Victory, Strepp, and Pressing ON!

Hey y'all!
So, you'll notice a weight tracker above. I really dreaded putting that thing back on my blog as it's a hard core reminder of where I am in the physical realm. It was like if I didn't list it then I didn't have to face it. However, as I was choosing my little symbol for a weight tracker, the little turtle stuck out to me. Ah Ha! Finally, I'm not ashamed that this is a slow process and that turtles take their time...who always wins the race..the tortoise or the hare??? There is much wisdom in that old story. It's ok that I'm a turtle. I'm gonna be the proudest turtle there ever was :) so, every Wed. evening after Weigh N Pray, or Thurs. morning..I will update this tracker with my weigh in weight. By the way, I'm not intimidated by that number of 266.2- nope! It's just a number and God loves me and is at work in me. He's transforming me daily into the women He has called me to be. I'm in the trenches of life, carrying my cross and following Him. I'm claiming in Jesus name that we all be set free from food addiction and reclaim our lives to healthiness!!! yahhooooo!!!!!!!

From the inspiration of my weigh n pray friends and other's who encourage me.....I have decided to try harder at using this blog from the perspective of my health journey. Yes, you'll still get some sappy stories here and there that have nothing to do with my health.
By the way to my Weigh N Pray friends, the following has been copy and pasted from the email I just sent all of you...so don't bore yourself by reading it over :) k?

Today, I've had an amazing day with self control- by the grace of God!!!!!!John and I had the whole afternoon and night together...alone....no kids.... :) ....:) You're wondering..."Why on earth is she emailing us then?" Well......many of you noticed last night that my throat was hurting at the end of weigh n pray.I woke up this morning in a lot of pain, took anna to p.e. class and then thought "Gee, Kara, if you do have strepp throat, which you are prone to get, you better stop into Urgent Care and get on some meds asap!" So, sure enough, I have strepp.We disbursed all of the kids and then I was determined to have a fun day and evening despite the strepp.....God gave me the most amazing fun day and kept the pain far from me until about 9 p.m. this evening. As we sat at Eastside 9 watching Glenn Beck's comedy live satelite thing...I slowly started to fade. I can barely talk now...it hurts bad!!!! So, here I sit typing as I'm definately not in the mood for anything else...wink...wink :) teeheee :)
Victories: I had barely enough food to sustain me before my early bird special dinner at "The Beef House"....oh...my!!! How scrumptious!! I had a broiled pork chop, 1/2 baked pot. with little butter and sour cream, small cup of broc soup and 1/2 plate of salad with 1 T. of regular dressing...and of course 2 rolls...they were worth every stinkin' calorie!!!! All in all, I know I was still under my calories for the day and I felt fabulous!!! We then traveled back to Lafayette for the Glenn Beck thing and usually when I'm at the theater I must have Cherry Pepsi.. Now, I don't drink Cherry Pepsi anywhere else. So, get this!! This is how cool God is...I ordered the cherry pepsi and then John ordered a Mt. Dew. I heard the lady say something like "Do you want regular Mt. Dew sir?" I said, "Wait a minute on mine. Do you have diet Mt. Dew because the list out here on my side does not mention it?" She said YES!!! God knows I love Diet Mt. Dew!!!!!! So, I saved myself a good 300 calories since it was huge honkin' cup of soda, by the grace of God there...then, I ate just 2 handfuls of reg. popcorn with NO extra butter on it!!! John got one box of milk duds and I figured I ate 150 calories worth of those. All in all, I felt fabulous!! This may seem like a lot of food to some of you...but trust me...it totally beat my normal which would have been Appetizer of Fried Zucchini, Petit Filet Mignon, Baked Potato- I would have scraped that plate clean, salad piled high with the extra cheese, bacon bits and croutons and loaded with thick lucious 1000 island dressing (3 T. worth at least) plus 2 1/2 rolls at least with lots of butter and jam. Then, of course since it's a bday celebration....dessert!! hello!!! Gotta have a treat, right??!!What a glorious day!!!
Then, I would have went to the theatre, a few hours later..ate a tub of buttered up popcorn, the soggy kind!!! A large cherry pepsi, and probably gotten a refill on the pepsi. Don't forget the entire box of milk duds...all for me...no sharing of course! John would have wanted his own box.

