A good cry is worth a lot. Do you ever find yourself crying and thinking "what is wrong with me? why am i so emotional?" I tend to want to make excuses for a good cry. Excuses like "Oh, I'm just hormonal" or "I think I'm close to THAT time of the month." Why can't I just be fine with a good ole solid cry? Well, last night- finally I just let it all out and cried and cried and cried. I almost hypervenilated, but it felt good! There was a burden lifted from my shoulders as I sobbed. Anyone who knows me well knows that I rarely ever sob, I'm just not a weepy person in general.
I realized that life is passing so quickly. God holds everything in the palm of his hands and knows the pains of my heart. He also knows when I try to bury those pains. Have you ever let your thoughts take you to a deep dark place of sadness, lonliness, desperation? I had convinced myself that one of my family members didn't care about me anymore and that I didn't hold a special place in their heart. I started to picture the future and how I would become just a nobody to that person. I was so wrapped up in my own sad fantasy that I didn't even think to just pray about the situation. How silly of me. Seriously! God wants to comfort me and restrengthen this relationship and He loves for me to just pour my heart out to him. So, today I'm choosing to release all of those thoughts and lay them at Jesus' feet. He says to cast all our cares on Him for He cares for us. So, there it is. God, I'm waiting on you to strenthen my relationship with this person and I trust you have what's best for me in store.
Not sure what God has in store for me today since I can't do laundry or dishes. There is a main valve flushing occuring in our neighborhood community well water system. Thus, the water is disgustingly orangish/brown. Hopefully, by this afternoon it will be all flushed. So, today...I'll just watch for Him to move.
k
Life is Good because of God! Thumbs up!!!
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Early risers
What a glorious day it will be. This morning was much more peaceful as most of the kids did not wake up until 7 a.m.! How can I be so blessed as to have early risers? I KNOW for a fact when Kristy and I were kids that we had to be pried out of bed. I NEVER woke up before the alarm clock went off. We could have our kids go to bed later so that they would hopefully wake up later in the morning. Nah...I don't want to sacrifice that sweet, quiet alone time with John. Wait a second...why am I even complaining. Have I forgotten the days of being woke up several times a night? Nevermind all this jabber...I am thrilled to have early risers :)
I'm praying that God holds the rain off for our church event tonight. Last time we had one, the gray clouds loomed overhead and it barely sprinkled as we were tearing down. I'm really looking forward to tonight!!!
Well, I feel rather boring this morning- so I'll say farewell! I need to go weigh myself actually.
Yesterday afternoon, I got nasty stomach cramps and didn't feel well all afternoon- so I didn't walk :( That's ok...it's a marathon and not a sprint.
k
I'm praying that God holds the rain off for our church event tonight. Last time we had one, the gray clouds loomed overhead and it barely sprinkled as we were tearing down. I'm really looking forward to tonight!!!
Well, I feel rather boring this morning- so I'll say farewell! I need to go weigh myself actually.
Yesterday afternoon, I got nasty stomach cramps and didn't feel well all afternoon- so I didn't walk :( That's ok...it's a marathon and not a sprint.
k
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Goals and rambling
Physically- My goal for today is to take a 1 mile walk. Drink at least 100 oz. of water. Eat smaller portions.
Spiritually- be on the look out for God sightings. Pray and worship as I'm driving in the van. Listen to God.
Did anyone else get woke up last night to the pounding sound of thunder and the sharp crackling of lightening? I actually made myself laugh in the middle of the storm because as I listened to the various "tones" of the lightening striking, I found myself thinking "that kaboom sounded like it had to burp." You may think I'm nuts, but it sounded just like when someone is about to belch and then the belch just kinda fizzles out. Sometimes you don't know if a burp is going to be loud and forceful or lose it's momentum half way through:) When the lightening did strike loud and strong- I was almost convinced that a tree by our house had been struck and I was waiting for it to come crashing through the roof!!! By God's grace, only one child woke up, Abby. That was a miracle!!!
So, this morning all but 1 child were up by 6:15 a.m. I tried to be cheerful, but was a little dissappointed and wondered "How can my children sleep through storms like last night, but the smallest movement in the kitchen awakes them?" Anna is very quiet in the mornings and we even whisper! Oh well...just thankful to have children to referee in the mornings.
