My heart is broken for Steven Curtis Chapman's family.
For those of you who don't know.. he is a famous Christian
music artist and has won 5 grammies... Yesterday, May
21st, his 5 year old daughter was killed accidently by her
older teen age brother's vehicle. You can go to his site
at www.stevencurtischapman.com to read more.
I haven't had a good cry for quite sometime....do you ever
go through stages like that? You start to feel a tad bit
unsympathetic and wonder "What's wrong with me?"
My heart just sank for this family of 2 loving parents
and 6 children.
Many of you hate stories like this because it depresses you.
I understand. The only reason I'm writing about this
is because I needed a wake up call. I find that in my life,
unfortunately, tragedy tends to be a wake up! This is a
tragedy not even close to my family... yet, I think that
the Spirit grieves in all of us who are in the family of God
when something like this occurs.
I desperately want to glorify God with all that I am and
all that I do!!! That's my hearts cry.. yet I seem to get in
the way of that. Could I just live one day in complete
obedience to Him? I keep thinking of this family and how
we all say we trust God.. but what do you do in the moment
when He's taken one of your precious ones home to be with
Him? How has my precious friend Amy coped with losing
Lydia? That's a pain that I can't bare to phathom! Yet, I know
if God allows someone to walk through tragedy.. then He will
be there every step of the way.
Time is short precious friends! Emily and I were talking about
the End Times and how God doesn't want us to be afraid, but
be knowledgable and prepared. How does one prepare for
something they fully do not understand? I am NO Bible
scholar but I do know that what God says is going to happen
IS going to happen. He promised a Savior and he delivered
a Savior who saved us from our sins! Thus, He talks about
another period of time yet to come... we are living in those times!!!!
Can you imagine if we would have been alive over 2000 years ago
when everyone was waiting on this "Messiah" or "Savior" to come
and fulfill God's plan and then it ACTUALLY happened!
I think the saddest part is that his own people rejected him and
crucified Him. They didn't BELIEVE that it was really true
and that God had sent His only Son through the virgin Mary.
Many of them missed God..literally. He walked and talked with
the people. So, I ask myself and you this question.... do we
REALLY believe that we are living in the end times? Do we
REALLY believe that one day, one moment in time, when God
Almighty decides... we will no longer live in this "Age of Grace"
but the Rapture will occur... Jesus will return to the new Earth
with all of us Christians and reign for 1000 years? Seriously...
do I .... do you believe this? I have goosebumps right now!!!!
I have a lump in my throat!!! I want to vomit. I am shaking!!!
Heck, NO, I haven't really, really believed it!!! Who am I fooling?
If I believed this whole-heartedly I would be witnessing like a fool.
I'd be so on fire that NOTHING would stop me from sharing the
hope that's found in knowing Jesus as your Savior! Oh God!!!
Please forgive me and cleanse me from all unrighteosness!!!
I am begging you, oh God, to please forgive me of my arrogance
and self-centeredness! My agenda always takes precedence over
yours! Let my every footstep be directed by you for your glory!
Let me not fear man, but I must put on my blinders and stay
focused on the cross and eternity. Let every conversation that
I have be meaningful and not small talk/jibber jabbber! I'm sick
and tired of mediocracy- I want to live that extraordinary life.
I want to be bold as a lion, yet gentle as a lamb. I want to be
full of discernment and not be afraid to call people out on bologna
talk! Dear God!!!! I can't type fast enough as you are so full
of grace and mercy!! Every breath I take is a gift from you.
Every breath that my children breathe is a gift. Fill me Oh
God with your HOly Spirit and let me by overflowing with
your fruits of the Spirit. In Jesus Name, I ask all of this!! Amen!
I'm embarrassed to say that the "Kara" that you've all come to
know is not the Kara that God is calling me to be. Sadly,
I obey man over my God. I try to balance so many different
demands of myself that I lose sight of HIM and what HE
wants of me. I don't want to hurt anyone.. I don't want to
dissappoint anyone.... I don't want to sadden anyone.
The problem with all of this is "anyone" is prioritized
over the only ONE! I am begging for your prayers.. they
must carry me through to the ultimate plan God has for me.
I must say thank you to so many of you.... You know how
I struggle and you're not afraid to give me a reality check
on what's really at the heart of the issue! Keep holding me
accountable. I may not like you for a half of a second.. but
I'll get over myself if you make me mad :)
What I'm about to do is unthinkable! I hope and pray that
if you have read this far, you will follow through with what
I'm asking of YOU (there's no turning back!)