I share all of this as an encouragement that this journey is literally one step at a time and we will not give up. I will type and say these words until the day i die...we will not give up. God doesn't ever give up on us and I will never give up on you, my friends who are on the healthier life journey. There is victory in Jesus, our Savior forever. He sought me and bought me with his redeeming love. He loved me ere I knew him and I my love is due him.....so the old hymn goes.
Loving you all more than you know! You are my friends, my encouragers, my prayer warriors. Prayer opens the door to amazing things. So...press on...and pray hard :)
I loveyou,
k

Seasons

I've come to realize something. Actually, I seem to have this epiphany 4 times a year...very seasonal. Sometimes I sit around and sulk over the seasons of life that I used to be in and how much I enjoyed being "there." During "that" time, I was a great evangalist. Or during "that" time, I was thinner or like a gazelle on the treadmill. One of the longest seasons of my life was diapers and babies. I don't think I made a trip to WalMart without purchasing baby cereal, baby food or diapers. At one point in time, I had Evan, Emma and Avry in diapers. There was a season when I never, never, ever got solid night's sleep as either a baby or toddler would wake us up and I would drag myself out of bed to feed someone or comfort someone. Then there was this lapse of time....time literally evaporated and I woke up to find that I have a teenager going into high school, 1 in junior high, 3 in elementary and 1 in preschool. I'm a bit overwhelmed and the level of responsibility that comes along with raising 6 children. One child is a great responsibility, let alone multiplied times 6. During this season of life, I feel as though I am on information overload. I'm constantly looking to the calendar and trying not to forget things.
I don't feel "at the top of my game" so to speak. I don't have the same fire to invite people to church as I once did. I don't feel the same love and compassion for people as I once did...where did those times go?
To sum it up, I guess this season of life has it's purposes to glorify God. I'll be 32 years old on Friday...32 years of life. Why is that it's so easy to list the shortcomings and not the accomplishments? I feel very inadequate right now, a bit disoriented actually. It just feels like everything in my life drastically changed overnight. I know they didn't really, but it sure feels like it. From the moment that i pulled up to Harrison High School and dropped off my child, it has all changed. God tells me to not have a spirit of fear, but of sound mind. Life feels very emotionally tough right now. I'm not good at expressing this in person to many of you close friends. I'm just weird like that I guess. This too will pass..I'm sure it will. Right now, I just want to surrender it all to Jesus cause I ain't got nothing much to give :)
k

She's Growing up

This is a post dedicated to my beautiful daughter Anna. Anna is the most amazing teenager that I know. I honestly say this not because she's my daughter, but because she is a blessed young lady. God has gifted her beyond belief.

This is Anna's last summer before highschool begins. A whole new world of opportunity and blessings await her. Yesterday was the first day of a rigorous schedule for Anna. We woke up at 5 a.m. and headed to Harrison for a 6-8 a.m. conditioning program for volleyball. This will be every M, W, and F morning (other than a couple of breaks). Then, she had summer school PE from 8 a.m.-12 p.m. This will be M-F for the month of June.
Volleyball tryouts will be the beginning of August. So, she has all summer to train and prepare her body :)

As we headed to conditioning yesterday morn, I had many flashbacks to my own high school experience. I too played volley in highschool and remember the pain-staking days of training my body and conditioning to be the best that I could be. I remember vomitting out of pure exhaustion and panting so hard that I thought my heart was going to explode. I remember feeling nervous about the coaches, other players and the boys that walked by. I remember so many feelings and thoughts that yesterday, my heart began to beat fast for Anna. I remember not wanting to get out of my parent's car until I saw someone I knew to walk in with and feeling intimidated by the older "highschoolers" who looked so much bigger and taller and smarter than me. I found myself praying to God for peace over Anna. She was sooooo nervous and as a mom, I just wanted to protect her and take away all of that uncertainty. Then, I had to remember that she must experience things in life that are uncomfortable and will grow her to be a confident young lady.

After picking her up at noon, I found out that this had been one of the toughest things that Anna had ever done. Those 2 hours of conditioning were excruciating, exhausting and tough! She almost gave up at one point and wanted to call me to come and get her...but then she pressed on and through until the end. Muscles were strained and pushed to a new level- yet, she said "Mom, it was so hard, but when I now that I'm done, I feel great...almost hyper!" Hmmmmm....isn't that so true! Often, things that are difficult to press through have an amazing result on the other end. My encouragement today is to remember that this life is going to be hard, tough, full of aches and pains...but on the other side of the pain- there will be victory that is ooooooh so sweet!!!

Press on, press through and persevere today my friends. If you are like me, you fight food addiction daily, moment by moment. You don't want to drink water. You don't really want to exercise. You don't want to go the extra step to serve, but you know it's right. Through Christ alone- we can press on :)
love you all friends!
k

Crazy Day!