Have a blessed and glorious day today! Look for those God sightings- He's at work all around us!
k
Spiritually- be on the look out for God sightings. Pray and worship as I'm driving in the van. Listen to God.
Did anyone else get woke up last night to the pounding sound of thunder and the sharp crackling of lightening? I actually made myself laugh in the middle of the storm because as I listened to the various "tones" of the lightening striking, I found myself thinking "that kaboom sounded like it had to burp." You may think I'm nuts, but it sounded just like when someone is about to belch and then the belch just kinda fizzles out. Sometimes you don't know if a burp is going to be loud and forceful or lose it's momentum half way through:) When the lightening did strike loud and strong- I was almost convinced that a tree by our house had been struck and I was waiting for it to come crashing through the roof!!! By God's grace, only one child woke up, Abby. That was a miracle!!!
So, this morning all but 1 child were up by 6:15 a.m. I tried to be cheerful, but was a little dissappointed and wondered "How can my children sleep through storms like last night, but the smallest movement in the kitchen awakes them?" Anna is very quiet in the mornings and we even whisper! Oh well...just thankful to have children to referee in the mornings.
Have a blessed and glorious day today! Look for those God sightings- He's at work all around us!
k
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Crazy in Love with....
Change. What does it take to change? What do I have to do? What do I have to believe? Why does it seem that I can never outrun the need to change?
This morning's amazing sermon by my brother in Christ, Kyle Burke, was phenomenal! There really aren't the proper words to express the power of brokeness and how it can and will transform our lives. Coming before the Father and before your beloved family in Christ and allowing the light to shine on the darkness of your life IS life transforming. This action of humility releases God's power at a level that is unimaginable. I wonder why light can be so painful? Isn't the light meant to be good? Ahhhhh....but, the light is good. It does shine goodness, but it must face a level of darkness and wickedness that is ugly...beyond ugly actually. The Bible says that our righteousness, the very best we could ever be, is like a filthy, dirty rag to the Lord.
I also wonder why it can be heart-wrenching to share truth, love and correction with others? I avoid it at almost all cost. I hate the fear of looking into someone's eyes and possibly hurting them, possibly screwing it all up with my fleshly tongue and nature, possibly bauching what God wants to do through me. It stinks and I'm just a human being whose life is also filled with sin and the need for correction. God continues to stir a boldness in me that is full of love, compassion and wisdom. I am boldly going to proclaim the truths of Him...not what feels good, not what feels right, not what "I think" is best....but I must choose to encourage others with the truth of His words that are eternal and everlasting.
I also wonder how love is such a beautiful thing, yet so difficult and unnatural to walk out. It sounds fun in theory to talk about loving others like Jesus would. Every moment that God gives me another breath on this earth, I realize all the more....that I am solely and utterly insufficient to make it through this life with out Him. It's insane to think that I have any power of my own. As a matter of fact, I constantly show myself how much I need him, by screwing things up. Any and everytime that I've leaned on my own understanding of something, it's led me to destruction. The destruction may manifest itself outwardly or even inwardly. The sad part is that the inward manifestion can be darker, more disgusting, and more repulsive because it's hidden. Or should I say, I attempt to hide it. However, I'm learning day by day that the more real I am with where I am, the more He has the power to change me.
Kyle brought to light this morning this...."Humility is acurately accessing who you are before God." He said some harsh, but loving truth too...it's the kind of truth that most of us know but hate to believe. He said...YOU do not have the right to get your feelings hurt. Your preferences should NOT matter. You are alive by the grace of God. We should wake up every morning and make a list of all the reasons why we deserve HELL. But because of God's great love and compassion for us- we have hope and a new life. He loves me. He loves you.
Kyle also highlighted the importance of unity and not getting hung up over the details. Really...really...if we were to have the accurate view of ourselves and be full of humility- who cares what color that paint is on the wall!??? He pointed out how churches have been divided over stupid, silly stuff...all because one's opinion got in the way. What is the big picture here??? JESUS!! It's all about JESUS! He deserves the glory and praise and honor forever and ever!! Period. No qualms about it. We need to constantly keep the end goal in mind and work towards drawing others closer to Jesus and shining His light in this world through His love!
