Good Ole Fashioned Cry

A good cry is worth a lot. Do you ever find yourself crying and thinking "what is wrong with me? why am i so emotional?" I tend to want to make excuses for a good cry. Excuses like "Oh, I'm just hormonal" or "I think I'm close to THAT time of the month." Why can't I just be fine with a good ole solid cry? Well, last night- finally I just let it all out and cried and cried and cried. I almost hypervenilated, but it felt good! There was a burden lifted from my shoulders as I sobbed. Anyone who knows me well knows that I rarely ever sob, I'm just not a weepy person in general.

I realized that life is passing so quickly. God holds everything in the palm of his hands and knows the pains of my heart. He also knows when I try to bury those pains. Have you ever let your thoughts take you to a deep dark place of sadness, lonliness, desperation? I had convinced myself that one of my family members didn't care about me anymore and that I didn't hold a special place in their heart. I started to picture the future and how I would become just a nobody to that person. I was so wrapped up in my own sad fantasy that I didn't even think to just pray about the situation. How silly of me. Seriously! God wants to comfort me and restrengthen this relationship and He loves for me to just pour my heart out to him. So, today I'm choosing to release all of those thoughts and lay them at Jesus' feet. He says to cast all our cares on Him for He cares for us. So, there it is. God, I'm waiting on you to strenthen my relationship with this person and I trust you have what's best for me in store.

Not sure what God has in store for me today since I can't do laundry or dishes. There is a main valve flushing occuring in our neighborhood community well water system. Thus, the water is disgustingly orangish/brown. Hopefully, by this afternoon it will be all flushed. So, today...I'll just watch for Him to move.
k