Once again, it's been far too long since I've blogged. You probably don't believe that we still do not have our flooring completed!!??? Yep! God is in control and let me tell you that he's teaching me a whole new level of patience. The floor installers were supposed to start this past Monday officially and planned to have all laundry room, kitchen, living room, evan's room, hallways, and our room DONE by Friday. Well, due to some unforseen challenges that they experienced on a previous job, they were behind. Thus, they came yesterday, Friday, to start with the linoleum.
I had a dream the night before that they put down the wrong pattern and color. So, being a bit paranoid about my dream asked them to show me the flooring that was in there handy dandy van. I became a little worried as my sample seemed to have more of a green tint and the flooring I was looking at seemed to not have so much of a green tint, but seemed a little more slate/blueish. Now, granted I was looking at it in the bright sunlight on the driveway. I had the installers call the floor place and they sent someone out to look at it. Long, story short- it was the right floor. The problem being that the little sample you look at doesn't show the entire floor pattern and thus you can pull out a color, such as the green and think that the whole floor is going to look more green. But, in reality, when you put it down, it has a different look. Let me assure you that I LOVE this new flooring. It is beautiful. It compliments the GREEN paint on the kitchen walls (I painted before the floor went down).
Anna and Abby were both gone last night and this morning...so you'd think I had it easy! Only 4 kids to deal with right? NOPE! NOPE! NOPE!!! AVry and Emma about put me over the edge this morning. The installers showed up at 9 for pancakes (John's sweet idea) and Emma/Avry love to talk to them and talk and talk! I needed them to clean up their room (put away clothes they had pulled out of their dressers). I'm sure none of you have children that would do such a naughty thing, but I sure do! The battle became so bad at one point one of the nice young workers, whom I KNOW will never have children now due to his experience at my house, says to me "Are you going to be alright?" I thought I was going to burst into tears. I had tried all of my family options to help me with the kids and didn't see any possibilities and I even tried calling my dear hubby at work and said "I need you to come home right now!!" He said "Why?"
I said, "Because your wife is mentally ill today and needs you home!!" He laughed in a fun way. But I didn't find ANYTHING funny about my mental state! NOTHING!! NOTHING! Can you sense my anger???? Then, it gets better. Emma accidentally knocked over a can of paint that didn't have the lid sealed on properly and spilled it all over the living room concrete floor and stepped in it!!!! Yes...I had a half gallon of white paint with a child's foot covered in paint. AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! The poor men who were here came to my aid to try to keep everyone else away from the mess and I took Emma to the shower. They were so kind to bring in a big fan and said my best option for clean up was to let it dry and then it should just scrape up in one big sheet. Thank you , God, that they were here. Because I would have tried to clean it up some other messy way. Now, the key was to keep all of the kids from stepping in it while it dried.
My washer and dryer are unhooked, my stove is unhooked, all the clean clothes are put away, so had no housework to do admidst this disaster of a house. Thus, I sat down on the couch and closed my eyes to pray. I pleaded to God for help! This is Memorial Day weekend and all of my friends have plans, all of family is busy or sick, and my hubby can not get off work...PLEASE God, HELP ME!!! Shortly after, the phone rang and my mom asked if I needed her to come get some kids. (Earlier, when I spoke to her, her back was out of whack and so I sure wasn't going to ask her to help me!). So, she's picking up Emma and Avry at 12 p.m. and then she also invited us over to dinner at her house later!! Yay!!! God is good all the time!!
Enough drama from my home. Today's goal is not to lose my mind :)
k

About an hour later, Emma comes to me and says "Avry is in the paint!" I lost it!! I lost it!!! What???? Sure enough, she was being naughty and putting little toys in the puddle of paint and I found her in the bathroom with paint on her and water everywhere as she thought she could cover her tracks!! I whooped her little hiney and put her nose in the corner.

