care of
all the details. Don't you hate when you have to admitt that you
are wrong? Man, oh man, do I struggle with pride apparently!!!
I just picked an argument with my hubby today that didn't make
much sense. Even as I made various points, I thought to myself,
"Give me a break Kara. Just hush and apologize!" Ahhhhhhh!!!!
I need to drink more water today too! I lost my big water container
so now I'm down to using a smaller one. I don't tend to fill it
up as often! Enough about me... blessings to all of you!
k

Sweet Treat

Do you ever just need something sweet? Most of you
probably know how to make smoothies and do it
on a regular basis.. but for those who don't or
need a new twist:
You can make an entire batch of smoothies just
by filling your blender half full with fat free
yogurt (today I used key lime pie fat free yogurt).
Then add about 1 c. of frozen stawberries (no need
for ice since the fruit is frozen) then I added about
1/4 c. of frozen blueberries and voulaaaaaa a delicious
sweet treat for me and all the kids. I pour 8 oz. into
a small cup and sip or spoon out. I think it would
be fun to try different flavors of yogurt and bananas
and pineapple would be awesome too. If you are like
me at all, you know how good yogurt is for you but
you may not just sit down and eat a cup of it. Too,
most of us have kiddos that love icecream. As summer
feels like it is here as of today... I really want to NOT
deprive myself of fun treats and plan to be prepared
with these ingredients on hand. I figure that an
entire blender full for our family to enjoy a treat costs
5 yogurts- $2 plus 1/2 c. frozen strawberries- well,the
entire bag is only $3 at Aldi's and I use 1/6 of it .. so....
that would be about $.50 and 1/4 c. blueberries- $.50-
is a grand total of about $3 for the entire Townsend
family to have 8 oz. smoothies! We could even get some
ff coolwhip and dip ontop for an extra fun thing!
Soon, I'm going to be posting what our last months worth
of groceries were plus any eating out compared to before
I began WW... this could be scary to admitt how much I
used to spend foolishly at drive throughs! I can count on 2
fingers the number of times I've eaten a meal from a fast
food restaurant (I don't count Subway as fast food, I'm talking
about the greasy stuff)
See you in a bit at Heart 2 Heart!
love ya,
k

Veggies are Fab!

Real quick.. before I head out the door to MP3.
I've found another amazing veggie dish:
I took 2 bags of frozen greenbeans (in 15 years of
cooking, I've never used frozen greenbeans)
from my favorite store..Aldi's. I heated 1 T.
of EVO in a skillet until hot and then added the
2 bags of green beans (most of your families would
probably use 1 bag, unless you want to make a double
batch and eat some tomorrow for lunch).
Add the frozen greenbeans to the oil and salt
periodically. Keep the skillet on high as you want
to NOT slow cook them, but intsead stir-fry them.
You know how I feel about those little brown edges-
Halllllllaaaaaalllllluuuuujah! I ate a whole bowl full
for my dinner and am stuffed. I bet these
would be great with fresh garlic too. No main meat for
me tonight as I spent a chunk of points this afternoon
on a small avacodo smashed in a bowl with salt, fresh garlic,
1/2 t. lemon juice. Once that is mixed, I add 1/2 chopped
fresh tomatoe. Yummy! I dipped 7 lite tortilla chips in it.
Avacodos are high in points, but well worth it!!!
I call this concoction "Kara's Guacomole".
Later!
k

Me.... A Runner?????

I love all of you!!! I'm just wanting to give each of you who read
my blog a big "e-HUG" today!!! So.. picture a tight squeeze and lots
of love and appreciation from me to you!
Thank you, thank you, thank you, for the encouragement and
cheering. I never knew how important cheerleaders are to a
team. The funny thing is that I'm realizing more and more that
me losing weight and getting healthy is TEAM work. I was
not created by my heavenly father to do this alone, but have
always tried to. I love you all more than words can express.

This morning on treadmill when I hit the last 30 seconds of
doing my jogging portion... I upped it to 5.3!! Yes, you read
it correctly- 5.3!!! I'm a runner and didn't even know it.
This is such exciting news- yahoo. I've secretly always wanted
to be a runner... they appear to be such free spirited, yet
committed individuals. That's me!!! I'm claiming it right now
in Jesus name that I, Kara Townsend, am a runner.
I will start slow- which is what I'm doing and build up.
My long term goal- probably 18 months from now.. is
to run a mini-marathon. Anyone gonna join me? God's
teaching me alot about "running the race of my life" and
that I can NOT do it alone. I need support. I need prayer.
I need to be real and honest. I need to be committed to the
long haul... a healthy lifestyle and body that glorifies
Him.

If you think about a race, it's a moment by moment,
concerted effort to put one foot in front of the other until
you reach the finish line. Our finish line is Heaven... the day
we enter HIS glorious eternal kingdom. Let us never forget
that we are running a race and there is a grand prize at the
end- a prize more valuable than anything we've ever known
or experienced.
So dear friends...let's keep our eye on the prize and run this
race of life arm in arm.
i love you all,
kara

20 is my new Favorite number!

Yes.... it's true! The scales said 252.8 this morning... which
means a grand loss of 20 lbs. of fat and water. I began
screaming praises to God when I read that glorious number
this morning!!!
By the way, yes, i did jump on the treadmill last night
and upped the jogging portion to 5.0- I felt as though
i was flying like an eagle and definately hid under the
wings of God!!! I altered it a bit and did 5 min. at 3.0
then up to 30 sec. at 5.0 throughout the 30 min.
time span. Thank you Emily, for the comment about
my body releasing that chemical that causes you to
crave exercise...I never thought about it like that.
I'm going to quit typing so that I can go jump on that
sweat-producing machine right now!!!!
Keep praying for me...I've got another 102 lbs to go!
love you all,
kara

The New Me Loves Exercise!

What a glorious weekend! I've stayed busy of course,
but am very pleased with my "God- control." Now,
here's the interesting part... I have to admitt that
I've splurged and used almost all of my week's "flex
points" and not necessarily on the most healthy things-
BUT I still feel great and can't wait to report my weight
loss tomorrow morning!! Yahoo!!!

Over the last 2 days, God has done something strange
in me.... He has increased my desire to exercise.
When I first get on the treadmill each day (at 3.3 mph),
I literally dislike it until about 10 min. has passed by.. at which
time I start telling myself "Kara, you only have 10 more
min. to go! You can do it!!" Then, a burst of energy comes
from nowhere (not really, I guess its from God!!). I begin
to feel like that 130 lb. model that I've mentioned before
and I kick the treadmill up to 4.5 and do 30-45 seconds of
jogging. Please do not try to picture this mental image...
it definately isn't pretty as I can feel the fat rolls jumping
and hopping around with a mind all of their own! I try
to breathe "the right way" while praying that my life doesn't
end right there on the treadmill at only 4.5 mph!!!