I want you to post something you see in my life that is
not honoring to God and that I need to pray and receive
HIS plan. My heart just took another dive down.
This is hard.... really hard.. but I need to strengthen myself
with loving help and accountability.
And NO, NO sugar coating it.. I'll call you out on it!
So... my prayer is that I'll hear from at least:
Renay, Tina, Emily, Kirsten, Amy, Jessica, Mari, Kristy G.,
Kristy V., Rita, Angela, April, Jaime O., and anyone who I've
forgotten that is reading this!
This has been a question that's been stirring in my heart
for quite sometime.. The Spirit is prompting me to ask
and "receive" . I'm excited about this opportunity to grow!
Please trust me enough to KNOW your heart and BELIEVE
that I won't be hurt.. but only be sanctified to be more like
my Savior!!!
I love you.... I love you.... I love you...
thank you for loving me enough to do this...
kara
Kara's Journey to a Healthier Weight
Thursday, May 22, 2008
PLEASE, PLEASE comment on this!!!
Posted by Kara Townsend at 10:38 PM
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 comments:
Okay....so only because you mentioned me personally in this email am I going to respond. Kara, your personality is so loving and kind and welcoming, that even on a horrific day you are like a ray of sunshine. Your honesty makes me smile and often laugh (or in some cases curse a little) depending on the subject. Since I am the tell it like it is friend (or rather the bold one that speaks out at bible study), I would say that maybe God is calling you to step back and just listen more. Slow down your thinking, breath, and let God speak to you through prayer and through others. Sometimes it is in our nature to quickly respond to people when they talk, or quick to say I understand. We say, "I understand", because we want people to feel acknowledged or cared for, instead of truly processing what they are trying to say and/or needing. Sometimes just a simple smile or I will be praying for you is all people need. So in your search Kara, I will be praying for you, as always. Sorry to be the first one to comment, but really no one wants to be the first to comment.
First of all, Steven Curtis Chapman and family...breaks my heart. Ironically, I can't imagine ALL he is going through, because even though I have lost a baby, I can't fathom losing an older child. One whose personality he knew like the back of his hand, her mannerisms, heart, conversations, and quality time together as a family. It truly would be the most difficult kind of loss to go through. I can't stop thinking about the family and especially Maria's brother.
And another thing...the fact that he wrote and recorded a song about the loss of a child of which he had not experienced, but is now facing. It's sad, yet amazing that he helped countless parents with that song, including me. And now his and God's words are coming back to him to get him through this time. Here is the first verse and chorus of With Hope:
This is not at all how
We thought it was supposed to be
We had so many plans for you
We had so many dreams
And now you've gone away
And left us with the memories of your smile
And nothing we can say
And nothing we can do
Can take away the pain
The pain of losing you, but ...
We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
(There's a place by God's grace)
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again
Okay, now for the 2nd part of this comment and your post. Kara, Kara, Kara. Why are you making us do this? Honestly, when I saw where you were going with this, my stomach sank that you are calling us out (in a sense) to call you out...aah. I think I'm going to have a nervous break down. I do not feel comfortable with this at all. However, you are just UNbelievable that you would request to be shown areas in which you could honor God better? I feel like it's asking, "What do you see that is wrong with me?" I don't have the strength like you do to go there. I would melt into a puddle of tears before a person could get a single word out to reveal such things to me. But, that is my issue, I guess! Whoa.
Aaah...how am I going to be able to sleep after this?? Okay...deep breath. One thing that is kind of minor, but would make ME feel better, haha...is that when you are given a compliment (because you are often VERY deserving of compliments) and you often respond with things like: it was all God OR the good Lord did it, etc. And I know you believe this to be true. But, you do need to give yourself some credit too, girl. You can give God the glory by thanking the person for noticing, accepting that praise and praising God in turn for His influence in it. You could also say that you felt you obeyed what God wanted you to do. But sometimes a simple thank you will suffice. Because He used YOUR hands to accomplish that task. But, I'm sorry, God did not style your hair all cute, okay? That is all you! You can accept compliments gracefully without coming across as prideful. Yes, you can. We all need work on this, but it's just a little somethin' since you won't let me off the hook.
Another reason this is so hard for me is because it is REALLY difficult to come up with something for you because I truly feel like you are amazing in so many areas. Maybe I still don't know you well enough yet, haha. But, I'm just really having to reach to come up with something for ya!