Sermon at EFC

oh my gracious...we were fired up this morning weren't we? God is just rocking the house at EFC- all praise goes to HIM!!! It was such perfect timing to here Pastor Randy's message this morning on obedience and reminding us that our body is not ours but belongs to God. If we are a believer, the HOly Spirit lives within us and our body is the temple the houses God's spirit. Cool! We are to be dead to our fleshly desires. Hmmmm...food- a beautiful thing that God has created can be used in the wrong ways. Another motto I have for Weigh and Pray is "The enemy has already been defeated!" (from this morning's sermon!) I am convinced that we are going to pave the way of the Lord through prayer and accountability. I can't tell you how weak I am..there really are no words to describe it. Sure enough, when I got to the van after service today- there was a large bag of "Reece's variety candy" given to Abby by my mom...very nice thought. Except, I chose to inhale 2 reece's cups before I even put the van in reverse....come on...that is just pathetic!!! Oh, Lord, please do not ever give up on me. I can see the new me coming soon, exercising joyfully, running like a gazelle, eating healthy foods and with self control- the vision is near. Pastor pointed out that we are in a season of literally planting crops and growth. Therefore, look into the spiritual realm of in being a great time to plant new seeds and to grow. Oh, baby, do I ever want to grow!!! (But not on the outside...ha, ha!!) I get it..i get it..I know..I know... that my food addiction is just an outward result of what is going on in the inside of my heart. I have been plain and simply LAZY about pursing my relationship with Christ lately. I don't want to wake up early, I don't want to do the hard work of exercise, I don't want to plan healthy meals and then have to prepare them...I ...I...I...I.. It's all about me! I'm to a point of great desperation and know that it's only by the power of God that I'm going to change this stinkin' lifestyle. I can not tell you how pivitol NOW is in my life. This will be Anna's last summer before highschool and I so badly want to set a good, daily example for her of what loving Jesus looks like. I can talk all day long, but until she sees some real results, I'm sure that all of my talk can sound like Linus on Charlie Brown "Waaaa, Wa, Wa, Waaa, Wa". She's going to be exercising her hiney of this summer starting June 1st. She'll have volleyball conditioning 3 mornings a week from 6-8 a.m. Then, she'll have PE. 5 days a week from 8-12 p.m! I want to be an exercise queen with her this summer. I obviously did not fulfill my word of doing the mini marathon- but there is next May!
k

More Water Issues!

Well, we have had yet another water backup issue here in the Townsend household. First, let me assure you that I'm thanking God for it because it could definately mean more remodeling covered by insurance company and I'm praying that the insurance co. will approve this issue as a continued problem from the claim a month ago. Since we just got all of this rain, it's proving that the problem was never fixed. So.....after doing a load of laundry last night, Abby and I heard this horrible gurgling noise in the laundry room and kitchen sink (2 different locations but on the same water line). I ran to the laundry room to see water pouring..and I mean POURING, out of the drain that runs from the washing machine into the wall. Water was just soaking through the floor and then running down the basement wall (in the little utility room). Then, dark gray water filled up in the utility sink. There's so many details that I'll skip to spare you the agony of boredom. Bottom line, I had to call Mr. Rooter to come and out and try to figure this out. Let's just say that the comment out of the guy's mouth was "In 35 years, I've never seen anything like this. Nothing makes sense. It's as though the line from this area is not hooked up to the main septic."
Only God knows...literally...I believe that only God can show the pros how to fix this confusing problem. Meanwhile, as they were roto-rooting the line from within the laundryroom, mud spewed out all over the man and my laundry room floor. Yahooo...I love muddy floors...not really :) Sorry for the sarcasim.
He said he'd come up with a solution, he just needed to sleep on it. I really liked these gentlemen by the way...very downhome, honest kind of folk :)
All of that to say this...Please, please pray that our insurance company will not give us any hassle about considering all of this damage from the continual problem of last month's claim. We need them to reopen the claim and now, we have to get Paul DAvis Restoration back out here to assess the damage. Oh, and also, lots of water has spewed out from under our dishwasher causing damage there too. I can see a big blessing from God though in the sense that the carpet is still not in and if they have to pull up the kitchen and laundry room floor...linoleum then they could fix it all at once...that would be amazing!
Trusting for God's BEST!
k

Accountability

I'm on the count down....4 more days until the official Weigh and Pray starts. I'm suddenly realizing that there will be no more UNaccounted for food. Yikes! I've gotten so used to "just forgetting" what I eat that it's a bit scary to realize that I will be writing it all down on paper. But, I do know and believe that prayer is the key. I'm pumped about it being 16 weeks long...that's quite a bit of time to be held truly accountable :)

Abby has mono, as you all know I've posted on my facebook. She's pretty exhausted ..please keep praying for her speedy recovery. She and I are going to spend some quality mommy/Abby time together while John takes the other kiddos out to spend night at Tina and Scott's. Then, they will all get up and go to Indiana Beach tomorrow. Abby and I are looking forward to some peaceful rest and I'll be doing laundry :) yippppeeee :)

Gots to run :)
k