After about 30 seconds, I lunge forward to hit the down
arrow to reduce the pace to 3.3 mph as quickly as possible
and grab hold of the side handles. Oh, what a pathetic site :)
But, glory be to God that He has enabled me to do it!
So, at this point I'm at approx. 11 min. marker. I then
tell myself "Okay, Kara, now every 5 min. you are going to
jog for 30-45 seconds!" By the time I get to 20 min, I'm
strangely inspired to just keep on going until I see 30 min!!!
Hallelujah!!! The flood gates of Heaven have opened wide
and released some amazing strength and power that I
do NOT possess!!! I eventually start saying "Lord, this
is all for you. This is YOUR body, NOT mine. This is Jesus
on this treadmill, not me!" Then I start a whole conversation
with God about how I know, I know there was never really a
need for Jesus to spend 30 min. of cardiovascular exercise back
in the Bible days because they used to work much harder
and plus He ate mostly bread and fish it seemed like. By
the time I have some far fetched conversation with God,
then the next 5 min. has passed and it's time to kick it
back up to 4.5. Once I hit 30 min... then I slowly take the
arrow down in speed for another 3 min!!! Yahoooo!!!!

I can feel the fat melting away.
You know how I put out a request for those hand held
weights... well, of course the Lord provided a pair tonight!!!
Thank you Tina!!!!!!! So, I stood in front of C.O.P.S. show and
did upper body exercises and then began pretending like I was
a boxer with the hand weights!! Once again, not an attractive
visual- but boy, was it fun!!! Hey Emily... your kick boxing partner
is in training- I'll be as fit as a fiddle before too long (give me till
Christmas and I'll be ready!)

Gotta run.. after the kids get down for bed.... I'm on the treadmill-
no taking Sundays off for me!!!! It's weird, but I actually am
looking forward to the end result- droplets of sweat that sting
my eyes and taste salty when making their way down to my
lip, rosy red cheeks and a "job-well-done" kind of feeling!
Do you think I could do 5.0 at the jogging level?? Yes!!! I'll
let you know how it goes!
Later Gators!
love you all,

k

Doctor's Visit

This morning, I went back to my dr. for the month
check up that she had requested. She was delightfully
surprised to see my weightloss and that I was taking
this very seriously. I told her that I am a rebellious
patient that didn't start taking any of the meds that
she prescribed last month and that I wanted to beg
her to not put me on the cholestrol medicine! She
viewed my numbers and said she'll give me 6 more
months to see what I'm able to do with my eating and
exercise. Yahooooo!! For me, there's something about
the fact that I have the ball in my court to avoid the
medicine. Trust me, I'm not anti-medicine at ALL!
I think it's great and very useful.. but I'm determined
to not go on this cholestrol medicine. My appt. is Oct.
16th at 9:10 a.m.!!! My prayer is that I will have lost
a grand total of 65 lbs. by this appt. That's only 2.5 per
week on average. Come on cheerleaders.. I need a big
YAHOOOOOO!! Oh my goodness, I would be in a size
12ish if that were to happen.. excuse me.... i meant to say
WHEN that happens! Gotta run to do housework and my
exercise still (my appt. was at 8:30 a.m., so i booked
out of the house too quickly this morning!)
My goal today is to up it to 25 min on that treadmill.
love you all,
k

It Takes Time

Thank you Lord, that your mercies are new each day!
I splurged last night on a McD's Grilled Chicken Sand
and yes... I finally cracked.. and I had some fries!!!
I was terrified to take a quick peep on the scales this
morning and to my astonishment I was still down
in weight since Monday!! Can you believe that!!!!?
I went well into my flex points and look forward
to a healthy remainder of the week.
This journey has been so encouraging and although
I'm sure the weight doesn't just fall off over night,
it will eventually. Time will go by and soon you
will all be saying "Kara, where did the other half of
you go?" :) But I realize, it takes time....

Bite and Write is my motto and it's working. There
are many times that I'd rather not admit I took
a bite or 2 of something, but the minute I write it
down I'm okay. You know how the Bible says to
not keep sin in darkness... it really is true. It's like
the more you fool yourself that if you keep something
secret you don't have to face it- the deeper into the sin
you will live. I'm soooooo done with that! Sick of it!!!!
I am FREE!!!!! My redeemer lives and through and by
HIS grace, I will get healthy!!!! Yes, I will!!!
see many of you tonight!
k

Fabulous Flakey Fish!

I just made a deluctable lunch. I used to greatly dislike
salmon- to the point of dreading cooking some for John
who does like it. Then, just recently I realized that I
hated the way I used to prepare it- that was the problem!
Now that I've discovered this "searing" method- I LOVE
it!! Today's new twist is stirfrying green peppers, onions
and fresh tomatoes in a t. of evo. Then scoot them over
to the side and let salmon cook and sear along side of the
veggies. OH MY !!! I love those little black edges on the
veggies and salmon. I can not believe that I don't miss
the starches that I used to eat with nearly every meal.
As the salmon is almost done, I flake it into large "flakes
of fish" so that more black edges can be obtained- that
caremlizing process is the BEST ever!! I can not wait
until this summer when my garden produces lots of
fresh veggies!!! I drank 1 L. of water too- I'm stuffed
to the max. As a matter of fact, I'm considering just
walking on the treadmill for a bit since the kids are
watching a movie :)
Our God is more than wonderful and full of undeserved
grace- I just want to stay hidden under his wing of
protection as I journey to a healthy lifestyle and body!
love you!

Am I hearing you right, God? Serve?????

6 Children for Sale...
Ok.. not really. I am just joking of course. But I must
admitt that I'm not in a very "good mommy mood."
Something crazy has been going on with my body today.
I've eaten healthy and on track, but this afternoon, I
was begging the kids to let me take a cat nap. They
of course took advantage of my desperation and
raided the pantry for snacks. To their credit, they
did actually ask me if they could have crackers
and various lite things- but I couldn't even put up
a fight. Well, let's just say, I chose not to put up a
fight. I only napped on and off for 20 min. and still
felt like I was gonna die.. so, I ate some almonds.
This did make me feel better and more alive.

