Top 10

Long time no write. Sorry! Today my family celebrated my grandmother's 70th birthday. What's more amazing than that is the fact that her own mother is 92 years old and came also! Can you imagine living for 92 years and seeing your very own daughter turn 70????Wow!!! Today was probably one of the happiest days for my grandma..she was relaxed, at ease and just had a great time!
I feel full tonight. Not only of food, but my soul feels full. God is on the throne and i KNOW without a doubt that His grace is going to move my hiney back in gear. I want to run like a gazelle again on that treadmill- the race will be here before I know it. I need to go ahead and put a request in to have that weekend off. Do you think I'm crazy?
So, on sunday, Pastor Randy had to mention that dirty, dirty rotten word- a word far worse than any 4 letter word you can think of- "discipline". Ahhhhhhh! I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. The Lord has been talking to me about "the heart issue" of things. It seems that everywhere i turn, He's pointing it out....even our women's group is going to undergo an "Extreme Heart Makeover." I get it, Lord, I get it! Let's look at my top 10 areas of struggle (David Letterman style).....
10. Food addiction
9. Servant heartedness
8. Laziness
7. Pride
6. Critical Judgement of others
5. Lack of prayer
4. Poor stewardship of God's money and things
3.Respecting John
2.Submission to authority
1. Reading, meditating, and memorizing the Word of God- the everlasting Word!

Now, i'm not claiming that these are listed in the appropriate order from least to most, but i am saying that food addiction is really just a result, just a bi-product of my number 1 struggle-
NOT being in the Word often enough, deep enough and not "hiding the Word in my heart." God tells me in His very promise to me that i am to "hide His word in my heart that I may not sin against Him." Hmmmm..... brilliant! That whole sin thing tends to get me everyday.....like 24/7 actually. I can guarantee you I even sin in my sleep- I've gotten rather brutal with john before and given him a good elbow out of selfish desires for me to be more comfortable!!!! uggghhhh!
So, my new committment to the Lord is not actually to eat better, exercise more and to live healthier. Why you may ask??? Because He wants something far deeper and more meaningful from me...for me to fall in love with His Word, fall madly in love with Him in prayer. We all love secrets don't we?? Don't you just love when someone lets you in on a secret? Well, the Lord is saying to me, "Kara, come and share all your secrets with me. I'll listen. I'll love you. I'm here for you. Come to me in that secret time and place and let's just hang out together!" The sad part is that I'm thinking "Okay Lord, great! Can i bring some snacks too?" He must laugh at me and just shake His head.
I must get to sleep my dear friends. I love you and please pray I'll undergo this Extreme Heart Makeover with much grace, patience and discipline!
k