I love my church. I love it with all my heart. I love the people who make up my church. I love my pastor and Lisa and their family. I love the leadership team like crazy. I love the women of my church and of our Heart 2 Heart ministry. I love all of the children, even the naughty ones :) teeheee :) But above all- I love their love for righteousness, for growth, for holiness and truth. I love the fact that a man can preach how God has opened his eyes and revealed disgusting behaviors that did not bring God glory. I love how people can go to the alter and be prayer for, loved on and encouraged. I love how the people worship and catch the Spirit of God. I love that grown men can bawl their eyes out and be hugged/comforted by other men. I love how we are not so rigid as to avoid God's call. The preachers aren't afraid to veer from a planned sermon or point- to run after where God is working. It's a beautiful thing. I'm growing more and more crazy in love with my church family. I see how that love is going to overflow into reaching Lafayette. I looked out at the congregation today and fell into a deeper love with them. God gave me a fresh new love for each person. I felt sappy. I wanted to hug everyone and pray over every person. I wanted them all to come over for lunch, but my little crockpot with sausauge, green beans and potatoes wouldn't have quite cut it :) My point is that on my own strength, I just don't have it in me to love those around me like I should. But- because HE died and rose on the 3rd day- I have power over satan's schemes. God moved me to notice the single mom beside me crying her eyes out. I asked her "How can I pray for you?" She said her life was a "disaster...everything was a disaster." That broke my heart. My next question was if she already had a relationship with God...she immediately answered yes, that she was saved already. Awesome! We briefly talked about her being consistent in church, coming on Wed. nights and getting plugged into a family group. Her work schedule and taking her son to visit his father seems to always fall on the same nights as church. Well, I'm determined to follow up with the other family groups and ask them all to pursue her...surely one of our groups will fit into her schedule!!!
You know how we all have ups and downs in our walk with God. Well, it's time for me to put me aside and start putting His agenda first. It's time for me to start evangelizing again like crazy. I have slacked off for quite sometime. But I'm ready to change....again!
I'm so thankful that I do NOT sound like a broken letter to my Father. I'm crazy in love with Him and satan will NOT fool me. God wants to change me....one day at a time.
k
This morning's amazing sermon by my brother in Christ, Kyle Burke, was phenomenal! There really aren't the proper words to express the power of brokeness and how it can and will transform our lives. Coming before the Father and before your beloved family in Christ and allowing the light to shine on the darkness of your life IS life transforming. This action of humility releases God's power at a level that is unimaginable. I wonder why light can be so painful? Isn't the light meant to be good? Ahhhhh....but, the light is good. It does shine goodness, but it must face a level of darkness and wickedness that is ugly...beyond ugly actually. The Bible says that our righteousness, the very best we could ever be, is like a filthy, dirty rag to the Lord.
I also wonder why it can be heart-wrenching to share truth, love and correction with others? I avoid it at almost all cost. I hate the fear of looking into someone's eyes and possibly hurting them, possibly screwing it all up with my fleshly tongue and nature, possibly bauching what God wants to do through me. It stinks and I'm just a human being whose life is also filled with sin and the need for correction. God continues to stir a boldness in me that is full of love, compassion and wisdom. I am boldly going to proclaim the truths of Him...not what feels good, not what feels right, not what "I think" is best....but I must choose to encourage others with the truth of His words that are eternal and everlasting.
I also wonder how love is such a beautiful thing, yet so difficult and unnatural to walk out. It sounds fun in theory to talk about loving others like Jesus would. Every moment that God gives me another breath on this earth, I realize all the more....that I am solely and utterly insufficient to make it through this life with out Him. It's insane to think that I have any power of my own. As a matter of fact, I constantly show myself how much I need him, by screwing things up. Any and everytime that I've leaned on my own understanding of something, it's led me to destruction. The destruction may manifest itself outwardly or even inwardly. The sad part is that the inward manifestion can be darker, more disgusting, and more repulsive because it's hidden. Or should I say, I attempt to hide it. However, I'm learning day by day that the more real I am with where I am, the more He has the power to change me.