After dinner, chili and 1/2 peanutbutte sandwiches,
John suggested I go on a walk. Well, I ended up jumping
back on the treadmill instead of a walk outdoors. I only
walked for 12 min (in addition to the 21 min. this morning)-
anyhow, I still feel like crap. I just want to go to sleep.
Actually, I want everyone in this house to go to sleep and
for me to have some quiet time- that would be lovely!!!!
God and I have a few things to discuss as I've been a bit
naughty today. I'm totally purturbed that my loving,
wonderful hubby is doing exactly what normal men do-
he's enjoying some time working on the basement, inhaling
some drywall dust and tidying up to prepare for primer and
paint.
Some of you know, but we are turning our small basement
into a movie theatre. God has provided all sorts of weird
things that you normally don't ever get to have in your home-
like a 6 ft movie screen and frame, like 15 theatre seats,
now I'm just praying for the oh-so expensive movie projector.
As weird as it may sound, I honestly believe God is calling
us to turn this basement into a little movie theatre. Thus,
I will not be surprised when He miraculously provides
a projector. Okay.. so why am I annoyed? John deserves
some free time for goodness sakes! But I'm just a selfish
wife. I want him asking what he can do to make MY
evening better!!!!
EEEEEEEEEEEK! I'm hearing the HOly Spirit right now
and He's reminding me of P. Randy's message of SERVING
when you are down in the dumps!!! What????? SERVE?????
Who am I supposed to serve? Anna???? What????
My smarty pants teenager just ticked me off a little while
ago by pointing out one of my faults or lack of diligency
in cleanliness. I did NOT want her to point out that the
shredder basket fell over 2 days ago under the desk and I've
yet to pick it up. That is just NONE of her business. I will
pick up that paper when I'm darn well ready to pick it up!
Does she not know that I have spent my entire day focusing
on the needs of others? My day briefly: (yes, I'm whining)
breakfast, kids out the door, jump on treadmill and listen
to Johnathan and Emma tattle on one another, get dressed,
load Emma, Avry and Johnathan to go to j's eye's appt.
Then back to get Evan from Kindergarten. Then home for
quick lunch. Back in van to take Emma to preschool. Stop
and see John at Tecumseh. Sit in waiting room for J's one hour
weekly counseling appt. Rush to get Emma. Home to beg for
a short nap. Whip up some chili. Get reprimanded by a 13 year
old. Treadmill and now, here i sit.
So, what on earth am I supposed to do for Anna? Oh, Lord,
I pray you show me, cause I'm not thinking of anything
real kind right now.
AND I can't find my pocket calender. I think I left my
bag at the couselor's office!!!! Ugggghhhh!
Ok- now that i've vented, let me just say- my problems
are minuscul compared to real problems.
I'm going to stop typing so that I can actually hear God more
clearly. Anna's angelic voice is singing "I hope you'll Dance"
by ???? Don't worry, I definately feel small standing beside
the ocean and plan to dance.......
pray for me!!!

Monday's Weigh-In

Hi sweet readers!
Yep.. this morning was another glorious moment on the
scales. I lost 2.5 lbs. bringing grand total to 17.5 lbs!!
My weight this morning was exactly 255.8. Soon, the
250's will be long gone, baby!!!!!!
Praise the Lord!!! I gotta run to make dinner. I'll post
more later. Renay was so anxious to hear about my
weight loss that she called just hours before heading
out to sea on a cruise ship- she's too funny!!! I love
such wonderful support. Thank you to all of YOU!!!
I love you!
k

No More Squirmy Worm Kara

You can't comprehend how THANKFUL
I am for all of the positive and encouraging
comments. When I see you in person, you
just radiate with God's love. How did I ever
get so blessed to have such a cheerleading
squad?

I love the Lord with all of my heart and as
I picture the example that P. Randy shared
this morning during service of laying on the
alter and saying to God "Whatever you want
to do with my life- Here I am."

What's interesting about this statement is that
as I repeated after him (to myself), fear tried
to take a strong grip on me. I knew God was
saying to me "Kara, are you really ready to
see what I'd like to do with your life?"
The answer is YES! Yes, I would!

P. Randy told a story of how President Bush
knew when he was a teen that God had an
amazing plan for his life and that he would
greatly impact the world through politics-
someday he'd be president of the United
States. Now, of course, for me is not presidency,
but it is something huge. Don't get me wrong,
being a mom of 6 and a wife are huge enough
as is. But, God's telling me something more...
I'm starting to hear a bit of it, but it's a little
fuzzy. Please pray for me to hear clearly from
God.

Okay, who am I fooling... here's what it is:
the very thing that stood between God and I,
unhealthy lifestyle, is the very thing that God
wants to use most. Hmmmmm.... His grace is
resting upon me like a warm, cozy blanket. I
knew this day would come, I just didn't know
when . For so long, I fought hard and ate much.
Now, I just want to be real and teach, lead and
encourage other women to press on!!!
I love sharing Jesus with others... but God is
calling me to get "bare naked" with my heart
and bare my soul, my heartaches, my lifelong
battle of food addiction, my innermost longing
to be intimately close to my Lord and Savior.

About 3 years ago, I was told that I have a spiritual
gift of teaching. I blew that off like it was no big deal...
yah, yah, maybe someday I'll lead a small women's group
or something like that. Now, it has become the passion
of my heart... God is opening my eyes to an entire
new purpose for my lifelong battle- to serve and minister
to other women!!!

I'm calling on you to pray that God's will be done!!
I do NOT want to ever be put on a pedestal for "losing
some weight" and encouraging others to get healthy.
P. Randy talked this morning about how God has gifted
us all in different ways and that it's easy to become prideful
when you have a gifting that puts you in the spotlight.
I soooooooo don't EVER EVER want to distract others
from my Lord and King.. I am nothing. I am but a speck
of sand compared to the universe. Yet, my God chooses
to use me???
My heart's cry is to be used by HIM for HIS glory.. not
for my own! If he wants me to wash dishes behind the
scenes and clean toilets.. then I will do it!! I don't ever,
ever want to take a "seat in the teachers chair" so
that I can feel haughty and proud... NEVER! That
terrifies me to think that pride could creep it's nasty
self into my life. YUCK!! But, I do struggle with pride-
just pray that I, Kara, stay out of the way of what
God wants to do through me and around me.
This is it... there are a LOT of topics that I love
teaching about (many of you know that sex is one
of my favorites and I truly enjoyed the "Is there
Really Sex After Kids Study" that Tina led last summer)
but my number 1 passion is to encourage, talk to, support,
pray for, cry with, woman about the battle of FOOD!!!!

I've dreaded actually diving into this because it would
mean that I'm 100% serious about my health, my weight,
my food addiction. If I begin to lead others then there is
truly NO turning back. Every day for the rest of my life
has to be laid on the alter for God to use and work through.
It's not about me. I took a deep breath as I typed that as
it's such a load off my shoulders. I've been carrying this
weight for far too long. God wants to carry my burdens,
not me.. I'm just called to be honest and available for HIS
kingdom's service. Ahhhhh.....

Well, I must go. Pray that I will remain clay in the potter's
hand. I do want to be the "shape" that He's created me to be.
I'm sick of playing potter.. as a matter of fact I stink at it!