Oh, but here's another thing...hahaha. When you bring up in this post about letting every conversation you participate in be meaningful and not small talk and being tired of mediocracy....I get what you are saying here. But be careful in that you need to feel people out. Not everyone is ready to go deep right away or for quite a while until they feel safe and get to know you well. Casual conversation builds rapport and trust and then maybe some revealing and layers can be peeled back. Individual personalities and people's stories/background/history just all need to be taken into account and often we won't know others' stories until they feel comfortable enough to tell us. And honestly, some people are just not as deep as you...well, maybe not yet, haha. But when you're done with them....watch out!
I may have taken those couple of lines you said further than what you intended. I'm sorry, if so. I can just tell you're very passionate about the things in this post! I do agree though that we could sometimes go deeper than we do in conversation instead of so often playing it safe.
It is so late. I'll sleep on it and let you know if I think of anything else. I'm totally kidding! I love you and your ability to accept your friends' words in love. You truly are amazing and a God-honoring woman who I admire very much. Why thank you, Amy. You're so welcome, Kara.
:-)
Wow, Kara. I don't want to do this. Partly because I don't want Satan to get involved and somehow twist this and you be hurt by any comments (even though I know you genuinely want to know). Also, because we are all sinful humans. How can we truly judge you? We can't. The lenses through which we look are only human eyes. (And, no, I don't think that anyone here has said something judgemental. I think they are all responding out of friendship for you...in love.) God can tell you what you need to work on better than we can. Of course, if God has told you to ask your friends, then we'll help you. I need to think on this a while before I comment. I hope I haven't been a downer or not a team player with this post.
Girl...you need to lay off the booze-or was it medication???
You know I have issues with seriousness of this caliber-seriously. I'm a very surfacey gal and love small talk-are you done with small talk with me-if so, who's next in line to assume Kara's place??? I'll need applicants to sent there resume and cover letter to...just kiddin'---
wow-has it really been so long that you've gone all deep and serious on me? It's wonderful that God's working on you so much but of course, I love you how you are. Every thing you do is why I love you so much. it's what makes you Kara. I have to Amen Amy's comments.
I also think the whole goin' gang busters and speakin' fire and brimstone is NOT a good idea. The Holy Spirit works in people in different ways and some people are ready for the "DEEP Crazy Kara" but the "Gentle, get to know you, see what you have and really want it too Kara"-I love all of you-so whateva:-)
If I must sum up all the malarchy I just typed, I'd have to say that you should pray and ask the Lord whre HE wants you to improve and grow in His likeness...what some type about what you should change are some of my fav parts of you and vice versa so please just seek the Lord in this. I commend you for having the courage to seek counsel though-just next time, call me 1st so I can tell you how great you are the way you are and such;-) I love you friend!!!
BTW,
The SCC thing is so heart breaking I can hardly bring myself to think about it. Uncomprehendable grief-I truly can't imagine. :-(
Kara, Kara, Kara......Talk about pressure. I am so new at this I can barely tell what's Godly and what's not.
What I can tell you is that I love the Kara that I know right now. I'm not sure if I could handle a "Fire and Brimstone" Kara.
If EFC were the "F&B" type of church I might not have attended more than once or twice. EFC is a church of love, no matter who you are.
Kara you are a person of love and kindness and I respect you for that.
I see in you a love for God that is honest and pure. Your actions speak so much louder than many peoples' words. Don't go changing who you are for who you think you should be.
Pray about it.
Become the person GOD wants you to be.
The SCC Family has had major tradgity in their lives and we can only pray that they will find the reason and/or purpose of this tragity.
Kara this is so hard Please understand I'm only doing this because you asked..........
Don't take their tragity as an excuse to allow fear into your heart.
You now have six chldren and the thought of losing one of them must scare the socks off of you. That's the enemy talking and you are better that that.
You are a great Mother and Wife, never doubt that.
I Love you but more importantly GOD loves you.
Kara, I couldn't in a million years stand in any sort of judgement of you at this time. I know you asked, and I know you said you needed to hear what our thoughts are, but I honestly cannot come up with anything to tell you. I love you just the way you are, and I will love you if you feel God is calling you to change. I absolutely agree with what Renay and Rita have said as far as praying about it so that God can reveal the areas that He is calling you to change in. I am just a human who is FULL of judgement, ill thoughts, and a sharp tongue. I struggle everyday to make sure everything I say to people is uplifting and edifying and, even if I could come up with something to say to you, I would be willingly giving in to the things that I struggle with. I pray that you will find the answers to the questions you have through gentle guidance from God.
Post a Comment