Spiritual Awakening

Sometimes you don't know how dead you are until you've been made alive again. There are times in my life when I am more alive..the sky is a little bluer...the grass a little greener....the air a little fresher. However, I'm taking note that these times usually come after a very dark time....when the sky is grey...the grass is brown and full of weeds....and the air is heavily polluted.

Less than one week ago I was lower than low. A spiritual awakening seemed miles and miles away...nearly unattainable. My wretchedness had boiled over with ugly comments to my precious hubby, sarcasm that could slice a soul in two, a desire to just dissappear for a while, a swelling discontent heart- things were a bit ugly to say the least. I could barely muster up the prayer to ask for His help to change my heart. Lies were swarming through my mind like a mad bee's nest. The lies became so loud and distracting that I questioned my entire purpose in ministry. I wanted to hide because what I once heard God say appeared to be a deception.

Bottom line- I became ME focused instead of God-focused.

I began to beg God..."please, please bring back my passion to evangalize. Bring back the boldness that was not worried about what other's would think. Bring back my passion to teach and speak to women. Lord, bring the opportunities that are of you." The buzzing of the bees were distracting, loud and mind-cluttering. The lies were continually NON-stop! "Kara, get real...no one will want to listen to an over-weight crazy like yourself! You are going to flub everything up and won't convey salvation in a clear way, etc...etc...etc. Bla...Bla...Bla!"

Then, the God of the universe, the lover of my ugly soul, the forgiver of my disgusting selfishness, the perfect creator of all good- He chose to scoop me up, cradle me and love on me!
He revealed truth to me and let me tell you....Oh, Oh...how sweet truth is and how freeing.

There was a course of events that He used specifically that I will not go into. But these led up to last night-
downtown Lafayette
Lafayette Theatre
6-8 p.m.
Elston Family Church- Night of Worship
He rocked my world.

I want to be healthy...if for NO other reason so I can bounce up and down and not feel that my rolls are on their own gravity program :) I want to jump higher than Heather (you had to be there...teeheee) a person half my size can easily spring themselves several inches higher than me! I want to dance my toosh off and not tire easily. Ideally, I would not be dizzy and light-headed at the end of some rockin' awesome worship :)

Side note- I 100% used to be convinced that people that acted the way in which I am describing were PURELY nuttso! Crazies! Wack-jobs! Deceived! How could a godly, conservative Christian act so "free?" Remember...I spent 9 years in a church where swaying back and forth might have been considered too radical! And raising your hands....uh....NEVER! Veering from the songlist and time allotted for worship- No way!

But last night- God rocked the house. He blew the top off. He said "Worship ME and Me alone!"
He wooed the spirits of many. He caused me to yell out to Him with affirmation of how great HE is. I couldn't sing loud enough. I couldn't jump high enough. I couldn't lay flat enough. I couldn't cry hard enough. I couldn't smile big enough. I couldn't express in human ability how much I believe in His power and might.

He can move the mountains. He can calm the seas. He reigns. He died for me. He restores. He is on the throne. He listens. He cares. He moves how and where He pleases. My God is mighty to save.

I saw a woman whom I call my friend, Tisha, obey the Lord and stand up before all of us to beautifully sign "Amazing Love." She's finally going to use the gift God has given her and not hide it any longer. Praise be to HIM.

I saw another woman try to "pass the buck" as she called it. The Spirit kept telling her that an invitation for salvation needed to be spoken from the mike. God pushed her up on stage so she could share how great our God is and to invite anyone who didn't know to come and find out!

I saw friends worshipping like they had never worshipped before, reaching higher and higher to the throne of Glory- going after all that God had for them and stopping at nothing.

I saw passionate worship leaders pour their heart and soul into chasing after God and taking us higher and higher. I heard the voice of an angel.....Lindsay sing my favorite...."Come to me."
But it was more than her angelic voice that echoed in the place- it was a gifting like I've NEVER, NEVER seen or heard.

A spiritual awakening is a beautiful thing. I woke up this morning with a revived heart.
All glory be to Him.

k