Today, I lay on the alter and will not wiggle off like a squirmy
worm. I will hold still and listen and obey. It's so peaceful here
as I hold still and just wait. Pray that I wait patiently on the Lord
and will seize opportunities to share with others as He leads.

Off to family group.... can't wait to see what God does there
tonight!!! Love you all!

Exhausted

Another blessed day of eating healthy... I really can't believe
that I've stuck to this. Well, yes i can! My God is awesome
and faithful. Today has been exhausting as I've spent
the entire day at home with 5 kiddos (Anna wasn't here).
Between cleaning, cooking, cleaning, laundry and refreeing
their arguments... I'm soooo toast! I just want to go to bed
and relax. The problem is that it's only 4 p.m.

Good news- my jeans are getting loose! I can actually pull
them down without unbuttoning them- yahooooo!!!
I'm dwindling away to nothing.. .okay, maybe I'm being a
bit extreme :)

Hope to see many of you tomorrow at church! Let's
worship our KING!
love you, k

Yes, A New Look!

I've decided to be a gardener, thus the new look
of my blog. I love this bright green-it's so cheerful
and makes me happy :)
I know nothing about gardening other than it's work!
I'm under the mentorship of Pat Harrington at church
who is a brilliant gardener and my dear Tina who
is brilliant too. So I am choosing tomatoes,
green beans, carrots, squash. I want to grow blueberries,
strawberries and red or black raspberries too... not sure
how to do that! Any suggestions?
So, when the weather warms up again, all 8 of us will
be out there carefully removing the sod from a large
area. (I heard you can't dig down to deep or you will
remove the topsoil which is a no-no). Weeding will be
fun this summer!! Good exercise!
Gotta run!
k

Hand Held Weights?

Does anyone have some 5 or 8 lbs hand heldweights
that they don't use any longer? I am ready to take this home
exercising to the next level :)
thanks!

Good Eatin'

Last night, I enjoyed a wonderful evening of just
girl time with my aunt robin and Kristy (my cousin,
but we grew up and are like sisters). Kristy turned
27 today- she's sneaking up closer and closer to the
big 3 0. Kristy wanted to check into these new "fit- flops"
that came out recently that supposedly help firm your
legs and hiney if you walk in them regularly. Sounds pretty
cool, huh? Foot Locker, Bath and Body Works, and Macy's
all carry them.

After our mall venture, we decided to go
to one of my absolute all time favorite restaurants-
The Olive Garden!!! Yahoooo!!! Keep in mind I was
so starved that I about puked while waiting for Kristy
to try on some jean capris. As soon as the waitress
took our drink order- which now, I always choose either
diet coke or iced tea AND a large iced water with lemon.
(I don't drink caffeine at home any longer) - I asked her
to immediately bring those yummy breadsticks!
I knew I had read somewhere that their breadsticks
were 3 points each. Keep in mind I had only eaten
5 of my 30 points for the day. So, I was looking forward to
this meal!!! I had one serving of salad with lite Italian dressing
and ONE hot, extremely garlicy (my favorite!) breadstick.
I could have definately chose better on my meal, but when
the waitress described the "specialty meal of the night"-
I didn't realize exactly what it would be. Nonetheless, my meal
came- a bowl of cheese stuffed little pasta rectangles with
shrimp, tomatoes, and some sort of light cream sauce- OUCH!
I began to panic.... Then, I looked over at Kristy's plate
and began to covet what she had ordered!!! I can't believe
this.. but she actually ordered off the kid's menu- the grilled
chicken breast, small portion of spaghetti and sauce, along with
a huge amount of freshly steamed broccoli! All for under $5!!
It was a perfectly balanced meal!
I kept eyeballing her broccoli, and she ate everything else
on her plate except it. I enjoyed my meal and left 2 stuffed
pastas in my bowl along with all the sauce.

*Here's a tip... when you know you should be done eating, but
fear your sinful nature may raise up it's ugly head- immediately
do something gross to your food... like put another plate on top
of it. (Obviously, if you want to take it home.. that's different)
Also, I've decided it's NOT a good idea for me to take home
leftovers supposedly for someone else in the fam. Who
am I kidding? I would devour it before bedtime that very night!

I can guarantee you that if I would have looked at those last
few bites - I would have eaten them for NO good reason.
I was stuffed... yet Kristy's fresh broccoli that literally had
NO butter or grease on it whatsoever... it was calling my name.
I heard, "Kara, eat me! Eat me! I'm worth 0 points and you
need the vitamins and nutrition of me!" So I did. I felt
as though I was eating mini-trees and choked them down.

I knew dessert would be coming as we were celebrating
Kris' birthday! She loves the very dessert that I do...
White Chocolate Mousse Raspberry Cheesecake-
I could hear the angels singing "Hallalujah!!!"
I wanted Kristy to order her own piece and for
A.Robin and I to split one...but God saved me
and spared me quite a few points. Instead, Kristy
said that all of us could share one piece- brilliant!!!

The dessert arrived and it looked to die for. I
immediately made an assessment of it's most
fattening parts - The real whipped topping and the
chocolate crust would be the 2 areas for me to avoid!
So, I had a plan and slowly ate only 4 small bites of
the cheesecake. I literally savored every bite.

Praise the LORD for giving me HIS control at that
meal, cause let me tell you what I used to eat at the
Olive Garden-
2 servings of Salad
at least 3 breadsticks
Meal: Parmesan Chicken with fettucine ALFREDO
(a heart attack waiting to happen!)
OR Renay got me hooked on Portabello Mushroom
stuffed Ravioli with a creamy sun-dried tomatoe sauce.
Then, for dessert- I could hold my own for sure! A slice
of Black Bow tie Cheesecake or the White Choc. Rasp.
Cheesecake. Hmmmmmm... let's wonder why I weighed
272 lbs????
Now, I couldn't exactly find the points for what I did eat,
but I did a pretty good guestimation and know that I was
within the 25 points I had remaining. If not.. so I used
my exercise points or flex points- BIG HARRY DEAL!!
That was some good eatin'!!!!!!

FYI- side note.. if you want your hubby to take you on
a cheap, but healthy date... Subway is running that promo
of buy any footlong sub for only $5! Even if you added Baked
Lays and a drink- he'd spend under $10.

Blessings to all of you and have a healthy and safe
weekend!
**Please remember to pray for Renay, Tim and TJ as
they will be on a cruise in the Bahamas Mon-Friday of
next week!
Kara

Food's Rightful Place

I have been crazy these last few days.. just busy!
This morning my dear friend Renay called me to
ask if she could stop by with some things and see
our newly decorated bedrooms. Of course I was
thrilled, but at the same time turned into the
white tornado :) I know she didn't expect it to
be perfect, nor was it, but still... you want things
to look good for such a grand introduction.