Kyle brought to light this morning this...."Humility is acurately accessing who you are before God." He said some harsh, but loving truth too...it's the kind of truth that most of us know but hate to believe. He said...YOU do not have the right to get your feelings hurt. Your preferences should NOT matter. You are alive by the grace of God. We should wake up every morning and make a list of all the reasons why we deserve HELL. But because of God's great love and compassion for us- we have hope and a new life. He loves me. He loves you.
Kyle also highlighted the importance of unity and not getting hung up over the details. Really...really...if we were to have the accurate view of ourselves and be full of humility- who cares what color that paint is on the wall!??? He pointed out how churches have been divided over stupid, silly stuff...all because one's opinion got in the way. What is the big picture here??? JESUS!! It's all about JESUS! He deserves the glory and praise and honor forever and ever!! Period. No qualms about it. We need to constantly keep the end goal in mind and work towards drawing others closer to Jesus and shining His light in this world through His love!
I love my church. I love it with all my heart. I love the people who make up my church. I love my pastor and Lisa and their family. I love the leadership team like crazy. I love the women of my church and of our Heart 2 Heart ministry. I love all of the children, even the naughty ones :) teeheee :) But above all- I love their love for righteousness, for growth, for holiness and truth. I love the fact that a man can preach how God has opened his eyes and revealed disgusting behaviors that did not bring God glory. I love how people can go to the alter and be prayer for, loved on and encouraged. I love how the people worship and catch the Spirit of God. I love that grown men can bawl their eyes out and be hugged/comforted by other men. I love how we are not so rigid as to avoid God's call. The preachers aren't afraid to veer from a planned sermon or point- to run after where God is working. It's a beautiful thing. I'm growing more and more crazy in love with my church family. I see how that love is going to overflow into reaching Lafayette. I looked out at the congregation today and fell into a deeper love with them. God gave me a fresh new love for each person. I felt sappy. I wanted to hug everyone and pray over every person. I wanted them all to come over for lunch, but my little crockpot with sausauge, green beans and potatoes wouldn't have quite cut it :) My point is that on my own strength, I just don't have it in me to love those around me like I should. But- because HE died and rose on the 3rd day- I have power over satan's schemes. God moved me to notice the single mom beside me crying her eyes out. I asked her "How can I pray for you?" She said her life was a "disaster...everything was a disaster." That broke my heart. My next question was if she already had a relationship with God...she immediately answered yes, that she was saved already. Awesome! We briefly talked about her being consistent in church, coming on Wed. nights and getting plugged into a family group. Her work schedule and taking her son to visit his father seems to always fall on the same nights as church. Well, I'm determined to follow up with the other family groups and ask them all to pursue her...surely one of our groups will fit into her schedule!!!
You know how we all have ups and downs in our walk with God. Well, it's time for me to put me aside and start putting His agenda first. It's time for me to start evangelizing again like crazy. I have slacked off for quite sometime. But I'm ready to change....again!
I'm so thankful that I do NOT sound like a broken letter to my Father. I'm crazy in love with Him and satan will NOT fool me. God wants to change me....one day at a time.
k
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Strepp AGAIN and School starts tomorrow
(I began this post yesterday)
How many times can one person get strepp throat in 7 months? The answer for me is ....3 times!!!!! Thank you God for Z-packs. Within 7 hours of taking my first 2 pills, I was a different person. After I realized that I had strepp, all I could think about was being a sick mama and not being able to spend today with my kiddos like I had hoped and planned. Abby, Evan and Emma had an openhouse at their school tonight from 6-7:30 p.m. This has always been a neat time to meet the teachers, see the classroom, and help the kids put away their school supplies. John had to work tonight at the Colt World Series (it's summertime, and we need the moola so he didn't want to take the night off). Anna and Johnathan had MP3 also. John was going to drop them off, then Kim kindly agreed to bring them home. Needless to say, I was stressing a little as to how I was going to feel good enough to take the kids to their openhouse. I prayed and asked God to just figure it all out for me. Mom came and got Avry for the evening. I took at least 3 naps today and broke a fever a couple of times. When I woke up at 4 p.m., I felt like a new woman. The kids and I had a great time at the openhouse and I just took it slow. Sadly, my stamina began to wither away after our 1 hour adventure at Klondike. God was so gracious this evening to me.
