These last 2 days have been a weird fog in my life. I've felt a bit weird and out of the loop of life.
When I was a little girl, about 4 years old, I would cuddle up with my Uncle Bob (Kristy's dad)
and watch "The Incredible Hulk." I was thrilled by the paralyzing fear that would overcome me as I gripped tightly to Unlce Bob! I remember hearing the theme music begin to play and some weird red flashing light as David Brenner turned into the Hulk. Sidenote: this was a show on t.v., with real people in it, not a comic book show. David, when provoked to raging anger, would suddenly explode into a bright green giant with wild hair. He'd tear through his clothes and fight off the bad guys to save someone. Then he'd have to dissappear so that he could turn back to normal. Point being: yesterday- I was like the "Hulk/Hag"
John and I were setting up for our big garage sale and I wasn't being a kind, loving, godly wife. I found myself enjoying complaint. He should've just sent my to bed. I remember praying to God telling Him that I felt distant and something was really wrong with me.
Sure enough, I woke up today and had the same issue- yuck! It's like every person that came to our garage sale was politely greeted by me, but in my heart I had nothing else to give! Nothing.
It's like I was experiencing temporary spiritual blindness. I knew it was wrong. I also felt so sleepy that when poor Rita stopped by to visit, I had to cut her short because I had to go take a nap! Sorry, Rita.. I wasn't the friend I needed to be to you during this time in your life!
Earlier in the day, I took Evan to his ball game and felt the condemnation of my mom and aunt.
My mom rolled her eyes in disbelief that I forgot sunscreen and she rushed away to the Dollar General to purchase some. My aunt was grumpy and snapped at the kids. Then, the professional picture guy delivered our team's pictures for all of those who had ordered. Of course, my mom says "Where's Evan's?" and I have to explain how we didn't get them ordered due to some life drama on the day of pictures. AHHHHH! I just hate when I have to be humbled like this and learn to NOT worry what others think of me... only what God thinks! I do love my mom dearly...we are just very different. That's okay.. keep praying that she and her hubby will become planted at EFC! Same for Aunt Robin and Uncle Bob.
Here's what I'll end with:
I want to share Jesus with someone within the next 2 days- I know this can look like many different things- but my prayer is that someone will be saved by His grace.
Good night dear friends,
love you,
k
Life is Good because of God! Thumbs up!!!
3 comments:
The fog will clear and your sights will be much clearer again soon. Keep you eyes where you know it needs to be and your heart will follow.
I think we can forget how life changing our salvation is to us and slack in sharing that with others. I try to look at it like I know how much I need it so I know others need it just as much. That's what compels me to share it. Good luck and remember sometimes we don't see the fruits or impact of what we share with others at the time. As long as your following the steps God has directed before you, you'r doing great. That's all that matters.
Love Ya
I love you! I also can totally relate. I've been there, too.
Kara,
There is nothing to be sorry for, I was the one who showed up at your place whinning about my bad day.....I love you and really appreciate your attempt to engage my friend in conversation and offer your hospitality. For that I am truley gratful.
Don't worry about your mom, if she is anything like most mom's she is having a hard time with the dinamics of you being her daughter, yet having children of your own so you are a mom too.
I have been so in your shoes before and trust me in a hundred years who is going to remember who got what pictures????
I will be praying for you to get your two "saves" so to speak and for the fog to clear.
Thanks again for your kindness,
Love ya lots.
Rita
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