Food is beginning to take it's rightful place in my life-
which is for mostly nutrition and some pleasure.
Whereas, the old Kara LIVED to eat!!! As I type
this, I have a delightful small bowl of dry Fiber One
Honey Granola Cluster cereal in front of me and I'm
snacking with such joy!

MAJOR RED FLAG- I'm telling you.. I'm convinced
that when your mood gets suddenly VERY weird
and you feel like you could explode or pass out-
then you need to eat a little fat!!! It happened to me
again yesterday. John got home and I wanted to
bite his head off over NOTHING- his very appearance
annoyed the dickens out of me. I quickly recognized my
need for some fat- 1 piece of wheat bread with 1 t.
of peanutbutter does the trick!
So, my latest realization is truly to listen to your body.
Emily has a great blog at www.asprinkledheart.com
where she also recently posted about listening to your
body.
Here's a thought.. so, I found out a little while ago that
A.Robin wants to take Kristy and I out tonight for Kristy's
27th bday!! Fun!!!! So, immediately I began dreaming
of a delicious dinner. Thus, I've decided to just barely eat
enough before dinner to not make me looney! (Also, I plan
to pack a small ziplock of fiber one cereal in my purse to
snack on the drive to eat so that my body doesn't think
it's starving) I plan to truly enjoy my evening all within
my points!!! I can't wait!!!! One of my biggest excitements
is that "I feel in control" of the food, verses it controling me.
Gotta run... we have a team meeting for Johnathan this
afternoon, it should go well.
I'll update you all later!
k

Meal and Snack Ideas

A delightful new dinner idea in
less than 10 min...
I seared salmon in a bit of olive
oil and then sprinkled it with
salt, pepper and garlic. While it
was cooking, I cut up a head of
fresh cabbage and put into a
separate pan with 1 T. of EVO
drizzled on top, salt, pepper and
garlic. I stir-fryed the cabbage.
Sidenote.. if you don't know difference
between stirfrying and just cooking
it.. stirfrying is cooking it at a hotter
temperature (I use about 8 on my
electric stove) and only cooking it
until it's just done.. it will still be
a bit crisp. Those delicious little
brown edges will begin to appear-
yummmmmm!! Soooooo easy!
I ate about 3 servings of veggies
by eating a 1/2 plate full of cabbage
and then my salmon. I think this has
been the most delicious meal yet!!!
By the way.. the old Kara would not
have dreamed of eating this meal with
out a starch of some sort. But, I have
to admitt that I am stuffed and very
pleased!!!
Snack ideas: Today I had 3 c. of popped
light popcorn from Aldi's- YUMMY!!!
An apple
A small bowl of ham and beans from
the other day's dinner.
The interesting thing that I'm finding is
that I need to think outside the box on
the fact that a small bowl of beans is a
very filling and healthy snack. I used
to only think that foods like that were
served at meals.
Also, I love a 1/2 c. of Raisin Bran (Aldi's
of course.. for only $1.59 per box!) with
some skim milk- delightful snack. Once
again.. this doesn't have to be a breakfast
only food :)
Also, you can eat just a few bites of
a container of yogurt throughout the day.
I just sit the open container in fridge and
take little amounts throughout day. I'm
hoping that this new eating smaller amounts
more often is gonna kick my metabolism into
high gear!!!
Gotta run Anna and girls
to MP3... Love ya!

God Can Even Use Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwiches

Last night, I almost had a mental breakdown!!
Yes, it's true.

The sad part was that it was over an icecream cone.
John and I were trying to think of a CHEAP date
last night that of course included our 11 year old
nephew Johnathan (he can't be left at home with
Anna due to strict rules we
are under until we adopt him)... So, I was happy with
going to Menards and just looking around. Yes, very
pathetic. I had saved up some WW points and was
really looking forward to buzzing up to McD's for a 3
pt. icecream cone. I had eaten NO fattening stuff
all day long and actually was starting to feel a bit
moody over the lack of fat in my food choices.
So, I hinted to John that after Menards I'd
love a cone.
(We are trying not to spend extra money until
payday on Fri.) So, to his credit... he was
trying to be wise with money. We bought
nothing at Menards except 2 little
snack things that Anna needed for play rehearsal.
Sure enough, when we left Menards John did NOT
turn towards McD's but went to Dollar General to
get Emma some cough syrup.
I was fuming.
He kept asking me what was wrong and I felt
like someone had died. That's how upset I was
over a stinkin' icecream cone.
Then, I realized I could at least get a sweet
treat in DG. We pulled up to DG and he put
the van in park as to say,
"Go ahead and go in by yourself Kara." That just further
infuriated me!!! How dare he not want to go in with me
as I needed both the comfort of his presence while
picking out a treat. As I entered the store, I pondered,
"I'm going to just get a box of cherry poptarts and then
after checking out, shove them in my purse so he
doesn't see them!" As I rounded the snack aisle,
low and behold John sneaks up behind me and says
hello, i came in!!
Could it get any worse? Now, my plan to be deceptive
was ruined!!!!! He had the nerve to start salivating
over those gross Archway cookies... Lemon ones,
Rasberry filled ones, Strawberry ones- ewwwww!
Gross!!!
So, I ignored that and just picked out some cough
syrup for Emma. Then I began reading the nutritional
information on the back of the candy bars- Oh MY !!!!
They were outrageous and soooooooooo not worth
the amount of points. I began to feel desperate
and like there was no hope to reasonably satisfy my
sweet craving. Forget the poptarts, now JOhn was
right there with me and I couldn't bring myself to
go get them.
Finally, I just gave up and reluctantly went to the
check out. Everyone around me began to annoy me.
The cashier was attempting to amuse the customer
in front of us and I hated every minute of it!!! I had
NO desire to invite her to church or anywhere for
that matter!!! I could have began crying because all
I had wanted was a stupid icecream cone and now
I felt as though I was on my "emotional deathbed!"
So, we traveled home with me gazing out the window.
I did try to pray and begin to plead with God that
maybe somehow he'd have a surprise waiting for
me at home. Possibly my dad could have stopped
by for a treat for the kids that I could indulge in???
We got home and no surprise. NONE!
If I would've had any extra money to spare, I would
have gotten in the driver's seat, left John and
Johnathan home, and driven back out to eat
something!!!!!
At this point, I was dreaming of fattening, greasy
food that would probably give me diarrhea!!!!!
(I had no money to spare, and knew John would have a
heartattack if it did that!)
I was so depressed that I went straight to
my bed and laid down, I couldn't even post last
night - I was soooo mad!!!!
John snuggled in with me and tried to
get me to laugh.. it was NOT going to work!!!!
Then, Avry woke up and I had to go give her some
medicine. As I stood in the kitchen, I thought "This
is rediculous, Kara. Just eat something with some
sweetness in it and go back to bed a little more
pleasant. So, Avry and I had a delightful peanut
butter and jelly sandwich with some milk-
ahhhhhhh... at last my craving was satisfied.