I don't know about you, but I often get stuck in the rut of believing that certain bad habits will just never change. Now I know that is not true because the Bible says so! But, boy oh boy is it easy to be deceived. John has instituted a new family habit that has already been life transforming, amazing, phenomenal, monumental. "What on earth could it be" you ask??? It's simple actually. He has decided that we WILL and MUST get up in the mornings when the alarm goes off. The difficult part is that the alarm goes off before the kids wake up and this requires some self control and discipline to get up to the accountability of God and not to children's voices.
I'm proud of John and his new found love to lead our family. It's definately exciting. Oh, and another thing...we're reading the Bible with the children in the morning. Now, before you get too impressed, let me OVERemphasize that this is not by our own accord. The Holy Spirit is completely responsible for this one. Praise be to God!!
It's been a nice slow morning as Anna needed up at 5:40 and the others woke up after she went to school.
Have a great day everyone!! School has begun and a new beginning is here.
k
How many times can one person get strepp throat in 7 months? The answer for me is ....3 times!!!!! Thank you God for Z-packs. Within 7 hours of taking my first 2 pills, I was a different person. After I realized that I had strepp, all I could think about was being a sick mama and not being able to spend today with my kiddos like I had hoped and planned. Abby, Evan and Emma had an openhouse at their school tonight from 6-7:30 p.m. This has always been a neat time to meet the teachers, see the classroom, and help the kids put away their school supplies. John had to work tonight at the Colt World Series (it's summertime, and we need the moola so he didn't want to take the night off). Anna and Johnathan had MP3 also. John was going to drop them off, then Kim kindly agreed to bring them home. Needless to say, I was stressing a little as to how I was going to feel good enough to take the kids to their openhouse. I prayed and asked God to just figure it all out for me. Mom came and got Avry for the evening. I took at least 3 naps today and broke a fever a couple of times. When I woke up at 4 p.m., I felt like a new woman. The kids and I had a great time at the openhouse and I just took it slow. Sadly, my stamina began to wither away after our 1 hour adventure at Klondike. God was so gracious this evening to me.
I don't know about you, but I often get stuck in the rut of believing that certain bad habits will just never change. Now I know that is not true because the Bible says so! But, boy oh boy is it easy to be deceived. John has instituted a new family habit that has already been life transforming, amazing, phenomenal, monumental. "What on earth could it be" you ask??? It's simple actually. He has decided that we WILL and MUST get up in the mornings when the alarm goes off. The difficult part is that the alarm goes off before the kids wake up and this requires some self control and discipline to get up to the accountability of God and not to children's voices.
I'm proud of John and his new found love to lead our family. It's definately exciting. Oh, and another thing...we're reading the Bible with the children in the morning. Now, before you get too impressed, let me OVERemphasize that this is not by our own accord. The Holy Spirit is completely responsible for this one. Praise be to God!!
It's been a nice slow morning as Anna needed up at 5:40 and the others woke up after she went to school.
Have a great day everyone!! School has begun and a new beginning is here.
k
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
And the results are in....
Thank you all for praying for Anna as God has unveiled His will....she was cut from the team today. She's been sad on and off, as to be expected. I really don't have any other thoughts on it- just trusting God. Thanks again for your support!
k
k
Monday, August 3, 2009
Tryouts have begun!
A quick post to say that Anna's volleyball tryouts have begun!!! We'll know the final result Wednesday and we trust God's will to be done. Anna thought that this morning went very well
and was very motivated. We're getting ready to leave for the second of 2 practices today...each 3 hours long!
Pray for me as I'm having a moody day...just asking that the Lord speak truth to my heart and
encourage me. I've been meditating quite a bit lately on recent sermons that have been highly impactful! Good stuff! Meaty...juicy...rich...thought provoking...convicting...good stuff.
Question for you all if you'd care to answer.... What has been the most meaningful part of your summer and why?
love ya,
k
and was very motivated. We're getting ready to leave for the second of 2 practices today...each 3 hours long!
Pray for me as I'm having a moody day...just asking that the Lord speak truth to my heart and
encourage me. I've been meditating quite a bit lately on recent sermons that have been highly impactful! Good stuff! Meaty...juicy...rich...thought provoking...convicting...good stuff.
Question for you all if you'd care to answer.... What has been the most meaningful part of your summer and why?
love ya,
k
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