No More Squirmy Worm Kara

You can't comprehend how THANKFUL
I am for all of the positive and encouraging
comments. When I see you in person, you
just radiate with God's love. How did I ever
get so blessed to have such a cheerleading
squad?

I love the Lord with all of my heart and as
I picture the example that P. Randy shared
this morning during service of laying on the
alter and saying to God "Whatever you want
to do with my life- Here I am."

What's interesting about this statement is that
as I repeated after him (to myself), fear tried
to take a strong grip on me. I knew God was
saying to me "Kara, are you really ready to
see what I'd like to do with your life?"
The answer is YES! Yes, I would!

P. Randy told a story of how President Bush
knew when he was a teen that God had an
amazing plan for his life and that he would
greatly impact the world through politics-
someday he'd be president of the United
States. Now, of course, for me is not presidency,
but it is something huge. Don't get me wrong,
being a mom of 6 and a wife are huge enough
as is. But, God's telling me something more...
I'm starting to hear a bit of it, but it's a little
fuzzy. Please pray for me to hear clearly from
God.

Okay, who am I fooling... here's what it is:
the very thing that stood between God and I,
unhealthy lifestyle, is the very thing that God
wants to use most. Hmmmmm.... His grace is
resting upon me like a warm, cozy blanket. I
knew this day would come, I just didn't know
when . For so long, I fought hard and ate much.
Now, I just want to be real and teach, lead and
encourage other women to press on!!!
I love sharing Jesus with others... but God is
calling me to get "bare naked" with my heart
and bare my soul, my heartaches, my lifelong
battle of food addiction, my innermost longing
to be intimately close to my Lord and Savior.

About 3 years ago, I was told that I have a spiritual
gift of teaching. I blew that off like it was no big deal...
yah, yah, maybe someday I'll lead a small women's group
or something like that. Now, it has become the passion
of my heart... God is opening my eyes to an entire
new purpose for my lifelong battle- to serve and minister
to other women!!!

I'm calling on you to pray that God's will be done!!
I do NOT want to ever be put on a pedestal for "losing
some weight" and encouraging others to get healthy.
P. Randy talked this morning about how God has gifted
us all in different ways and that it's easy to become prideful
when you have a gifting that puts you in the spotlight.
I soooooooo don't EVER EVER want to distract others
from my Lord and King.. I am nothing. I am but a speck
of sand compared to the universe. Yet, my God chooses
to use me???
My heart's cry is to be used by HIM for HIS glory.. not
for my own! If he wants me to wash dishes behind the
scenes and clean toilets.. then I will do it!! I don't ever,
ever want to take a "seat in the teachers chair" so
that I can feel haughty and proud... NEVER! That
terrifies me to think that pride could creep it's nasty
self into my life. YUCK!! But, I do struggle with pride-
just pray that I, Kara, stay out of the way of what
God wants to do through me and around me.
This is it... there are a LOT of topics that I love
teaching about (many of you know that sex is one
of my favorites and I truly enjoyed the "Is there
Really Sex After Kids Study" that Tina led last summer)
but my number 1 passion is to encourage, talk to, support,
pray for, cry with, woman about the battle of FOOD!!!!

I've dreaded actually diving into this because it would
mean that I'm 100% serious about my health, my weight,
my food addiction. If I begin to lead others then there is
truly NO turning back. Every day for the rest of my life
has to be laid on the alter for God to use and work through.
It's not about me. I took a deep breath as I typed that as
it's such a load off my shoulders. I've been carrying this
weight for far too long. God wants to carry my burdens,
not me.. I'm just called to be honest and available for HIS
kingdom's service. Ahhhhh.....

Well, I must go. Pray that I will remain clay in the potter's
hand. I do want to be the "shape" that He's created me to be.
I'm sick of playing potter.. as a matter of fact I stink at it!

Today, I lay on the alter and will not wiggle off like a squirmy
worm. I will hold still and listen and obey. It's so peaceful here
as I hold still and just wait. Pray that I wait patiently on the Lord
and will seize opportunities to share with others as He leads.

Off to family group.... can't wait to see what God does there
tonight!!! Love you all!