Now, you may be wondering if this was all in my
head.. but I seriously don't think it was. I had
sooooo deprived my body all day of enough fat
that my mood was out of control!!! Literally,
I felt like a different person when I went back
to the bedroom after eating that sandwich.
I went from being the snaggle-toothed
tiger to the cheerful, loving and reasonably minded
Kara that most of you know. Big lesson learned-
listen to your body!!!! Because this is a
lifelong journey for me and a lifestyle change-
I have to be sure and
not deprive my body of nutrients it needs.
All in all, I am thankful for eating the sandwich
and milk over the icecream cone
(although it cost me alot more points)
because of the nutrition in it.
Some of you have asked about my food journal
and how I've lost 15 lbs. already (keep in mind
that fat people lose more weight more quickly!)..
but, I honestly was
embarrassed to tell you all that I've really eaten
"bad" things in moderation. I didn't deny my
cravings all together. That's the hard thing
about changing your lifestyle is that extreme
measures are sometimes difficult to maintain.
I used to be a "pro-dieter". I could
lose weight quickly, but then would gain it back
along with a few extra lbs. So, I do have to
continue watching my cholestrol- tryglic-
to be specific, but I
refuse to EVER, EVER, EVER turn back to
being this overweight. I said good bye to
the 260's forever and ever.
God can and will provide all of my needs.. I guess that
sandwich was what He wanted to give me
over the cone.
I do want this temple body of mine to glorify my
heavenly Father.. I really do. But last night, I could
have just laid down and died over that stupid icecream
cone and yet, God provided an even better treat-
peace, joy and happiness and in a peanutbutter
and jelly sandwhich!

Fight Is Over

I hate the word "fight." But to call it any less
would have been a lie. Yes, it's over and has
been laid at the cross by both John and I.
Thank you for your prayers. I love my
husband so dearly and want to continue
to grow in MY area of pride. YUCK!!!
It's funny how church brings you back
into focus. As we were listening to P.
Randy's sermon, John gave me that
sheepish smile and asked for forgiveness.
Darn it! That pride rose up in me again
in that very moment because I wanted
to be the one to ask first!!!! Is that not
rediculous???!! Yes, it is!!! We had a
delightful afternoon after admitting our
sinfulness. 1 John 1:9 says "if you confess
your sins, He is faithful and just to forgive
you and to cleanse you from all
unrighteousness." That's one of my
life verses- I cling to it! Man, it got
ugly the other day- but God has cleansed
us and we are clean!
Blessings today to each of you!!!

Weight and Guns

I've waited for this day for an entire week- weigh in day!!!
Praise the Lord for another 4 lbs that is GONE!!! It's
fun to move that little weight tracker.

Yesterday was super busy with finishing the painting in
Johnathan's new room. He has a theme of American
fighter jets, bald eagle and the american flag-
it's very cool! We moved him in yesterday and the
smile on his face was well worth all the sweat and labor
put into this project. By the way.... I know many of you
were probably laughing at me when six weeks ago I
said "We just need to put up a wall and put in some
doors to create these 2 new rooms." What an
undertaking!! You could tell I had no experience in this
area of home improvements. A GI-NORMUS thank you
to Tina, Mike Keith, Lee Tomlinson, Greg McDaniel, my dad,
my aunt robin, and my mom and Anna's friend Cayla for
hours of service on this project. We can not express our
thankfulness in words. I truly never dreamed of having
5 kids, let alone adopting one more!!! Some of you can
recall conversations a while back where I stated that
I never could adopt a child, nor would I ever have
the desire to. Never say never saith the Lord!!!!
My number one thank you of course goes to my Lord
and Savior- Jesus. The one who makes life worth
living. The one who makes my stressful, yet fulfilling
life beautfil in HIS site!
I truly adore all 6 of my kids and can't imagine what
life would be like without Johnathan as our son.
This past week has been full of joyful moments that
I see him really bonding with the other kiddos and
"fitting in."
As John scurried around the kitchen a few days ago,
Johnathan got his attention with "Uncle John, you
are going to be my first real dad."
My heart melted and John stopped dead in his tracks
to acknowledge such a heart-felt comment and
said "Yes, I will be."
Evan and Johnathan play for hours on end outside with
light sabers. If any of you find these at garage sales
for $1 or less- could you please grab em!!! I'll pay you!!
The neighbor hood boys join in the "Star Wars" game
they play. Also, I am a HUGE supporter of pretend
guns........ I agree whole heartedly with Dr. James
Dobson, Focus on the Family, that boys playing with
pretend guns is not the cause of senseless, violent
acts. God created them to be warriors, protectors,
and conquerors. Before Evan became of age to play
with pretend guns and other weapons.. I thought
of course we would NOT allow such behavior!! Then,
God opened me and John's eyes to the heart
that God has put in little boys. Thus, we whole heartedly
support this. OF COURSE, we monitor the heart issues
behind this type of play. We do not condone grossem
acting out... but the idea of war has been around since
the beginning of time and I do believe is part of God's
heart. All of that to say... if you see pretend Guns
and swords VERY CHEAP at garage sales- could you
grab those too?
Sidenote- if you are anti-pretend weapontry- i
respect you 100%! As a matter of fact, I teach my
kids that when we play with other kids, we go by
their rules in order to show a submissive and compliant
heart.
Sorry for preaching about pretend guns... don't know where
all of that came from!
Off to another day of eating healthy for the kingdom of God.
Keep praying that i have that ever-so-desired God-control
today :)

Yucky Day....Not the Food though...

My heart is heavy for a reason far from eating.
Today was a delightful day of eating healthily and
even a one mile brisk walk around my neighborhood
with all of my 10,000 children... well, actually 6.
Aunt Robin was over today.. helping with my never
ending decorative projects. She walked with me
and was quite an uplifting spirit for me today.
John and I had a tough day. I won't go into any
details in order to respect him- but it was really
really yucky. I haven't had a day like this in
years!!!!! I found myself agitating him in the middle
of his frustration- not proud of that behavior!!!
We're getting ready to "talk" when he gets out
of the shower in a minute. We've been mad literally
all day today- totally NOT fun!!
Please pray that God will break down both of our
pride. I really want to be right.. more than you can
imagine.
Well, the water shut off... gotta run.
love ya, k

God- Control Today!

