The 3 P's

Where is the time going? Can anyone believe that we are just 21 days away from TSC starting.
Anna will be in 8th gr., Johnathan will be in 6th, Abby will be in 3rd, Evan will be in 1st and Emma will be full day kindergarten! Avry will be attending EFC Childcare/preschool. Yahoo!!! I don't wish away this precious time with the kids while they are still young. However, I am excited to see what God is doing in each of their lives as they grow older. Just a warning...next summer when I blog, it'll probably be an entire melt down as Anna will then be going into highschool!! No way!!!!!!!!

Onto another topic...prayer. I've come to realize that truly the only hope I have to regain consciousness from this toxic, selfish acoma that I've went into is to ask for prayer. What's on my prayer list specifically? A lot of yucky stuff to be honest. I have to take a deep breath to even bring myself to terms with where I am...I hate it and I'm going to fight until God's victory prevails over darkness.
1. Pray that my heart will be transformed by the renewing of my mind. (don't know where that scripture is..)
2. Pray that I'll have a hunger for God's Word like never before, that the gates of Heaven will be opened to me and the Spirit will pour down over me like a rushing river.
3. Pray that I continue to develop a servant's heart. It's so easy to slack in the comfort of your own home...i highly desire to be a woman of integrity whom my children look up to and see my servant's heart. Right now, it's much easier to beg them to watch t.v. so i can sleep in.
4. pray that I'll see clearly the enemy's schemes and realize ways that I can step into the armour of God to fight off the devil, world and flesh.
Let's talk a minute about "the flesh"- for such a simple word, it sure does encompass complex meaning. My flesh is beyond evil. It disgusts me. Every day, I must battle my own flesh. The Spirit is fighting against it..but so often I just want to live in the flesh. I get cozy, snuggle up with a warm furry blankie and suck my thumb as i waller in the flesh. I like to pout like a baby! I like to whine and complain, making a sound like a clanging symbol. Why??Why??? Why would anyone choose this horrid lifestyle..yet, even though I'm saved, I choose to walk in old wickedness, old thought processes of selfish gain and pride. Some of you are thinking "Oh, kara you aren't that bad or you are over exaggerating as we all struggle." Or you are thinking, "Glad you realize and admitt it." But let me tell you that when the Bible says our hearts our wicked and we are lost- oh yes..can i ever assure you that it's true. The good news is of course that Christ is my advocate and I've received His forgiveness... Something odd just happened as I was typing the word "forgiveness"... my fingers slowed down on the key board and I could barely type that word. I've accepted eternal like through Christ's forgiveness, yet i receive some sort of sickening comfort out of holding on to all the "ways that I'm bad."
I'm actually getting a headache thinking about all of this...i'm too complex, or do I just make it all too complex??hmmmmmm
Three words keep ringing loudly with me: Pride, Praise and Prayer. ( The 3 P's!)
God deserves far more praise than I give Him. My pride issue sucks and I must rely and have faith in the power of prayer!!!!
As a matter of fact..I'm gonna just head to bed right now and spend some time in prayer.
love you all!
k