I'm back! Yesterday, was busy and a bit depressing in the
evening. I ate some chili that I made after I told myself
that I wasn't going to eat for the rest of the evening!!!
That led to a few tootsie rolls. BUT .... today is a new day!!!
I was tempted by the thought of making scrumptious
pancakes this morning for breakfast and my 13 year
old said as I held up the box to view the nutritional
info, "Mom, don't make those! They are horrible for you.
Do you realize one serving is really only a 4" pancake?"
OUCH!!! That would mean that the amount of pancakes
that I was truly looking forward to would have cost me
way too many points!!! Plus a dab of marg. and syrup...
yikes!!!
Thus, I went with scrambled eggs: 1 whole egg =3 pts plus
3 egg whites= 1 pt. for a grand total of 4 pts. I drizzled some
ketchup on top and yummy!!! I am actually stuffed after
eating those eggs and drinking 1 L. of water. Hooray!!!
The old me would've flipped out at the thought of eating
scrambled eggs without toast... but i did it!!
By the way for all of you who are wondering if I followed
through with mopping the kitchen/laundry room floor
(I hope you are wondering.. that's what you are here for-
to hold me accountable!!)... Anyhow, YES!! It got done.
Why do I dread doing something that only takes about
15 min. and that makes me so happy when it's done?
We have one of those industrial type mops with the huge
bucket on wheels (I think John got it from the mall cleaning
people- that's how giant it is!) Needless to say, it covers more
area than my scrawny older mop.
I must get going... I have to pick up Abby, Evan and
Jonah and Lindsay (Heather's 2 kiddos) in town.
We're just planning to get Johnathan's bedroom done
today- pray that actually happens!!!!
Praying for a lot of "God-Control" today- eat healthy,
NO turning back!!!!!!!
love ya, k

Ordinary Me

It's been a busy day and I'm just getting to posting!
You have no idea how freeing that was yesterday to
write about the fact that I'm a people pleaser.
God has blessed me with strong, bold friends like
Tina to challenge me to think about the deeper
questions to why I behave the way i do :) She's so
good at calling a spade a spade.
I know what I want to be and that is "Christ-like."
The more I grow in this journey, the more I realize
how much I don't know. I hate when I'm feeling
distant from God... it can happen so quickly. In this
very moment I feel a million miles away from HIM.
Then I start to feel like a hypocrite. Then I start
thinking that maybe I just "pretend" to know
God, but don't really have a clue. All of this
negativity starts bombarding me and I feel like
I'm drowning in a pit of poop, or better known
as the lies of the enemy.
I start to dread waking up tomorrow to face
mundane, everyday tasks. I wonder if I'll fail again
tomorrow and avoid doing all the housework that
should be done asap...like mopping the kitchen
and laundry room floors!!! By the way.. yes,
hold me accountable to that. Speaking of my laundry
room floor- I hate those stupid cats of ours. They are
a pain in my rump!!! I know some of you love cats
and dogs and all different kinds of animals- but let
me tell you that my 2 cats are the messiest litter-users!
I thought I'd be smarter than the average bear and buy
those handy dandy cat pan liners. Well, I'm not sure
what type of a giant cat litter pan they are made for,
but they are way too big! So, what do i do???? I try
to fold down the sides and this apparently creates
a reservoir to hold cat whiz that misses the pan- I
don't know what their problem is!!! No one wants
cat pee on their floor. Do any of your cats have a
problem peeing in the proper place? Isn't this
supposed to be a God-given, natural ability of
a cat's perspective on peeing!!????
Ask Renay what my reaction
is when I go into the laundry room to clean it up...
I about puke!!! Renay has witnessed by telephone
my gag reflex when approaching the "whizzed" area!!!
Ewwwwwwwww! I'm not verbally abusive in general,
but I have to confess that these cats have gotten an
earful of verbal badgering by me! I am afraid that
someone is going to call CPS on me (Cat Protective
Services) Teeeeheeee!
Ok, enough of that! Does anyone have a good point
value for Arni's cheese pizza? I cashed in some flex
points on that baby tonight!!! Now, I know some of
you do not touch your flex points- hip hip hooray!
But I think my body needs the extra so it doesn't
go into shock and I have to remember this is a
lifestyle change NOT temporary diet. I have
said this over and over and over to myself so that
I don't beat myself up over these indulgences. This
is working for me as it may not work for you.

I'm so thankful for this blog... because I have
an outlet. Just in the short while that I've been
typing, I already am feeling God's peace come
over me and His love surrounding me. All i have
to offer is just me.... ordinary ole me. Nothing special,
nothing spectacular, a regular roller coaster ride
of a life- simple ole me. Thank you for loving me
right where I am. I know you love every inch of me,
fat and all. And I appreciate that, I really do.
Good night friends!

It's Hot in Here!

Well, ladies.. beware.. I think God is igniting a hot,
passionate fire, not only in myself, but within
many of you!!!! Do you remember the old highschool
cheer "It's Hot, It's Hot, It's Hot in here. There
must be a Christian in the atmosphere!"
(I obviously added "Christian") Let me just
encourage you that if you have ever struggled
or are struggling with food addiction and
unhealthy lifestyle choices- NOW is the time
to jump on the wagon- cause let me tell you
baby, this train is moving!!! The cool thing
about all of this is that NO ONE judges another
person- we are all sinners saved by the
grace of God and do not put ourselves on any
sort of pedestal. A sweet friend commented
today on the discipline I have had these last few
weeks.... I never thought that "Kara" and
"disciplined" would be in the same sentence!!!!
Let me encourage you that GOD 100% is
running this show, cause I am the one who used
to pull through McDonald's and order a
#12 (Fish fillet combo) EXTRA bonus size it
with a diet coke and a cheeseburger to further
satisfy my tastebuds!!
Then tack on a set of cherry pies for dessert
(you gotta order 2, cause they are cheaper
that way!) ha!!!!!!!!
What is the secret to discipline??... I'm seeing
that it is plainly a gift from God. I can't earn it.
The answer to this daunting question is GET
REAL with YOURSELF and tell close friends.
The scariest thing about confiding in someone
is that you'll be judged horribly "when you fail"...
the sad thing is that this is such a lie!!!! We must
transform our thinking and realize that PRIDE
stands in the way of us living the full, abundant life
that God has for us!!! (I am sure there are
many other things that can get in the way..
but PRIDE is what keeps us from getting real
and going to God in complete brokeness.) At
least for me, this is all true. I hate with a passion
giving up over-indulgence- it has been my
bestest friend all my life... my secret intimate lover,
if you will. Yet, I'm walking in this newness of life
that is amazing. God does really keep HIS
promises, yet I forget that all the time! I
pridefully hang on to things and want to handle
it alone or face it "tomorrow".... which we all
know that tomorrow will never come!
So.... here it is : I'm spilling my guts here:
I'm a people pleaser- I hate for anyone to
be upset, uncomfortable, or the worst thing
for me is to be the mediator between people
that don't get along- it sucks!!! Sorry, for that
word!!! I want to play God and try to smooth
everything all the time and God is calling me
to just STOP it and stay out of the way of God
growing and maturing others in an uncomfortable
atmosphere. I'm learning to be more decisive
and lead people in a direction I believe
God is calling for, not what will please man!!! :)
It feels so good to type this all out!
Also, I need to pray more fervently for my
children and husband. I do NOT take this as
seriously as it is! I just tend to pray when I see
something going the wrong direction.
Also, I just want the Holy Spirit to poor out of
me uncontrolably- I want to be so on fire for
God and His Word that I hear a ssssssizzzzle
whenever I hug someone! I am very judgmental
in my heart of others... If I could just spend
all the time and energy that I put into thinking
about "other's and their lives" into my own
walk with God- I would be far better off and
have more time and desire for God's Word. I
want to sweat scripture, I want to breathe scripture,
I would eat it if i could.... tee heee- I want
to soak in all that HE has for me.
This love affair that I've had with food for
years is going to be replaced with a new deep,
desire for God's Word- to read it, hear it,
live it and walk it out!
Just today at the mall play place.. as Amy, Jamie,
and I were still there:
God opened a door of conversation with a lovely
lady who just moved to town about 1 month ago..
3 kiddos, stay at home mom and just happened
to be greatly missing her church from Warsaw....
hmmmmmm... you know I had just the suggestion
for her - my church!!!!! EFC rocks!! Sure enough,
who walks by but Darla and Kirsten (which was
moments after I told her about our strong
children and youth programs). Of course,
I had to wave them down and introduce them
to her.. by the way her name is Nikki Hurley-
pray that she and her family will come to church
on Sunday!!! You all know how nutballish I can
get so as I was soooooo excited I told her "I hope
you don't think i'm weird, I'm just trying to
obey God." Her response was sooooo comforting.
She said "No, not at all!!! You act just like I did
about my old church in Warsaw!!" She was just
crying the other day about missing her church
family and wondered if anything existed here in
Lafayette like what she do badly was missing!
Holy smokeroos! Yes, it does!!!!!! by the way, Yes..
some of you go to other churches besides mine-
and I think that's awesome too!!!!!
So..... I'll see many of you here in a bit at
Heart 2 Heart- I hope there's a fire hydgren nearby...
cause we are gonna be HOT, HOT, HOT tonight-
on fire for the Lord!!!! love you!

Leftovers?

Well, by the grace of God I have .5 pts leftover at the end of
this day.. .teehheeee!
I'm sure that .5 amount got eaten somewhere in the day :)
I'm tired and going to bed....... Good night dear friends!
love ya, k

I knew the moment would come...

... that a craving would flaunt itself like a dangling carrot- The day
was going great, all was well until I walked in the laundry room
and saw the freezer standing open. There it was- the remainder of
the DQ Icecream Cake from Avry's bday (side note... big praise
that there was actually any leftover, cause that says I had
not eaten it since Mar. 21st) I quickly shut the door and tried to put it out
of my mind as I knew the points for some of that icecream
would be salty in price! I had promised Evan and Emma
a treat anyhow, so I pulled it out and quickly informed myself
that I was only going to indulge in the chewy, chocolate portion...
you know.. that middle part that melts in your mouth. I ate
2 bites of it and was happy, a smidge of the choc. icecream and some
of the vanilla... all in all.. I'm guessing the splurge was about 3 points.
Then, I allowed my flesh to take over and suddenly
a few other odd things sounded good like a ham sand. and an
"egg in the basket". I tried to lunge for the lemon water but it
was a short satisfaction. I then found myself making a skimpy
peanutbutter and jelly sandwich. Ahhhhhhh! I was out of control.
I quickly ran to the computer to log in everything I just ate and
it wasn't pretty! Now, I have 5 pts. left for dinner tonight. So hold
me to it... I'll post tonight at bedtime what I ate. There is NO turning
back. Now I'm stuffed and miserable- yucko!!!!
I thought this post was important so you all remembered how human
i am........to God be all the glory for keeping me humble!!!!

In Regards to recent comments and ?'s

You all are the absolute best friends that anyone could
ever ask for!! Seriously!! You are flooding me with love,
kind words, encouragement- such a glimpse of Heavenly
things. We are in this together and I will fail without
your support- God is using YOU in magnificent kingdom
work :)To answer some questions: I made the pickle
roll-ups with light cream cheese.
Amy- thanks for complimenting my budgeting ability
with meals.. but let me tell you- I soooo struggle with
spending money in general. I hate money!!! I hate it!!!!
I should say, I hate the temptation that comes with
having ANY money!! I can have $2 in my pocket and I'm
thinking "What kind I buy on the value menu and McD's"
I can't wait for Em to teach the chapter about "Managing
Your Money" on Wed. night. Emily is one of the most
disciplined gals I know when it comes to money and I sooo
admire that about her!!! (Yet she's so humble!!!)
I'm dying to buy some of that spray dressing that emily
is talking about- yum!!! Em, it's totally ok that your
ideas don't come with point values- no biggie!! they are
all such wonderful, healthy meals and I love hearing all
about em!!!
Congrats to Nay for already losing 3 lbs..it's not even been
a full week and she's droppin' weight like a mad woman :)
I'm still laughing over the "homemade 100 calorie packets"
that she made and put back into a wiped out clean original
pkg- BRILLIANT!!
You are all so smart and creative- I love it!!!
Have a glorious day and eat healthy!

Inconvenient Obedience....

1 Peter 4:
1Therefore, since Christ suffered in his body, arm yourselves also
with the same attitude, because he who has suffered in his body
is done with sin. 2As a result, he does not live the rest of his
earthly life for evil human desires, but rather for the will of God.

This verse just smacked me in the face! I must suffer and deny
myself fleshly pleasures of over eating and live out the will of
God. P. Randy's message on Sunday was also a reflection of
this concept. He kept saying over and over- obeying God is
not convenient. It's not always convenient going to buy
healthy food when I'd rather eat junk. It's not always convenient
to prepare the food when fast food is much quicker.

I'm such a rebel at heart. Some of you may not know
this about me. but I am! I'm one of those secret rebels...
the kind that used to spuratically go out to eat
when my husband told me to not spend extra money.
My favorite restaurant to be rebellious in is El Rodeo...
ahhh... I love that food! It's been about 3 weeks
since I've been there and probably won't go for quite some time.

Actually, I think one of the root sin heart issues for me
with being unhealthy and over weight is rebellion. I
used to want my body to be MINE and NO ONE to
tell me how to eat, how to exercise, how to take care
of it! MINE, MINE, MINE!
Hmmmm.. sounds rather childish now that I see it
typed before me. This body belongs to Christ...
the one who died for this unhealthy body!
So, today.... God, do as you will with this broken body
of mine.... and change my rebellious heart daily,
renew my spirit today that I might be an encouragement
to others, a blessing to others, a prayer warrior, a
godly wife and mother, an overcome of sin.
Got to get kids off to school........